kalanga1 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Hi, I meet my ex when i went partying to her university, ( my university is like 180 miles away), the funny stuff is that she actually lived near me, and she was a customer on my mother's hair salon ( oooh the destiny ) , so many coincidences lead us to start talking, we eventually got together. She is everything im not and im everything she is not, like im calm and reserved and she is super emotional and straightforward, i guess that, what got us together was the idea of being better if we could "gain" something from the other ( typical stuff, im better when im with u, u complete me ,wtv) . We had very different personalities, this factor got us addicted to each other, we each would ask advice or support each other, but it also got us into fights about nothing. She is an emotional woman and often claims for affection, i am a "mechanical" person, i think a lot before i give emotions. Thats the way i am, and for 4 years i was always the same. But, the last 1/2 year she became more busy, she had her internship and thesis,her part-time, some workshops and she is at Firefight school ( damn) ... We usually could see each other on weekends and twice a week, but it was always on limited time. Sometimes i would get annoyed about this, but if she wanted to do it, i wont be against it. We got into a routine, for a long time, every week would be the same, but i keep saying to myself that it would be just for a while, since she ends the internship in a couple weeks, and has already ended firefight academy. Last week she broke up with me, saying she needs to be alone,think about herself and concentrate with her work. She stated that she stopped loving me bit my bit, because she doesnt felt loved and that our relationship isnt making her feel good. I have spoken to her twice after the break up, i needed to know why and if she needed time to get her sh*t together or something, she said that she stopped loving me a while ago but was trying to convince herself to continue this relationship because "im a nice guy and a good person", i felt that she doesnt want to try again, under any circumstance. I want to move on with my life, but i dont know if i should let her go or try again. I cant understand how im still in love, and she doesnt feel anything .
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I also got pretty similar language during the break up. Though my ex didn't flat out say she didn't love me, she wouldn't answer the question and just responded with "this is torture." Not sure what that meant. However, my ex made a point to tell me that it is over and she can't try again. So what have I done? I've respected her wishes and tried to move on with my life. I really feel that deep down inside her and I will be together at some point in the future but I'm not banking on that right now. I haven't contacted her in nearly two months, I'm dating, I'm working out and trying to do some other stuff I've wanted to do for a while. You should do the same thing. IF, there is any chance of you two successfully working out in the future you need to be a better person than when she found you last. You need to mature as a person, learn from the relationship and be a better person...FOR YOURSELF. I'm sure she feels something for you but its probably not romantic love right now. She has been feeling like this for a while and hasn't communicated it properly to you. That isn't your fault. Again, life gets better. Its hard, its tough, but if you learn from the relationship and focus on yourself you will be in a much better position than you can even begin to comprehend.
Author kalanga1 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Yes, i can understand what you said. I mean, our relation got into a really bad spot. I regret not being able to see that earlier, i guess it was a illusion of love and routines. I'm not planning to speak to her, i will move on. But, i feel like we arent finish. Let see where life takes me.
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