PLEASE help me! 4.5 years and it's over...It is so hard!

[Forget About Her]

Please take the time to read this entire thread. I really need help and I want to give you as much detail about my relationship as possible. I don't think I've ever experienced anything this hard in my life. I'm 22 and I dated the love of my life on and off for almost 5 years. We lived together straight through for almost 4 of those years.

 

I moved in with her and her mom when I was 18, and she was 20. I was fortunate enough to get lucky with one of my internet businesses and ended up purchasing a house a week after I turned 19. I invited her to live with me, and we lived in my house for the last 3+ years together. We talked about getting married, kids, etc. This was my first "real" relationship. Not counting hook-ups in high school.

 

Here is some background...I was an a**h*** to her. She had a very extensive sexual past and I hated her for it. She stripped for a little bit, was a drug addict and had sex with about 15 guys (that she admits to) before me. She had been clean for about 6 months when I met her. I got her to stop stripping, and helped her in school. She got a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree over the time we were together. She is incredibly smart and ambitious. I broke up with her about a year and a half into our relationship because I wanted to experience other women. We continued to live together and act as if we were a couple, even though I was out hooking up with other girls. She knew about most of them, and knew about a lot of my activities.

 

She was pretty much waiting around for me while I would go out all the time without her, I would constantly throw in her face that we weren't together, and I would always make sure everyone understood that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. I made her sleep in her own bedroom even though we were madly in love and had sex on a very regular basis. I never really cared about her feelings and I would leave her at home crying and just basically didn't give a **** because I didn't think she would ever leave me and was going to wait for me forever.

 

Well, about the beggining of January she mentions that she wants to date other people. This was a shock to me, but I rolled with it. She eventually met this younger guy, 20, through one of her friends and took a liking to him. This guy is the best friend of her best friend's boyfriend. He is a skinny little bitch that is a "very nice guy", that still lives with his parents, doesn't have a job, etc. She started going out on a lot of dates with him and told me that she really liked him. So I kicked her out of the house 3 weeks ago. She now sees him every day, she sleeps at his house, etc.

 

We went out a couple times last week and she looked like she was still so in love. She told me that she feels like she made a mistake and that she doesn't even really like this guy. At this point, they had only kissed a few times. She said that she was going to tell him that she just wants to be friends and that she doesn't care if she hurts his feelings. This week, she sleeps at his house every day, I'm sure they've had sex, she bought him a valentine's day present and she is so cold to me, on the phone and in person. When I see or talk to her, she just acts as if I'm some random guy off the street, no emotion at all!

 

I got the last piece of property that she still had of mine back from her yesterday and we agreed that we should never talk again. I'm still so in love with her and I'm ready to make a commitment. I've told her all of this and she just doesn't care. She says that she really likes this guy and sees it heading down the path of a relationship.

 

How do I get past her and move on? She said that she's been getting over me for the last two years and feels like we've been growing apart for so long. I never saw it, but I never really took notice.

 

I'm so heart broken and I cry everyday. I'm a fairly attractive 22 year old with my nice house on a beautiful lake, a car, a dog, finishing school this semester. I got a job right out of school that pays 60k + a year to start, yet I can't stop thinking about her. Please help me move on.

 

I keep thinking about her being with him all the time, sleeping with him, holding him, kissing him...It's so ****ing hard.

[pioneer]

By the sound of it, ur better off apart. Take some time going out with your mates and doing different things, if your on that much money, you shouldnt get bored. Maybe she'll come back when shes ready, but dont wait around. Try the no contact thing to, it really helps you to get over it.

[roxy_1980]

You treated her like cr@p for two years. Of course, she's pi$$ed off at you. If I were her, I wouldn't be coming back. Don't plan on it.

 

Move on with your life and maintain no contact. You'll be doing both of you a favour.