guest572 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 You can seek a serious long term relationship but it doesn't mean you would start an instant relationship with anyone you date. However i have been dumped before with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" excuse when that is what he clearly stated he was after on his profile. BUT it was merely an excuse for "i found someone else to pursue" as he is now in a happy long term relationship
spiderowl Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 *facepalm* What in the world could be puzzling about this? Welcome to earth, shall I introduce you to someone called..."man"? Ohhh I get it, you thought men were honest about their intentions and if they stated they are looking for a relationship then they are actually looking for a relationship...well that's cute, but not very realistic. If you're over the age of 16 this SHOULD be pretty much be common knowledge, it's not "probably" right, it is right for the vast majority...but don't worry, you'll always believe or think the man you're with would be different for no real good reason and better than those "some men", so it won't apply to you anyway at least in your mind as you "avoid" them all...at least you'll never know FOR SURE since a man basically has to admit that to you word for word, which the vast majority never would be so stupid, while at the same time the vast majority are sleeping with women they find half-attractive because a vagina is a vagina...so do the math on that one. I do agree with you about the motives, Ninja, but disagree that every girl over 16 should know this. Many are brought up in nice families where love and respect is what women are taught. Parents generally don't tell their daughter that 'many guys will shag any girl they find remotely attractive and even some they don't if they are horny enough', yet that's the sad truth. It might be something guys talk about amongst themselves, but it's not commonly discussed in families. Women still want to think that men are capable of getting romantic over them and loving them. What a horrible world it seems when you realise that guys think differently. I think men say that women are being stupid and naive for not understanding the nature of the male sex drive because they want to absolve themselves from responsibility for their behaviour. I admire the guys who don't take advantage, but are honest about their needs and intentions.
aprilisi Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Had a man tell me once that he was looking for a relationship, just not with me. Yes it hurt. But now I respect him for not dragging me along. Or playing the disappearing act. He is a good man.
littleplanet Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 *facepalm* What in the world could be puzzling about this? Welcome to earth, shall I introduce you to someone called..."man"? Ohhh I get it, you thought men were honest about their intentions and if they stated they are looking for a relationship then they are actually looking for a relationship...well that's cute, but not very realistic. If you're over the age of 16 this SHOULD be pretty much be common knowledge, it's not "probably" right, it is right for the vast majority...but don't worry, you'll always believe or think the man you're with would be different for no real good reason and better than those "some men", so it won't apply to you anyway at least in your mind as you "avoid" them all...at least you'll never know FOR SURE since a man basically has to admit that to you word for word, which the vast majority never would be so stupid, while at the same time the vast majority are sleeping with women they find half-attractive because a vagina is a vagina...so do the math on that one. whoa nellie................. (though of course, you are describing a pretty sizeable herd online, I'll admit) After dodging through enough sharkettes and wolves out there in the real world..... I sometimes wonder if there is an exact match between the way people behave online and in real life. (sort of like sweet little grannies turning the air blue behind the wheel of their Lexus) - anonymity behind the tinted glass, so to speak. The crustier and more world-weary I feel (on bad hair days) the more I'm inclined to cast a sad glance askance at the whole OLD thing. But you know what put me off it like sour milk? There are an awful lot of people out there who can't write. (but - not in here!!!) Sometimes I think social media skills have just gone to hell in a handbasket. But I do recall - being a rather earnest young man one time who was actually looking for a relationship. And what I found (in what I refer to not so fondly as my "Casanova" year) was endless invitations for zipless sex - from the most astonishing variety of women. As Paul Simon once sang....."at times I was so lonesome I took some comfort there" - until there was no more comfort to be had. I retired. (not to bedlam, just to catch my breath) whereupon after resurfacing, I found something much more substantial. The point being: both genders do this. Equally? (I have no idea these days!!!) When my college-aged son came home to complain about the current state of affairs......(20-somethings) I used to warn him about that stage in life where he was bound to run into peers with "issues." (I remember them well.) But yeah. If the dudes could just lay it out straight. 'Fun' ain't necessarily the big R. There's fishing and there's fishing. If you're after a tuna, a sunfish is kind of lame. (but - it's still a fish....of sorts.) But back to the question at hand: I'm well aware of the hookup culture out there. I work in a rather large university. Some young men grow up and outgrow it. Obviously, many don't. I'm tempted to say that this all goes with the territory......online adventures and whatnot. But I'm sure all this happens in the face-to-face world, too. Oh......and the half-attractives? were never attractive at all. A woman must shine in a man's eyes. Otherwise, he may as well be blind.
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