Has anyone ever become better friends after a breakup?

[ponchsox]

Is it possible to have an even better relationship, plutonic, as friends when there is no pressure of dating?

[Michelle ma Belle]

Yep. Absolutely.

 

I was with my ex for 20 years (4 years dating and 16 married). It started out fine but got sour slowly and gradually. When we decided to separate we did so with the full intention of making it work as friends if only for the sake of our children and families whom we loved dearly.

 

As difficult as that break was for everyone, what we learned is that we are MUCH better as friends than we ever were as partners, lovers or husband and wife. In fact, we are the best of friends today because we have such a long history together and have been there for each other through a lot of bad times and good times. We basically grew up together. That is hard to let go of after 20 years.

 

BUT this friendship thing ONLY works if you BOTH want it and are willing to work at it. It does NOT work when one person is in and the other pretends to be or whatever. Like any relationship, it takes effort and mutual respect.

 

Today both my ex and I are in LTR and life is good

[PhillyConnection23]

Absolutes have no place in a relationship, especially a venue like this.

 

So I'm going to say, sure it can happen. Its not definitely a possibility but it happens all the time and it doesn't happen all the time.

[JahnJahn]

I think if you can look at your ex and not want to get them back while being somewhat comfortable with seeing them with another partner then sure.

 

Being friends immediately after the break up would be hard. And don't be her/his emotional cushion.

[d0nnivain]

I doubt it.

 

 

I was friends with a guy for a year or so. We studied together etc. We became FWB but we were still BFFs. We talked about anything & everything all the time. Then we became BF/GF.

 

 

We lived together for about 9 years. We were together for almost 12.

 

 

Honestly, including my husband, I'd be hard pressed to say that anybody ever knew me as well as he did.

 

 

On those rare occasions when we bump into each other, we have trouble having even a 10 minute conversation. After we get passed the how are you's & ask about the various family members, there isn't much left to say.

[flightplan]

It's easier for the person who holds the power in the relationship to be friends... and that's not much of a friend anyway.

 

And for those situations where you've emotionally detached, I could care less if I was their friend. There's usually nothing left to bond to.

 

A friend is someone I can confide in, trust, have my back... I don't think an ex holds very many of those qualities.

[Mariposa10]

I was able to be friends with my ex for a year, but WE NEVER HUNG OUT. We never saw each other that year.

 

Anyway, you're obviously not ready for any of that... I'm sorry!