expendableaccount Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Today I'm telling my crush how I feel. She's noticed I've been feeling down and asked what's up. I told her I'd tell her in person. She doesn't know it's about her and that's why I'm struggling to think of a way to tell her. I mean, there's so much more than "I like you" that needs to be said. I like you but I understand you don't feel the same and that's fine. I've been feeling down because you don't feel the same, because I feel uncomfortable hanging out while I still like you but I don't want to lie to you. I've also been nervous because as I'm changing classes next year we're going to end up in the same class. And I don't want to feel uncomfortable in school either. Ugh, it's so much but I wonder how much she'll take in after the initial "I like you." Anyone got a good idea of how I present this in the best way possible to her?
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 How do you know she doesn't feel the same? She may surprise you. I would not blurt out that you like her. Declarations like that never work. I'd be a bit cagier. Tell her that you are down because you fear that your crush doesn't feel the same way. Ask her how she would handle that (but don't tell her she's your crush yet). Then ask her how she would handle it if she was the one being told that someone liked her but she didn't feel the same way. Depending on how kind her response is you can reveal your feelings but I'd be careful.
umirano Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I don't agree with dOnnivain. If you talk to her, tell her what this is about. I'd go totally different about this whole business though. I'd pull away from a person I feel romantic love for and who turned out not to reciprocate. There are tons of other people to hang out with, and if not, it's a good opportunity to find new people. Hanging out by yourself is not so bad either from time to time. But usually a confession like this makes things slightly awkward.
O'Malley Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 What do you want to result from your outpouring of feelings? Are you still hoping that there's a chance, however small, that she might reciprocate? Even the best intentioned scenario will likely make her feel awkward and uncomfortable - to her, it may seem you've put her on the spot, even though you seem to want to avoid making her uncomfortable. It might be a better idea to confide in a trusted friend who would likely be a bit more objective about your situation. At the very least, it gives you an opportunity to get your feelings off of your chest without the potential for fallout that confessing to your crush might cause. If you are concerned about the discomfort being in proximity to her is causing you, find ways to address that personally. You may have to step back from the friendship, not in a hostile way, but put more focus on activities and friends who are not connected to her. 2
Mrin Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Ok I am confused. Are you the one who is more into her it is she more into you? If you are more into her: then I would go with what dOnnivan said. Or say nothing at all. If she is more into you and you only like her: then be upfront about it
morbot_k Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Knowing she doesn't reciprocate the feelings - what are you hoping to accomplish by telling her? Nothing good can come of that. Better to do one of two things. Ask her on a date. Say hey, we're been such great friends and get along so well, maybe we should try a date and see what happens for the heck of it? Or, forget about it. 1
umirano Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Yeah, actually scrap what I said about telling her. I take it you're into her and she's not into you. Don't talk about it if you know for sure. Find someone else. 1
preraph Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 If you already know she's not into you like that, it's totally unfair and will get you nowhere to put her on the spot like that -- and she can't be your friend/therapist about this. If you were smart and had some self-discipline, it would be best to just move on and stop focusing on her.
mortensorchid Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Others beat me to the punch. It doesn't matter how your presentation goes, it's what her reaction is going to be when she hears this news. And know what? It's not going to change things. When I was younger I thought it was an ok thing to be open and honest with my feelings with others, and you know what? I'm not today. Because what does it get you? Not much. You put the other person on the spot and they won't like it. It's fine you have a thing for this woman, but if she's not going to reciprocate how you feel you better move on. I've encountered a lot people in life, from the ones who are absolutely determined to get someone to like them or do what they want them to do to those who are completely passive who want others to take the lead and everything in between. And you know what? It all ended in disaster. It's a delicate balance, and you have to be just as delicate. This ain't gonna happen.
GoreSP Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Yeah, actually scrap what I said about telling her. I take it you're into her and she's not into you. Don't talk about it if you know for sure. Find someone else. This. If she isn't into OP, him telling her is not going to make her magically fall for him. That shyt only happens in movies.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 This. If she isn't into OP, him telling her is not going to make her magically fall for him. That shyt only happens in movies. true 'dat...
abby_tx Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I wouldn't say anything. Pull back. If she doesn't like you now, that may be the only thing that will change her mind. If it doesn't, nothing will.
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