missholly Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Hello, I met a guy on a dating site about 6 months ago. We went to dinner once, but no spark. We have texted and chatted regularly since then to check up on each other and share the challenges of dating. I do not know his family or friends, and am pretty sure they don't know about me. He died in an accident this week. I'm sad to lose my friend, but not sure how I feel about attending a highly emotional service for a very popular and well known guy. I just want to sit unnoticed in the back, but I'm sure several acquaintances will attend, and I dont really want to explain how I knew him. What do you think?
Author missholly Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 I'm not sure. I'm trying to be really honest with myself about that. I definitely need to saw goodbye, but think I could get that closure by visiting the accident site or his grave after the funeral. I'm worried that if I don't go I will regret it, but if I do go might feel uncomfortable or like I dont belong there. I want to remember my friend, but I don't want to be a voyeur of his family's personal pain.
David87 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't see a good reason to attend his funeral unless you really cared about him. 1
cmp67 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't see any harm in going. You can just say you that you were a friend of his. If his family presses further, you could even just lie and say that you met him through a mutual acquaintance or something. His family might even appreciate knowing that he was so respected and well liked by so many people, even people they didn't know themselves. 2
David87 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't see any harm in going. You can just say you that you were a friend of his. If his family presses further, you could even just lie and say that you met him through a mutual acquaintance or something. His family might even appreciate knowing that he was so respected and well liked by so many people, even people they didn't know themselves. Yeah , good advice(NOT) : Go to a funeral and lie about how you know the deceased..... 1
Rar0 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 If its of a person you aren't fond of, then no. You don't have any obligation to attend.
ThatMan Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I think that it would be in extremely poor taste falsely represent yourself to a grieving family... 1
jbelle6 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Is there no wake? It's common place where I live yet I know it's not common everywhere. If there is a wake, go there, and not the funeral, if there isn't and he gave you good memories then go to the funeral. It's support to his family so if you want to express that go ahead. People need to remember, funerals are not for the dead but for the living. If you have no relationship or a bad one, stay away. If you want to celebrate the person and show respect go. 2
Emilia Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't see any harm in going. You can just say you that you were a friend of his. If his family presses further, you could even just lie and say that you met him through a mutual acquaintance or something. His family might even appreciate knowing that he was so respected and well liked by so many people, even people they didn't know themselves. I agree. Most family members won't question or press you at times like this, they will be busy with their grief and there will be plenty they know. You can sit in the back quietly and just say you were a friend. They won't start going Krypton Factor on you with a million questions, guarantee it. At the wake it would be different but at a funeral you won't get much attention. 2
guest572 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) Of course you should go, if you wish to say goodbye and pay your respects to him. It is a funeral, it is about him. Not you. Everyone there is busy grieving anyway and since it will be a big gathering you should be able to just blend in at the back somewhere. You don't have to say much if someone approaches you, just say you are friends with him and thats all you have to say. Edited June 6, 2014 by Brightnight 2
rocketman122 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I think it comes to the fact that he was a human being and thats all that matters. I would go to anyones funeral just to respect the person as a person. yes I think you should. 3
ain5053 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 If it makes you feel good as a person, go to a funeral. I probably would.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 it doesn't matter what people ask you, you are his friend, yes? So say you are a friend of his. Doesn't matter. I agree with 100% jbelle6 on everything she said.
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