karlym3 Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 I was dating this guy for one week. While dating him I found him to be extremely agrresive and found to have much more in common with his friend. I stopped taking his phone calls and planned to work the same night his friend was. I ran into him and we talked and I told him we should hang out sometime that I would take him out and help him meet girls(he is single) He gave me his number and I called him. His best friend knows nothing about this or us hanging out. We went out, had a blast and he kissed me. We then hung out 3 days later and then a couple days after that. Here we are dating at week 6. This is what I get from him - while we are hanging out we will make plans to hang out the next wk sometimes he will ask or I will--but then I do not hear form him at all until the very day we are to hang out-a wk later. By that time I dont even know if he has forgotton, found someone new etc. OUr dates when we hang out consist of going to get a drink at a bar or hanging out at his house. We talked and he told me that he considers us dating but does not want a relationship now. We have not had sex as I told him that it means a lot to me and would only do this If I was exclusive. We do kiss alot and hug and he insists that I sleep over-though we do not do anything. We hold hands on our dates and he put his jacket over me, opened the car door etc. I feel that by 6 weeks I should be getting phone calls in the middle of the wk. I thougth well maybe if I call him he will get the hint. I called him on a monday he called me back thursday. I called him back sat and by monday got frusterated and wrote him an email asking why it takes so long to return a phone call and that we hadnt seen each other this wk and if he feels it isnt working out or he is interested in someone now was a good time for us to end being that we hadnt spoken or hung out. He called me immediately and apologized and said he wanted to see me wednesday. So youd think maybe he is afraid--a little- to loose me but read on-- When we hung out on wed I said that I need a phone call at least once inbetween our hanging out. He said he hates the phone, he hates making phone calls. He will try. I asked him about me dating other people and he said you can have your cake and eat it to- we can hang out and do this etc. but you shoudl not feel guilty about dating other people. I just can not believe that after 6 weeks he is saying that and risking the chance of loosing me AND I need to be asking him to call me he should want to right??? (we hang out 1-2 times a wk usually one we have busy and conflicting sched.) I just feel like he is putting in the mininmal amount of effort possible. He is just cool as a goose I wonder what do u think that he will come out of this. What do I need to do. Is it a lost cause? Another thing is that his friend is moving to another state in 3 more months- maybe things will change once that happens? Or maybe I am just not the one. Mybe he is just not that into me....I just hate to sit around and waste my time on something that is never going to happen. I also hate to give up if there is something there. I could try playing hard to get... But how. ALL suggestions welcome!!!!!!!!
CoolAunt Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Karlym3, what I get from your description of things is that he's just wanted to be friends - affectionate friends - and nothing more. I wouldn't expect this one to progress at all. Nor should expect dates made in advance or calls during the week. And if you two continue with this affectionate friendship, it will probably end when one of you starts seriously dating someone else. Btw, the guy seems to be on the level with you. I think it's cool that he hasn't played games with you to get you in the sack. I don't think he's a bad guy; he's just not THE guy for you.
Author karlym3 Posted February 12, 2005 Author Posted February 12, 2005 Thanks so much for the quick advice. That is prob. the truth. I guess it is time to move on then..
CoolAunt Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Karlym3, don't be sad, girl. Like I posted before, he's not a bad guy and it seems that he cares about your feelings. In six weeks that y'all have been seeing each other, your relationship hasn't progressed and it won't. But you enjoyed the six weeks, right? And your friend was straight up with you and didn't hurt you or take advantage of your feelings for him, right? It was a pleasant experience.
Author karlym3 Posted February 12, 2005 Author Posted February 12, 2005 Is it me- he is just not into me or just not looking right now? I dont think I can be just friends with him- Do you think that there is anything I can do to get him to see me in a different light? What do you think that he wants from me? Has this happened to you? You seem very knowledgeable
CoolAunt Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 I'm not that knowledgable. I'm just old. First of all, there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing that you should do better in order to win this guy over. He obviously likes you and finds you attractive or he wouldn't have hung out with you and kissed you a couple of times per week for the last six weeks. Ya' know...the kissing thing and sharing a bed thing but no sex kinda' made me wonder...Do you think that maybe he's gay?
Recommended Posts