Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 It is BS. He kept saying he was sorry, everything is in his phone. That is not an excuse, he has a laptop at home, he has my email. If he googles my name my entire life is on the net with my work number, extension, email, he could have FB me, etc. Anyway I told him I am glad he is ok but I am mad and hurt by his lack of consideration so to forget about me for now. 8
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 New phone and it takes him 4 days to contact you? Yeah right. I bought a new phone and made calls from it minutes after I left the phone store. If you buy that excuse from him as as the truth, well, I feel bad for you. No what he means is from Tuesday night his phone didn't work and he just got a new one now Saturday morning. Even if it's true and he could not manage to get a new phone in 4 days, it's not an excuse to not try to reach me with another mean.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Glad you could see the forest for the trees. How about changing the "for now" to "forever." He's a jerk. Seriously, how dumb do guys think women are??
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 He's lying to you Gaeta. You deserve better. No what he means is from Tuesday night his phone didn't work and he just got a new one now Saturday morning. Even if it's true and he could not manage to get a new phone in 4 days, it's not an excuse to not try to reach me with another mean.
umirano Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Seriously, how dumb do guys think women are?? Had girls doing this to me Either way, these people are not worth any decent persons time. 2
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Fair play to you umirano, women can do that too. I agree with you that people who lie like that just aren't worth wasting time over. Had girls doing this to me Either way, these people are not worth any decent persons time.
irresolute Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 He's an inconsiderate jerk. You'll better without him. 4 days to get a new phone yeah sure. I hope you realize this guy is not deserving of your time. 1
bene Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I think that because interest level in your is mild, he has eithe bbeen genuinely busy yet not considerate enough of your feelings to tell you. You should know by now that you are not exactly "that girl " who is on his mind often. I have to agree here. He might have lost the phone, he might have been busy but it didn't occur to him to contact you and give a sign of life. If I would be out of reach for several days, I wouldn't bother informing friends who I don't meet very often but I would inform people who might need or want to contact me during this time. I don't know, all threads about this guy drop hints that he might not be that into this relationship. One by one you can find an explanation to all these things but it seems that you are not on the same page in this relationship. Even if he's not necessarily up to something shady, he seems to be OK with a lot more distance than you are. Please don't take this as an offence, it is just an observation reading several threads about this guy. 3
Potz4prez Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) Well that makes PERFECT sense considering you two have the only phones in your ENTIRE country! Perfect BS excuse. edit: Saw her post about emails being shared... comment rescinded haha What a jerk Edited June 7, 2014 by Potz4prez 1
irresolute Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Gaeta: I've been reading your recent posts about this guy you're calling a "boyfriend". He seems very unreliable, a liar, and a dubious person. He chose to do his laundry on a Saturday night. then he "disappeared" another Saturday for 4 hours. then he threatened you with going back to the US, then telling you some odd story about getting married to obtain a Canadian visa, then not wanting to pay for you anymore, and lastly, disappearing for 4 days in a row with the excuse of a broken phone. And with all these red flags, you're still dating this ash.ole?? Why are you calling him "boyfriend"? He doesn't seem to feel the same for you, obviously. I do think you're somehow lonely and you choose this guys that are using you (this one and the previous one who disappeared). Do you know for sure is this scumbag is staying in Canada or maybe he's staying for some time and wants to have a good time (multiple dating etc, or what's worse, using you and your money)? I feel sorry for you, because all the people here seem to realize this guy is worthless but you still give him opportunities for him to deceive you in multiple ways. Please wake up!! 5
ExpatInItaly Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Good grief. This man is not a boyfriend. What boyfriend disappears for days without getting in touch with his girlfriend? He's so full of sh*t. He's showing you left, right and centre that he's not committed to you. How many more red flags do you need before you drop him for good? 2
Ruby Slippers Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 How disappointing is this "relationship" going to get before you finally get fed up? I wonder. Is he incredibly, irresistibly sexy or something? Or do you think this is the best you can do? Personally, I'd rather be alone. 4
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Some of you have inspired me to make my exit. I told him I had calmed down and was ready to address the matter. He had now shown me several times that I was not that important to him. I felt it was time for me to stop investing time and feelings into this. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend and it was not happening, so it was better for us to go back to just being friends, no more pressure on him and no more disappointments for me. He said ok, if it's what you wish lets be friends. So no arguments on either sides. 7
ExpatInItaly Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Some of you have inspired me to make my exit. I told him I had calmed down and was ready to address the matter. He had now shown me several times that I was not that important to him. I felt it was time for me to stop investing time and feelings into this. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend and it was not happening, so it was better for us to go back to just being friends, no more pressure on him and no more disappointments for me. He said ok, if it's what you wish lets be friends. So no arguments on either sides. Well, at least now you know where you stood with him. He didn't object to this break-up. You've done the right thing! 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Some of you have inspired me to make my exit. I told him I had calmed down and was ready to address the matter. He had now shown me several times that I was not that important to him. I felt it was time for me to stop investing time and feelings into this. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend and it was not happening, so it was better for us to go back to just being friends, no more pressure on him and no more disappointments for me. He said ok, if it's what you wish lets be friends. So no arguments on either sides. I think he really likes you as a person, Gaeta, but he just doesn't adore you on the level a boyfriend should. .... Even the slow burning relationships that don't start out with the guy being too smitten should progress more than this one has...the man should still BEFORE quiet taken with you at some stage, albeit not initially when you first start out dating. And Gaeta.... guys who are not crazy about you can dissapear just as readily as the guys who ARE very love struck. .... why not go for the guys who are head over heels? They are in such adoration of you and it's so clear and lovely how much they show they are falling in love with you. I'm sorry this didn't work out.
BC1980 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Some of you have inspired me to make my exit. I told him I had calmed down and was ready to address the matter. He had now shown me several times that I was not that important to him. I felt it was time for me to stop investing time and feelings into this. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend and it was not happening, so it was better for us to go back to just being friends, no more pressure on him and no more disappointments for me. He said ok, if it's what you wish lets be friends. So no arguments on either sides. Well, there is your answer then. He didn't try to fight for you, so he was probably relieved you ended it. I'm sorry you went through all of this. You deserve better.
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Wait...what?? You're actually going to stay in touch with this guy as his friend? Some of you have inspired me to make my exit. I told him I had calmed down and was ready to address the matter. He had now shown me several times that I was not that important to him. I felt it was time for me to stop investing time and feelings into this. I wanted to be treated like a girlfriend and it was not happening, so it was better for us to go back to just being friends, no more pressure on him and no more disappointments for me. He said ok, if it's what you wish lets be friends. So no arguments on either sides.
Author Gaeta Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 I don't mind going back to just being friends, friends as in 'whats up, how's your kid' type of being friends. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating. I am offering to going back to what we did before, which was not much. We go back to being acquaintances. I don't mind, I am not in love with him. Right now I feel good and relieved. I made the right decision. 4
irresolute Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 see? He doesn't even care. look, Gaeta, you sound extremely naive. you don't need to stay friends with this guy. don't you have enough friends? What you need to do is go no contact immediately and never open the door for this jerk again. You don't need people like him as a friend! If you stay in touch is because you have feelings for him and nothing more. His answer was clear: ok to be friends. He doesn't care about you! 1
writergal Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I wouldn't really put someone who acts like him in the friend category. 2
Leigh 87 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Do you see how you two were devoid of passion? You weren't even phased when you broke up..... Do you think picking men who aren't that into you is the solution? Or do you now want to go on to experience a man who would be very upset of you were to break up with him?? 1
irresolute Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Yeah, agree with Leight87. I'd be extremely frustrated if the guy I'm into replies "OK, as you like" without fighting at least a little. He's gone as far as don't even try to make you feel ok, it's like you're not even a person for him. Why would you keep someone who doesn't care AT ALL about you as a friend? I thought friends are the ones who care, not this guy!! 1
Omei Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 She's not dating the guy anymore good for her some people stay with someone else for years before they realize they arnt contributing to the relationship emotionally. If she wants to remain friends or keep in contact with the guy so what? It sounds like it would fizzle out anyway because she broke up with him she's obviously no longer willing to make efforts towards someone who doesn't want too back and im sure that will carry on for her into the friendship too so what's there to worry about? I very much doubt she plans on taking him out to lunch her treat stuff lol from what she describes sounds like its going to be a "Hi how are you doing" type friendship....fizzle out...
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