Bold Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I had a good first date with this girl. She is extremely attractive but also intelligent, active, and fun. Only downside I see right now is her job and hours - she works weekends. We spent around 2 hours together. I was a bit too touchy, which made her uncomfortable, but she seemed to enjoy our conversation. At the end of the date - walking to my car - she asked about my favourite food and if I know good restaurants of that type, and that we should go. Then in the car, she started asking serious questions like when my last relationship was. My last one was a year long and ended at start of Feb (she might think this is too recent). I found out she's only had 2, and her last one (2 yrs long) ended in September. Then she told me to pull over outside her place and asked me if I had any questions for her. I'm not used to such serious conversations on the first date and was drawing a blank, and told her she's putting me on the spot. I think she then apologized - and hugged me goodnight with a little kiss on the cheek ...I smiled and said "what's this?...you're not going to kiss me?". She laughed and said "Not Yet". She messaged me while i was driving home saying she had a fun chatting, and thanking me for the night. We sent a couple more messages back and forth before she went to sleep. I messaged her yesterday night (2 days later), too late in the day but I was busy before then. After a couple texts, I asked if I could call her or if it's too late? She said "I'm in bed dear. Next time". And here is when I made my mistake...I asked her out over text. No response since then (I don't think she'll respond..she usually responds faster than this). I know this seems like a dumb mistake, but I'm used to dating younger girls that do everything over text. This girl is actually a few months older than me; it's refreshing to date someone my own age (late 20's). I really don't want to screw this up and am just wondering how to proceed. Was thinking I'll just send her a text tomorrow saying "Thinking about you. Hope you're having a good day at work." , see how she responds and maybe call her a bit later to ask her out. Thanks in advance for any input!
HappyLove Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't think you screwed up. If you want to get to the point I'd just call her up with an actual event so if you get vm you can leave a message, for ex "Had a great time the other night was wondering if you'd like to do dinner on X night". If she ignores you move on. 1
J21 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) I've asked out girls via text and it works fine. If they're interested, they're gonna say yes regardless of whether you call or text. Thinking the being touchy and expecting a kiss was too forward and a mistake on your part. She strikes me as the conservative type having only 2 bfs in the past (we're you even listening when she said that?). As a general rule, I never push the boundaries of touching, especially so soon. If she initiates then I reciprocate, but there's nothing worse than having a date that is too touchy when you've just met. You hardly know her, and for all you know she might not like being touched. Also, if they are interested, they're gonna wanna hold hands, kiss, etc eventually. Delayed gratification is a better and safer bet than overly crossing a stranger's personal space. You just come off as a horn dog. I also think the timing of your text wasn't the best. She just told you she was in bed-- yet you still texted her anyways. This shows you are impatient or don't have self control. You can't just force your will of wanting to ask her out when she just told you she's in bed. Cmon man, timing. Dating girls few months older than you vs dating girls a few years younger don't mean squat. You still should still exhibit the same amount of self control and patience. If you already asked her out and she didn't reply, texting her "thinking about you. Hope you're having a good day at work." is gonna come off needy and creepy as hell. This is something you say when you have built rapport and she is showing mutual interest. You don't send that kinda text when you've been on one date with her and was overly touchy. The "I"m in bed dear, next time" was a bad sign too. If she's interested in you, she's gonna want to chat even if its brief. Cmon she's not a 90 year old grandma that needs to sleep right then and there. To be completely frank, if she hasn't replied to you by now then I think you blew it. A girl that attractive doesn't have problems getting dates, and someone that busy doesn't have time to waste. She can get another date easily and there's probably a line of guys waiting. Edited June 6, 2014 by J21 1
Author Bold Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 Thanks, I'll just give her a call tomorrow then. I guess I was confused because I met her at a club and when I tried to get a kiss there when she was leaving, she said she would if my friends weren't staring. I also have a friend who always pushes girls' boundaries and he's very successful. I guess there's no way of apologizing for being too forward without looking unattractive?
HappyLove Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Don't bring it up. If she gives you another chance just be 100% gentleman. As a matter of fact I wouldn't even go for the kiss if you go out again. Good luck!
mirage12 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Thanks, I'll just give her a call tomorrow then. I guess I was confused because I met her at a club and when I tried to get a kiss there when she was leaving, she said she would if my friends weren't staring. I also have a friend who always pushes girls' boundaries and he's very successful. I guess there's no way of apologizing for being too forward without looking unattractive? Don't apologize. Try one more time to ask her out, doesn't really matter if its by phone or text. She'll respond to either if she's interested. And agree with poster above, now that you've made things a little weird, don't push for the kiss next time. Pushing a girl's boundaries like your friend does only works when certain types of guys use it on certain types of girls.
Recommended Posts