BornToDie Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 There's a person who was once very significant in my life that now no longer is, but I still think of him often. I've known him since I was about 9, and when we got into high school, we got closer. We would stay up until 3 AM, just talking. When he got a girlfriend, we drifted apart because she was so jealous of me. Around the time I was 16, they began breaking up, and he started expressing his romantic interest in me. We never officially dated, but he was the first person I ever kissed, went on a date with, and fooled around with. When I started dating my current boyfriend at 17, he tried his hardest to get me to be with him instead, and even though I was on the fence, I knew it wasn't a good idea. We both went to different colleges, and he got a new girlfriend and started a new life. When my mom passed away from cancer my freshman year, he never said anything to me until months later. He told me his grandmother had died and then apologized for never being there for me when he should've been. That was all that was really exchanged. He's had other deaths in his family, and being the better person, I'd shoot him a text telling him I was there for him; his response to that was, "thanks for that. I know it's hard for you to be considerate to someone like me." From then on, he's appeared sporadically in my life, wanting to talk at late hours, sometimes in a sexual nature (I'm assuming he's drunk). He's still dating his girlfriend. The last time he came around was a few months ago. Seeing my opportunity, I told him I wanted to talk about things and be friends, and all he said was, "I can't think of a time that I didn't want you as my friend." After that, no response. To set things straight, I am very serious about my current boyfriend and have no desire to leave him for this guy, or anyone. I'm just bothered that this guy is the only one I never got closure with. I realize that sometimes you just can't get what you want, and as my best friend put it, "life gets a lot easier when you accept the apology you never got." However, I just feel like so many things have been left unsaid, and there are some things that I'm still pretty angry about. This guy's ex is now my best friend, and she told me the reason he isn't a constant in our lives anymore is because we don't feed his ego. So what do I do if he comes around again? I know the best advice I can give myself in this situation is to just let it go, to cut out the things in life that aren't bettering me, and to get on with it, but it's tough. Every time he's out of my head, he pops up again, and that desire for closure just comes rushing back.
mariee Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 The guy sounds not right at all to me. You don't need any closure. Just forget about him and move on. You have your dear boyfriend now, why would you still bother thinking about someone who doesn't respect you? If he come around again, just ignore. If he really cared you, liked you, he would try to work on things between you and him. It sounds like the guy is not even worth think about. Just forget about him. And ignore. You deserve better
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