tempo Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) last week met up with ex boyfriend from 20 years ago. i had recontacted him via email and was rather startled by his enthusiastic response to my out of the blue message - we had only vaguely stayed in touch although lots of friends in common. he came over, hadn't seen him for all that time, we drank too much, ended up in each other's arms and spent the night together. it was wonderful, amazing, warm & tender, the 20 year absence just slipped away. the problem is he is married with 2 kids. and lives 1000 miles away. but i haven't been able to eat/ sleep since. i have always said i would never ever do this - have been on the receiving end myself which caused the end of my marriage when my daughter was 6 months old. have essentially been single since. so i do feel guilty. but was overwhelmed by my emotions & feelings. that said i am realistic this has no future. but i just want to tell him how i feel. my marriage was a disaster and although I promised i would never cause such pain to anyone else, i also promised myself i would be honest to people about what i felt. what do i do ? i have written a 2 page email, but havent sent it as he probably thinks it was a great one night fling and i am over analysing things.... Edited June 4, 2014 by tempo
Keenly Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 If he lives abroad, there's no future for you, why would you want to tell him that you feel guilty? It almost seems like the reason you want to tell him is because you want him to feel guilty with you. You might just have to throw this one in the mistake pile, learn from it, and move forward. 3
sweet_pea Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I'm pretty sure you can guess what will most likely happen. If you want the affair, go ahead with the email. If you don't, I would suggest keeping the email to yourself and not pursuing the relationship further. Having been through infidelity, you know first hand how it feels to be cheated on/how it ends most of the time, so if you want to be apart of that… so be it.
SoftViolin Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 You made a mistake. Good people make mistakes. You should know yourself that you are a good person. You do not need the validation that he knows that too that you will get from telling him you feel guilty. He obviously has his own problems to deal with. Leave him to them. Forgive yourself, and move on.
still_an_Angel Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Maybe you need to think what you want out of this friendship with him. If you pursue a relatio ship, its more probably an EA, makes it hard for PA due to distance. You did not talk about emotional connection, etc. It was focused on the physical side of things. You can still consider this as a ONS, as you have not really invested emotionally. Remember your family and consider his family when making a decision to pursue this. Will it be worth it?
Recommended Posts