Closer Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Hi all, I've been out of the dating game for a long time, I'd love some advice on this one: We met a few months ago, hit it off right away and had quite a number of in-depth conversations about ourselves. He's also taken me to dinner quite a few times at some really amazing places. But there are two main issues with the relationship that we knew would be a balancing act: 1) We live two hours from each other. 2) I work Mon-Fri and his work is 99% based around the weekend He's come here a few times which was nice and he often invites me to come up to his town, which was fine the first time because he was free. But since then, it's boring and frustrating because he's always working and I end up just sitting there playing on my phone. Added to that, where he lives is a tiny town that doesn't even have a supermarket, so I can't run my errands while he works. Since we kicked off this relationship, I'm finding that literally within half an hour to an hour of us setting foot in the same room, we have sex. The first few times was great and spontaneous, but now, it's almost as if that's primarily what this relationship is based upon. It's almost as if it's like 'okay, we only have a short time together, so let's just cut to the chase!' A few weekends ago I said I was staying in my town (literally to catch up on my life and work!!) and he was totally cool with it, as he had to work at a big festival all weekend. But since then, the communication levels have dropped. It used to be texts or phone calls each night. Now it was only one rushed phone call in the past 10 days. Granted, he did warn me he's very busy this time of year, and is trying to launch his product into the big time, but something just isn't sitting right. To me, if you're interested and want to pursue a long-term relationship, you need to communicate more than once every 10 days. He's always on his phone as he uses social media to keep customers up to date, so not having access isn't the issue. Of course, I'm not sitting here pining away over him. I'm quite busy at work etc, but a phone call on a more regular basis would be nice! Just curious about your thoughts or if you'd had this happen to you.
PegNosePete Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Sorry to say this doesn't sound as though it will go anywhere. Your schedules are simply incompatible with the distance. A relationship needs to have time put into it and you two simply can't put in the required time together. 1
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Sounds like there was a lot of sexual attraction between you 2 but now you guys got that out of the way seems there isn't much left to work with to build a relationship. Considering the distance and the contradicting schedule I don't see how this relationship is viable. 1
Author Closer Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Well, here's the update and boy is it a cracker: I was looking through FB shortly after posting the original message and low and behold, what pops up on my news feed? An image of a girl in his kitchen taken at about 9pm at night! Well, that finished it for me. But things quickly got worse for me. The night after this thread, I got sexually assaulted by someone I thought was a friend. Well, multiple police and assault support unit visits later, naturally the issue of his infidelity was not high on my priority list. It was a sh*t experience and I hope to never go through it again. I've since moved on with my life (well, as best I can) and hopefully the f*cker gets charged. But then, a few days ago, he phones me. "Hi, I'm outside your door. Where are you?" A month ago, I would have considered that a romantic surprise. But now, I'm emotionally exhausted with men, and it clearly looks like nothing more than a booty call. "I'm out of town. Get off my property!" Well... we did have a longer conversation than that. I basically called him out on the photo and told him that his absence spoke very loudly during this difficult time of my life. He magically had amnesia about the photo and then proceeded to try and make me "feel better" about my recent trauma by saying really 'supportive' things like "What did you do to cause it?" and "I feel that you're simply projecting the anger you feel toward your attacker on to me". Fortunately for him that he was two hours away otherwise I would have strangled him. Thank you for the advice 1
PegNosePete Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Sorry for your terrible experience. Oh man what a douchebag. At least you've seen his true colours now, and they are not pretty! I wish you well recovering from your ordeal and I hope the guy gets charged too.
Author Closer Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 Thanks PegNosePete. I'm much better since the ordeal - 'highly resilient' the counselor described me as
Recommended Posts