Iceman Posted April 14, 1999 Posted April 14, 1999 I've been dating this girl for a while and during this time I've indicated that she should consider losing some weight and getting into better shape. She is about 150#, 5'9". I'm 155#, 5'8". I think I love her, but I can't resolve the fact that I would prefer that she was thinner. Any suggestions?
Thiamine Posted April 14, 1999 Posted April 14, 1999 I've been dating this girl for a while and during this time I've indicated that she should consider losing some weight and getting into better shape. She is about 150#, 5'9". I'm 155#, 5'8". I think I love her, but I can't resolve the fact that I would prefer that she was thinner. Any suggestions? Let me get this straight; you told your girlfriend you wanted her to lose weight so you could love her? Even if she didn't show it, that hurts. Possibly if you both joined a fitness club or went biking together or something, it would be more enjoyable for you both. Don't base your love on someone's body shape; look at who they are inside. Love, Thiamine
Ryan Posted April 15, 1999 Posted April 15, 1999 Well I have to wonder about some motivations here. First, if you weren't particularly happy about her appearance and attractiveness from the start, why did you get/stay involved with her? I understand and wholeheartedly agree that outward appearance is not what makes a relationship, but NOBODY is going to want to get involved with someone they aren't attracted to. Anybody who says differently is simply a liar. Just be well aware that the defintion of beauty varies between every individual, so there is no absolute here. Second, I wonder what your motivations are for encouraging her to lose weight. Since I don't know her, I can't speak about her body composition. 150 at that height is not necessarily overweight/overfat nor would it be by very much if she indeed had such a condition. If you'd like to see her shed some body fat in order to be healthier (which is a legitimate concern) and perhaps move into an overall more fit lifestyle, then I say go for it. But if it is merely for aesthetics, I go back to my original point that you knew what you were getting when you created this relationship. I don't think you can put such caveats on what love is. I think it shows that your relationship isn't as deep and complex as you'd like to tell yourself. After all.....should you throw on 10 pounds of muscle to earn her love?
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