TBMCHIB Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 OK, so I am not normally "date the bartender" guy but the bar manager at my fav place is a girl who I have a complete crush on. Cant help it. I stop in for lunch a day or two a week and always meet a friend there on Friday nights for a few beers. I've known her six months or so. This girl calls everybody "honey" "baby" "sweetie" but I always get a hug and a kiss. Sometimes she's in a great mood. Some days, she's busy, tired and kind of crabby. But she's a pro and does a great job and is always sweet to me. Anyway, stopped in for lunch yesterday and she came over and said she had accepted a job at a new place in the area. Asked me not to say anything to anyone but wanted me to know. I politely asked if it would be OK if I "made the switch" too. She laughed and said of course. Before I left, she gave me a hug and in that moment I asked if I could take her to dinner some night soon once she figures out her new schedule. She responded "heck yeah, I'm down with that." So I told her I'd see her Friday, gave her another hug and left. So after that long rambling story, at what point should I bring it up again? I want to go out with her but do not want to appear overanxious. I'm about 13 years older than her so want to be very respectful. Not trying to "score" here, I really do think the world of her. Thanks. I've lurked here for awhile. This is a great site.
jbelle6 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 OK, so I am not normally "date the bartender" guy but the bar manager at my fav place is a girl who I have a complete crush on. Cant help it. I stop in for lunch a day or two a week and always meet a friend there on Friday nights for a few beers. I've known her six months or so. This girl calls everybody "honey" "baby" "sweetie" but I always get a hug and a kiss. Sometimes she's in a great mood. Some days, she's busy, tired and kind of crabby. But she's a pro and does a great job and is always sweet to me. Anyway, stopped in for lunch yesterday and she came over and said she had accepted a job at a new place in the area. Asked me not to say anything to anyone but wanted me to know. I politely asked if it would be OK if I "made the switch" too. She laughed and said of course. Before I left, she gave me a hug and in that moment I asked if I could take her to dinner some night soon once she figures out her new schedule. She responded "heck yeah, I'm down with that." So I told her I'd see her Friday, gave her another hug and left. So after that long rambling story, at what point should I bring it up again? I want to go out with her but do not want to appear overanxious. I'm about 13 years older than her so want to be very respectful. Not trying to "score" here, I really do think the world of her. Thanks. I've lurked here for awhile. This is a great site. Hey! I have been the bartender. Could go either way. It's hard to tell in that industry since it's our job to be sweet to people. We also grow very fond of/close to our regular customers who treat us well. It's hard for me to tell if she's interested or not since I have never seen her interact with other patrons to know if she's like this with other regulars??? I do know I never dated customers because I figured it would get awkward. Maybe now is a good time to just ask since she won't be working at the place you frequent anymore? That way if she says no, it's not a big deal for either of you, and she might be more apt to say yes since she will no longer be working there. 1
mirage12 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 OK, so I am not normally "date the bartender" guy but the bar manager at my fav place is a girl who I have a complete crush on. Cant help it. I stop in for lunch a day or two a week and always meet a friend there on Friday nights for a few beers. I've known her six months or so. This girl calls everybody "honey" "baby" "sweetie" but I always get a hug and a kiss. Sometimes she's in a great mood. Some days, she's busy, tired and kind of crabby. But she's a pro and does a great job and is always sweet to me. Anyway, stopped in for lunch yesterday and she came over and said she had accepted a job at a new place in the area. Asked me not to say anything to anyone but wanted me to know. I politely asked if it would be OK if I "made the switch" too. She laughed and said of course. Before I left, she gave me a hug and in that moment I asked if I could take her to dinner some night soon once she figures out her new schedule. She responded "heck yeah, I'm down with that." So I told her I'd see her Friday, gave her another hug and left. So after that long rambling story, at what point should I bring it up again? I want to go out with her but do not want to appear overanxious. I'm about 13 years older than her so want to be very respectful. Not trying to "score" here, I really do think the world of her. Thanks. I've lurked here for awhile. This is a great site. You told her you'd see her Friday, so ask her then or at least get her number so you can plan a date. I worked in food service in college and even when the female waitresses/bartenders were getting hit on all the time, they usually weren't saying yes to dinner with any of their customers. Sounds to me like you've at least piqued her interest. 3
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 Hey! I have been the bartender. Could go either way. It's hard to tell in that industry since it's our job to be sweet to people. We also grow very fond of/close to our regular customers who treat us well. It's hard for me to tell if she's interested or not since I have never seen her interact with other patrons to know if she's like this with other regulars??? I do know I never dated customers because I figured it would get awkward. Maybe now is a good time to just ask since she won't be working at the place you frequent anymore? That way if she says no, it's not a big deal for either of you, and she might be more apt to say yes since she will no longer be working there. That she confided in me that she was leaving I thought was very sweet. I got the sense she really hadn't told anyone else. She is super sweet to everyone but she does not come around to hug and kiss anyone else (at least not that I've seen). Guess I'm sorta the nice guy who would never make any sort of inappropriate sexual comments that I'm sure she and a million others like her hear all the time. I do tell her how nice she always looks and when she's got that po'd look on her face, I always say "you wanna talk about it?" I have no idea why I'm so fixated on her but she's just got some quality that I adore. But, I asked if I could take her to dinner and for what it's worth, she did not hesitate to say yes. So I guess I'll give it another couple interactions and when she tells me her plans and schedule, I will respectfully ask if dinner would still be OK.
jbelle6 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 That she confided in me that she was leaving I thought was very sweet. I got the sense she really hadn't told anyone else. She is super sweet to everyone but she does not come around to hug and kiss anyone else (at least not that I've seen). Guess I'm sorta the nice guy who would never make any sort of inappropriate sexual comments that I'm sure she and a million others like her hear all the time. I do tell her how nice she always looks and when she's got that po'd look on her face, I always say "you wanna talk about it?" I have no idea why I'm so fixated on her but she's just got some quality that I adore. But, I asked if I could take her to dinner and for what it's worth, she did not hesitate to say yes. So I guess I'll give it another couple interactions and when she tells me her plans and schedule, I will respectfully ask if dinner would still be OK. See, then I think you are good to go since she already said yes. She would not say yes to just anyone. Sounds like you just need to set up a time and place to me. I don't think you need to wait too much, just ask her about her schedule and when a good time is. She already said yes!!!
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 You told her you'd see her Friday, so ask her then or at least get her number so you can plan a date. I worked in food service in college and even when the female waitresses/bartenders were getting hit on all the time, they usually weren't saying yes to dinner with any of their customers. Sounds to me like you've at least piqued her interest. I do have her cell number. I kidded her awhile back that if she ever left, she better leave her number where I could find it. She wrote it down that day. Just never had the you-know-whats to ask her to dinner. When she told me she was taking another job, just thought this was the time.
jbelle6 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I do have her cell number. I kidded her awhile back that if she ever left, she better leave her number where I could find it. She wrote it down that day. Just never had the you-know-whats to ask her to dinner. When she told me she was taking another job, just thought this was the time. What about calling her and asking her outside of work? I think I would have liked that better. I wanted to add that I too made one exception to my no dating customers rule, and I was married to him 2 years later lol.
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 What about calling her and asking her outside of work? I think I would have liked that better. I wanted to add that I too made one exception to my no dating customers rule, and I was married to him 2 years later lol. A happy ending. That's outstanding. Not sure I should call her at this point. She's gonna be at her current job at least another week or two. She said she should have her start date and first schedule for her new job sometime next week. She's never real swamped at lunch so I kinda feel like I will have the chance to politely follow up. I am striving for sincere, which I totally am, without being a pain in the butt. New job is a stressful time so I want to be respectful but make it clear that I want to spend time with her outside her work. 1
MissionPossible Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 As a woman, I can tell you that if you joked about having her number and she immediately gave it to you, then said "heck yeah" without hesitation to the dinner date, she is definitely interested. Since she is, it doesn't matter when you bring it up again. She won't be annoyed. It may go better if you wait till she's not in a stressful job transition period, though. That way you can focus on each other. Good luck!!!! 1
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 We'll see how it goes this evening. She sure does make me smile. The relationship/potential relationship complexities not my area of expertise.
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 My poor Sweetie was busy and not feeling well tonight. Didn't have much chance to talk to her. Poor thing looked tired. Did grab a hug before I left. Will certainly see her early next week.
guest572 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I'm confused, do you have a date with her or not? She sounds keen, strike while the iron is hot
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 I'm confused, do you have a date with her or not? She sounds keen, strike while the iron is hot I fully intend to follow through. Just wasn't the right time last night. I'll see her this week.
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Just want to say, Good Luck! Thank you. Hopeful but we'll see.
Lansing Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 You have her number. I say USE it. She gave it to you for a reason. Did she take your number or not? I really wouldn't "wait" until she is not busy to set up a date. Either ask her if one night works that you are free (maybe give her two options) or somehow fix a date. I wouldn' t keep talking to her at work. Now is the perfect chance. Don't get nervous now that you think she might be interested. I had a situation where I got this girls number who was 12 years younger than me last year. In the back of my head I was thinking "ah, she probably isn't interested and was just being nice to me" when I got her number because of the age gap and how we met. Well, we went out a couple of times but I think I treated it too friendly and I never seized the opportunity to progress things and it fizzeled out. This year, I met another girl around the same age gap and again I was attracted to her right away. I figured I would play my cards differently and assume she was interested. My behaviour totally changed and it helped bring my confidence through. Turns out she was/is interested so we are seeing where things go.
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 No doubt nerves are a factor here. She is very tough to read and the only reason I am treading lightly is because of her pending job change. I know she's stressed. With the job switch, she won't know what night she could go yet anyway. Right now, she works six days/evenings a week and always talks about how her house is falling down around her because she works all the time. Part of the reason she is ready to take this new job is because the schedule will be so much better. Trying to balance being the caring sweet guy with "hey, I really want to take you to dinner." But I will see her in the next day or two and my plan is to follow up.
Author TBMCHIB Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 well I was outta town for a week and she was off sick a couple days. stopped in for lunch yesterday and we chatted for awhile. She always talks about her sweet tooth so I had to pick up some breakfast for a meeting at my office so I brought her a giant cupcake and told her she would need some buzz since Fridays are long days/nights for her. Went over very well. Her job still in a bit of limbo but I said "In case you forgot, I would love to have dinner with you some night soon." She said "definitely" and smiled. So it's moving at a glacial pace but I'm a patient guy.
Author TBMCHIB Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 Ugh, don't mind me. Still patient but a little frustrated. My sweet girl appears to be staying at her current job, at least for now. Schedule has eased up for her. I'm gonna have to make one final pitch for dinner soon. Her birthday is tomorrow so she's off but I found out she is working today. So I ordered some custom decorated cupcakes and picked them up yesterday and took them to her this morning right before she opened. She was surprised and happy. Didn't want to hit her with dinner again. Just told her I wanted to make sure I saw her for her birthday. Am I hoping against hope that she'll give me a night for dinner without asking again? Guess maybe I'm just bad at this. I am usually really good at reading people but man oh man, this girl is just so sweet AND so hard to read. Happy 4th all!
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