superb Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 My boyfriend lost it yesterday outside in my back yard after my ten yr old made a smart remark to him while we were all cleaning out my garage. He kicked things, threw things and stormed off into the house. I didn't know what was going on so I followed him in...pretty alarmed. He was yelling how he's never coming back...sick of this.. Threw all of his things into his bag and pushed me down twice while I was telling him to sit, calm down and tell me what was going on. He took off and text me about 30 minutes later saying it was over. I asked my sons their side and they both said that my one son was just playing around. I talked with my boyfriend and he was still enraged....said exactly what my son told me but then went on to say he couldn't stand him, he was never coming back and it was over. I don't know why I feel such a tremendous loss and feel like I've done something wrong. He pretty much blew it....it's over. Everything we had....our plans, our friendship. It's just over. There's no way I can be with someone who has a temper like that....but I'm feeling so empty and sad.
stillafool Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Good he's gone if he pushed you down twice. What exactly did your son say to him? If we don't know that information it's hard to see his point.
Keenly Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I don't think it was this one incident that made him mad. Something must have been building.
Author superb Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 My son was carrying a bucket of toys to the front to the trash....he said hey throw this away and my son said no you and laughed....then my boyfriend threw the toy or whatever and missed the bucket and my son said oh you missed! I truly think my son was just clowning around with him. My son is on 2 different medications for a mood disorder and can be taxing on your nerves but my boyfriend has been in his defense every time we talk about it. He's mentioned that my son requires too much of my attention. Perhaps there was some jealousy there....I don't know. 1
stillfiguringitallou Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I think you hit the nail on the head. Special needs children can make relationships difficult. Especially if the person you are with feels that way. At the end of the day - your partner chooses whether to stay and can. You didn't choose to have a child who needs so much of your attention - and your child didn't choose to be one who does. So it's your job to choose a partner that understands that as well. 2
April Moon Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Woah!! Not okay in the least bit! You son is a child and your ex-boyfriend is an adult acting like a child. Be thankful you have seen this side of him now... 1
Author superb Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 I think you hit the nail on the head. Special needs children can make relationships difficult. Especially if the person you are with feels that way. At the end of the day - your partner chooses whether to stay and can. You didn't choose to have a child who needs so much of your attention - and your child didn't choose to be one who does. So it's your job to choose a partner that understands that as well. You are right. I just don't understand why he didn't say something sooner ...we've spent so much time and invested a lot in each other, including my kids. His temper is dangerous and I see that now. I just wish things hadn't gone this way. Now we all feel a loss. 1
umirano Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I think you (and your sons) dodged a bullet... I understand it feels like a loss right now. But imagine what could happen if he decided to swallow it this time. Maybe he subconsciously knows he cannot handle the situation. Prepare mentally for him coming back to you. If he doesn't consider yourself lucky. But be sure to have your lines ready when he wants to get back to you. I think this incident is a red flag, one that you should be grateful for. Sorry though, I'm sure it's tough. 3
CaliGypsy Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I talked with my boyfriend and he was still enraged....said exactly what my son told me but then went on to say he couldn't stand him, he was never coming back and it was over. If he told you he couldn't stand your son then he said everything he needed to say. For me that would be different lets say than .." I'm having a hard time dealing with his behavior" or something like that. He definitely does not sound like a man who has the patience to handle the challenges of a child with special needs. It's still understandable that you'd be sad about the relationship ending even if you know it's for the best. You don't usually just start suddenly unloving a person. 1
Amy74 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I have no insight...I just know that break-ups suck. My ex was physically aggressive with my 4yo son. My son was completely misbehaving and I was trying to ignore the bad behavior and I guess my ex thought he would step in. I just want to support you. Your children's ALWAYS come first. They need to know that you choose them and you should never tolerate animosity toward your kids. 3
Elle1975 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Kids and money are big matters to agree on for a couple. he probably didn't agree with the way you raise your kids and bottled it up. Not saying he's right to think that way as I don't know you. That he got physical is just absurd.. good riddance. 1
Author superb Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 This is the 4th time he's broken up with me....always in dramatic fashion. Comes back three days later saying he's sorry and every time I take him back because I love him. I think he's going to stay away this time, he's humiliated himself in front of the kids even and really over did it with the pushing me around. I think at.the heart of this....it's me. Too forgiving and too hopeful I guess. I don't want to keep going thru this....rationally my mind knows better, emotionally I'm just very sad. Like everyone who goes thru break ups really. It's painful to be without someone you have a strong bond with. I don't know what else to say... Thanks for your support though...I really need it. 1
Recommended Posts