Teraskas Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Other posters have said this as well, and I wholeheartedly agree that this guy does NOT deserve you. Even his 'reaction' (if it can even be called that) already speaks volumes. If I was in his position, I wouldn't have hesitated to contact you via other means. It staggers my belief that these kind of 'men' are given a chance whereas guys such as Targetlock and myself are continuously passed over for such fools. :/ Still waiting for the day to prove to a woman that not all guys are the same. Sadly, I'm putting myself out there, but not connecting, heh... 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 ...from what she describes sounds like its going to be a "Hi how are you doing" type friendship....fizzle out... Exactly. We dated for 3 months, it did not develop into anything meaningful, none of us is in love, there was no cheating or steeling, we will just go back to being acquaintances. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Other posters have said this as well, and I wholeheartedly agree that this guy does NOT deserve you. Even his 'reaction' (if it can even be called that) already speaks volumes. If I was in his position, I wouldn't have hesitated to contact you via other means. It staggers my belief that these kind of 'men' are given a chance whereas guys such as Targetlock and myself are continuously passed over for such fools. :/. When it started we were into each other, not infatuated but we were excited. It changed around Easter time. When I'd bring it up he'd tell me he was super busy and soon he'll have time and I'll see him all the time. I believed him and hung on the promise of better days. It's normal to do that. Then things get less and less exciting and someone puts an end to it. I don't see him as a bad man. He didn't feel it so he acted as a man not totally into it, I gave it 3 months, we're done. I have no resentment toward him. 2
Omei Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I think your choice to break up was excellent And the fact you're still willing to be civil and still be able to say hey to each other is even more excellent. Just because he wasn't into you doesn't mean you have to go mrs **** you on his ass afterward. I think for someone dealing with rejection during the relationship and having it come to an end you are being a role model for break ups.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 So you're okay with the fact that he lied to you, kept you in limbo and didn't follow through on any of his "promise of better days." No, it's not normal to put up with those kinds of shenanigans from someone you're dating. Of course things got less exciting. He stopped contacting you. You don't see him as a jerk? Wow. Just...wow. I would never put up with what you did from a guy and then accept his friendship as though it's some consolation prize for his disinterest in dating me. Yikes. The guy's a jerk. Not sure why you can't see that. When it started we were into each other, not infatuated but we were excited. It changed around Easter time. When I'd bring it up he'd tell me he was super busy and soon he'll have time and I'll see him all the time. I believed him and hung on the promise of better days. It's normal to do that. Then things get less and less exciting and someone puts an end to it. I don't see him as a bad man. He didn't feel it so he acted as a man not totally into it, I gave it 3 months, we're done. I have no resentment toward him. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Do you see how you two were devoid of passion? You weren't even phased when you broke up..... Do you think picking men who aren't that into you is the solution? Or do you now want to go on to experience a man who would be very upset of you were to break up with him?? I have experienced men being smitten with me, it never last. I was ok with trying something different. He was attractive with gentle manners so why not. I would go as far as saying that when him and I started dating I was so hurt over poof-man that I would have been aggressive against any man showing me infatuation.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 A role model for breakups? Lol! Are you serious? I think your choice to break up was excellent And the fact you're still willing to be civil and still be able to say hey to each other is even more excellent. Just because he wasn't into you doesn't mean you have to go mrs **** you on his ass afterward. I think for someone dealing with rejection during the relationship and having it come to an end you are being a role model for break ups.
Omei Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 A role model for breakups? Lol! Are you serious? Yes I do, dispite anything this man has done to he she's not letting him win by getting the best of her, she's not being filled with anger or plotting revenge and she ended the relationship in a civil manner. Other people here are trying to egg her on to be filled with anger after a 3 month relationship is over, why? Its amazing she's able to keep calm take it for what it was and move on with her head held high and the best part is she's not sitting at home obessing bow this man done her wrong. Sorry but I do consider that model like. 3
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 So you're okay with the fact that he lied to you, kept you in limbo and didn't follow through on any of his "promise of better days." No, it's not normal to put up with those kinds of shenanigans from someone you're dating. Of course things got less exciting. He stopped contacting you. You don't see him as a jerk? Wow. Just...wow. I would never put up with what you did from a guy and then accept his friendship as though it's some consolation prize for his disinterest in dating me. Yikes. The guy's a jerk. Not sure why you can't see that. I don't remember catching him in a lie. His promise of better days were for the end of the month but I am done now, he probably would have had more time for me but it would not change the fact we did not fall for each other, and more time would not have helped that. I don't see him as a jerk. I see him as a man not that into me therefore acted like a man not into me. I am 100% responsible for what I bring in my life = only me is responsible for dating a man 'not into me' for 3 months. 5
Omei Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I don't remember catching him in a lie. His promise of better days were for the end of the month but I am done now, he probably would have had more time for me but it would not change the fact we did not fall for each other, and more time would not have helped that. I don't see him as a jerk. I see him as a man not that into me therefore acted like a man not into me. I am 100% responsible for what I bring in my life = only me is responsible for dating a man 'not into me' for 3 months. well said.
Rar0 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 You're an adult capable of making sound decisions for yourself , not sure why you're being made like you can't
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Length of time is irrelevant where dating is concerned. 3 months or 3 years this guy was a complete tool the way he lied to her. No one is egging Gaeta on to seek revenge. People here have pointed out the obvious, that he is a jerk and not worthy of her friendship. Even Gaeta herself can see it. Um no she wasn't at home obsessing about him, because she posted a thread here wondering why he disappeared for the entire week. Turns out he was avoiding her and made up a lame story about his cellphone breaking. I really don't consider being friends with a guy like that as being a role model for breakups. If anything, it's an example of someone settling for less than they are worth. Just because they're not dating doesn't mean he's suddenly going to respect her and keep his word now and actually follow through on promises. The first time a person shows you who they are, believe them. Yes I do, dispite anything this man has done to he she's not letting him win by getting the best of her, she's not being filled with anger or plotting revenge and she ended the relationship in a civil manner. Other people here are trying to egg her on to be filled with anger after a 3 month relationship is over, why? Its amazing she's able to keep calm take it for what it was and move on with her head held high and the best part is she's not sitting at home obessing bow this man done her wrong. Sorry but I do consider that model like.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Wait a minute. You DID catch him in a lie, about his cellphone, which you posted about here in this very thread. You called it b.s.! And now you're going to deny that? Go back and read your post about it here. I see you making a lot of excuses for him which means you must still have feelings for him. I don't remember catching him in a lie. His promise of better days were for the end of the month but I am done now, he probably would have had more time for me but it would not change the fact we did not fall for each other, and more time would not have helped that. I don't see him as a jerk. I see him as a man not that into me therefore acted like a man not into me. I am 100% responsible for what I bring in my life = only me is responsible for dating a man 'not into me' for 3 months. 2
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Here you go Gaeta. You did catch him in a lie. I don't know why you are defending him now. I really don't get it. It is BS. He kept saying he was sorry, everything is in his phone. That is not an excuse, he has a laptop at home, he has my email. If he googles my name my entire life is on the net with my work number, extension, email, he could have FB me, etc. Anyway I told him I am glad he is ok but I am mad and hurt by his lack of consideration so to forget about me for now.
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Lets clear a few things. No one is egging Gaeta on to seek revenge. People here have pointed out the obvious, that he is a jerk and not worthy of her friendship. Even Gaeta herself can see it. Lets go back to being friends like before. He knows what this means. It means it's ok to say hello once in a while, and if he has great news about his kid or some of his companies pick up and turns into a success I will be happy to hear it. Nothing more. If I need a reference on contractor I will feel ok asking him. That type lets remain friends. Don't read more into it. Um no she wasn't at home obsessing about him, because she posted a thread here wondering why he disappeared for the entire week. Turns out he was avoiding her and made up a lame story about his cellphone breaking. I do believe his phone went down on Tuesday night and he only got a new one today. I had other people calling him from numbers he did not know and it always went to voice mail. What he did wrong was to leave me in the dark for 4 days without attempting to contact me. I really don't consider being friends with a guy like that as being a role model for breakups. If anything, it's an example of someone settling for less than they are worth. Where do I settle.. I broke up with him? I am not going to spend time with him as I explained up there. Just because they're not dating doesn't mean he's suddenly going to respect her and keep his word now and actually follow through on promises. The first time a person shows you who they are, believe them. Keep his word on what? I broke up, past promises don't count anymore. I am not sure I understand your thought process. He doesn't owe me anything anymore, I don't owe him anything. He will go on with his life, I will go on with mine.
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Wait a minute. You DID catch him in a lie, about his cellphone, which you posted about here in this very thread. You called it b.s.! . Wait wait wait, what I called BS is him not being able to reach me without his cell phone. It was not about not believing his story.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 So why did you post here, frantically worrying about his whereabouts all week if he didn't mean anything to you? Calling his cellphone excuse b.s. then denying that you did? I see you contradict yourself a lot in your posts in this thread, so I don't know what more anyone can say to you. Lets clear a few things. Lets go back to being friends like before. He knows what this means. It means it's ok to say hello once in a while, and if he has great news about his kid or some of his companies pick up and turns into a success I will be happy to hear it. Nothing more. If I need a reference on contractor I will feel ok asking him. That type lets remain friends. Don't read more into it. I do believe his phone went down on Tuesday night and he only got a new one today. I had other people calling him from numbers he did not know and it always went to voice mail. What he did wrong was to leave me in the dark for 4 days without attempting to contact me. Where do I settle.. I broke up with him? I am not going to spend time with him as I explained up there. Keep his word on what? I broke up, past promises don't count anymore. I am not sure I understand your thought process. He doesn't owe me anything anymore, I don't owe him anything. He will go on with his life, I will go on with mine.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Yeah, I have nothing more to say. Good luck with him. Wait wait wait, what I called BS is him not being able to reach me without his cell phone. It was not about not believing his story.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I am just glad you are going to be able to move on so to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you do with them. I wish you the best in finding that. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Yeah, I have nothing more to say. Good luck with him. Good luck with him? lol you still don't get it do you. I posted on here worried because I WAS worried. You don't need to be in love with someone to worry about their safety. 3
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Oh, but I do get it. I just don't waste my time worrying what happens to the men I've dated who don't treat me right. Good luck with him? lol you still don't get it do you. I posted on here worried because I WAS worried. You don't need to be in love with someone to worry about their safety.
Rar0 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Good luck with him? lol you still don't get it do you. I posted on here worried because I WAS worried. You don't need to be in love with someone to worry about their safety. You can make you own decisions 1
Omei Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Length of time is irrelevant where dating is concerned. 3 months or 3 years this guy was a complete tool the way he lied to her. No one is egging Gaeta on to seek revenge. People here have pointed out the obvious, that he is a jerk and not worthy of her friendship. Even Gaeta herself can see it. Um no she wasn't at home obsessing about him, because she posted a thread here wondering why he disappeared for the entire week. Turns out he was avoiding her and made up a lame story about his cellphone breaking. I really don't consider being friends with a guy like that as being a role model for breakups. If anything, it's an example of someone settling for less than they are worth. Just because they're not dating doesn't mean he's suddenly going to respect her and keep his word now and actually follow through on promises. The first time a person shows you who they are, believe them. She didn't settle because she IS not with him. You are tho indeed trying to make her change her choice of remaining in contact by trying to get her to see things your way you are in fact trying to tell her just how angry she should he instead of letting her let go like she wants. And many times she's stated this friendship is on a basic acquaintance level which means pretty much you don't even meet up. Gosh what do you want from her here?
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 She can make her own choices. She's an adult. She didn't settle because she IS not with him. You are tho indeed trying to make her change her choice of remaining in contact by trying to get her to see things your way you are in fact trying to tell her just how angry she should he instead of letting her let go like she wants. And many times she's stated this friendship is on a basic acquaintance level which means pretty much you don't even meet up. Gosh what do you want from her here?
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