Bindi33 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 So I've just begun dating a guy 16 years older than me. I'm 22 so obviously there is not a legal issue here. But the oldest I've ever dated before was 9 years older, and that was very brief. So just hoping for some advice/tips for dating such and older guy??
Potz4prez Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Well that's just assumed. Make sure he buys you things.
Baller25 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) Act dumb, make him feel like a hero, allow him to believe that you're innocent, do things to create 'invest in me' signals and for goodness sake don't always try to be right (always being right kills happiness). Another LS poster also once said to give a "constant supply of blow jobs and sandwiches". I don't think a woman that did all of the above has ever been cheated on or broken up with. I'm only 25 but I imagine that when I'm in my late 30s that I'll be going for girls in their early 20's. Why? Because they tend to not have that 'know it all', critical, self-righteous and flawed attitude that older women have. The reasons I mentioned before are why guys have ALWAYS gone for younger women for thousands of years. Edited June 4, 2014 by Baller25 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I didn't find any of these helpful What does he have going on baggage wise? Ex wife? Children? Those are big factors. What's his relationship history? If he hasn't held down a significant LTR by this age, it's a big red flag.
Author Bindi33 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 No children. But I know he's had at least a couple serious relationships. And I know he was married once but I believe the marriage only lasted like 3 years
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 hhmmm so he is 38 years old and his longest relationship was no more than 3 years. To me that would be a read flag. He is not long term material. Has he always dated much younger? What type of relationship are you hoping for with this man? Yes you 2 are legal but experience wise you are an infant and he went around the block more than once. I have nothing against age difference, I myself date someone 12 years younger but we're in our 30s and 40s. We both went around the block more than once. When a man dates a much much much younger woman sometimes it's because he doesn't have what it takes to interest a woman his age. He's often immature and has more qualities to attract a young 22 than a woman of 42.
Joaquin Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Just be yourself and try to see if he's a good match for you. Even us oldies I.e. 30+ still feel 21 and know how to party, like its 1999. 1
Author Bindi33 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 Honestly I'm not at all looking for anything super serious or long term. I'm not looking for a one night stand either. I plan on moving out of within the next 2 years so I don't want anything too serious. But I wouldn't mind having someone to fill my time and keep me company while I'm still here
Gaeta Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Honestly I'm not at all looking for anything super serious or long term. I'm not looking for a one night stand either. I plan on moving out of within the next 2 years so I don't want anything too serious. But I wouldn't mind having someone to fill my time and keep me company while I'm still here Then he is perfect for that if he treats you right. 1
MalachiX Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Age differences are always a little tough because you guys are at different places in your life. My GF is five years younger than me and sometimes I catch myself expecting too much from her when I certainly wasn't the most put together person five years ago. In any serious relationship, it's good for you guys to be on somewhat equal footing. It's not impossible given an age difference but it's something to be mindful of. That said, I'm always a little suspicious of men who only want to date women FAR younger than them and women who only want to date men FAR older. It seems like, in each case, these people are looking for something in their partner that isn't entirely healthy and searching for an inherantly unequal relationship.
FitChick Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I just posted a thread in the Water Cooler about a guy who dates women old enough to be his grandmother. Funny yet disturbing, complete with photos of him, his mom and his girlfriends. If everybody has a good time, who cares?
David87 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 How serious do you want this relationship to be? Do you see yourself married with him plus 2 kids?
Author Bindi33 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 I haven't had any signs whatsoever that he ONLY dates younger. In fact, as far as I know, his relationships have all been his age. Furthermore, I definitely do not see married with kids, EVER. I'm not looking for anything even remotely that serious. I'm just looking for a caring person to spend my time with for the time being.
ain5053 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 If you are looking for a serious relationship, most important thing is to be on the same page with the other person. Age is not very significant, but your maturity level is. I am the same age as you and have always dated older men, but I am quite mature and independent for my age and often this is an issue with dating guys my age. So it really depends on how you two connect and what you both are looking for, if both are ready for a serious relationship, share a connection and interest and most importantly able to relate to each other (which is often the biggest issue with age gaps) then I do not see an issue. If you do not possess these things, I say this is just a fling. You are intrigued by his age and he is intrigued by your youth. Don't think about the age difference, just be yourself and decide whether you two actually share any chemistry or whether it is just physical.
central Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 There is nothing wrong with dating an older man, especially as you don't anticipate a lasting relationship. If you were, then many considerations come into play, but most wouldn't really matter until he gets much older, perhaps near retirement age. The main concern I'd have is what are HIS expectations? If he is seeking a LTR, and you are not, you should at least let him know that. At his age, his LTR prospects can decline significantly with each year. If he wants a family and children, this is especially important as he should probably focus on that or at least know that it's not an option with you so that he can make an informed decision.
Emilia Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I'm just looking for a caring person to spend my time with for the time being. Good, it means you won't end up his carer in his old age - which is what a lot of older guys look for.
rocketman122 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 hhmmm so he is 38 years old and his longest relationship was no more than 3 years. To me that would be a read flag. He is not long term material. Has he always dated much younger? What type of relationship are you hoping for with this man? Yes you 2 are legal but experience wise you are an infant and he went around the block more than once. I have nothing against age difference, I myself date someone 12 years younger but we're in our 30s and 40s. We both went around the block more than once. When a man dates a much much much younger woman sometimes it's because he doesn't have what it takes to interest a woman his age. He's often immature and has more qualities to attract a young 22 than a woman of 42. thats a bad thing? if he can attract 22yo, then a, he must look good enought to attract 22yo and 2, maybe hes not an old fart and young at heart..the fact he wants to date a 22yo thats a different issue. I can understand him wanting to date a younger women. I prefer older women but have had thoughts about, wth should I date older women. in various places I worked I had interest from young girls as well. around the 24-27. I dont think id have much in common though. and while the idea would be great, I wouldnt try. OP it is possible to date people with a big age gap and have a serious R. and since you said youre looking for a person whos caring to spend time with then see how it goes. Only thing I would say is be honest. if youre in be in, if youre looking for a person just to entertain you then have integrity and walk away.
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