FitChick Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 This woman interviewed hundreds of men from all walks of life for her book, The Untold Story: Interviews with Men. Some of her findings are in this article.
Els Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I've always found it incredibly insulting to men as individuals for anyone (male or female) to purport to know 'what men want'. Same goes for 'what women want'. 11
gaius Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 She seems correct about some things, less so about others. The part about men being trained to be fake is spot on. Most women do respond better to nonsense and bs. =/ The part about why men cheat, not so much. 2
Leeway Harris Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Sorry women, it's just not that simple. If you want to know what we want, you're gonna have to get to know us as individuals. I know, it's harder than reading an article. I guess if it's worth it to you, you'll make the effort. 8
Emilia Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 She seems correct about some things, less so about others. The part about men being trained to be fake is spot on. Most women do respond better to nonsense and bs. =/ The part about why men cheat, not so much. That was my conclusion too. I think men create a make-believe world to show confidence but often it's talk. The difference between talking to the talk and walking the walk - to use the cliche. I think the rest is less universal and can't be as generic as the journalist makes out. 3
Haydn Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 People still read the mail? Individuals all of us. Men and women. 5
Woggle Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Most of it isn't true. I don't agree about the cheating thing and you are a hypocrite if you judge somebody for doing the same thing you are doing. She is right that a lot of men are scared to be who they really are with women because we live in a society that frowns upon masculinity but deep down most women are actually attracted to it. 1
Els Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 People still read the mail? The OP clearly does... a lot, judging from her past threads. 3
Keenly Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Linda, who interviewed hundreds of men - ranging from her local coffee shop assistant to hedgefund owners - about their views on dating and love, said: 'I was curious about how men were dealing with the changing role of women in society and it's safe to say that I am amazed at how traditional men are.' Linda shared certain points she thinks we don't - but ought to - know about men with FEMAIL. Her first piece of advice? 'Just tell men what you want, when you want it. 'Men just want to please us but we are so hard to please. Women just expect a man to know what they're thinking but they won't have a clue.' Linda, who has starred on 20/20 with Barbara Walters, the Howard Stern Show and The Late Show with David Letterman, also believes that men deny, rationalise and lie - all because women don't accept the truth. I can get on board with this part My research shows that while a lot of men won't necessarily judge you for sleeping with them on the first date, there's no way they'll have a long-term relationship with you or take you home to meet their mother. Here is a terrible blanket statement that can not be used to describe all men. Men are blinded by lust, it's their drug. Your evening together could be full of passion and lust and he may tell you you're the greatest girl in the world but I can guarantee he will wake up and find you 50 per cent less attractive in the morning. Wrong. 'He will wonder if you do that with every man, he wants to feel special and not used,' she explained. True. 'He doesn't like slutty dresses, nor heels we can't walk in and he absolutely hates desperate women. Oh and by the way, men under 29 only want you for sex.' Okay, I'm finished with this article. This woman is clearly a moron. 2
Radu Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 This woman interviewed hundreds of men from all walks of life for her book, The Untold Story: Interviews with Men. Some of her findings are in this article. Interviews with some men. I think she is spot on with some assumptions and totally wrong with others : - 'Men just want to please us but we are so hard to please. Women just expect a man to know what they're thinking but they won't have a clue.' - damn straight; i suspect because women tend to put too much emphasis on emotions and also because women are biologically better equipped at dealing with relationships and social situations [some research done on differences between male and female brain]. We can learn some of the stuff, get some of the rules, but bottom line is that for most of us it would help if you said 'u did this bad, this is how you broke it, fix it'. - 'Women live in a fantasy world,' she says. 'Women want men to rescue them but they can't.' --- yes and no; from what i've seen, men tend to be blamed by women in a passive way for the dissolution of a marriage due to a communications breakdown [read Michelle Langley's book Women's Infidelity for examples], it's not an absolute but the tendency does exist.From what i've seen is that women do not spend their time living in a fantasy world. -Linda believes that while women refuse to give up if they don't get something, men simply shut down. Generalisation, it's probably valid for her society; the country i live in, women put up with plenty of stuff ... in fact i can't even mention the number of times i've heard a woman say 'well, he did cheat, but at least he isn't hitting me and he is paying the bills, and not leaving with that slut'. The reverse is also true, i've seen men who put up with a lot of stuff, but most of that tends to be emotional and psychological abuse .... not wanting to lose the kids. -'We want them to be emotional but they just can't be, end of,' she maintains. Men get punished for being emotional. I've said it again, and i'll say it again, the only valid emotion a man can show without endangering how he is seen, is anger. If we get upset, go and punch a tree untill we can't feel anything, it's ok. Cry, we get thought of as less ... first by our own gender, and 2nd by women as well. That doesn't mean that if you are a woman married to a man, you won't see him cry, but think back ... is it publicly and often ?; or is it in private and rare ? - 'Men live fake lives,' she proclaims. 'They pretend to be someone they're not, they've been trained that way and feel the need to be competitive but they always come up short compared to others - that's why men's suicide rates are higher.' Ppl look at suicide and think 'omg, the loss of life', the truth is just like in the song 'suicide is painless/ it brings on many changes'. Suicide is a way out, a way to get rid of the pain, when the pain does become unbearable. A better way is to look at why that pain came about, where is the source and what caused it. Men commit suicide when they lost the job, because it is what defines them, as a provider and they can't face the unknown of losing it. If you think this is not the case, just last week i was talking to a guy who's marriage ended the moment he lost his job ... she left him for another guy with a job and is getting divorced right now; the one feeling like an abject failure for not being a 'real man' [as she put it] is him. They also commit suicide when they feel that they lost their family in a Divorce. Look at the statistics of both Suicide and Homelesness for both men and women. -'Men want to work for you, it makes them feel strong. My research shows that while a lot of men won't necessarily judge you for sleeping with them on the first date, there's no way they'll have a long-term relationship with you or take you home to meet their mother. - maybe it's me that looks at different, different culture and all that, but i feel a double bind concerning sex. On one hand if i don't show that i think of her as sexy, i'm gonna be put into the 'friends' zone. But on the other hand if i push for it, and she sleeps with me on the first date, i'll wonder if she did this with many others, if she is in the hysterical bonding phase of a rebound ... etc ? - Linda also believes that confidence is the sexiest attribute a woman can posses because a man loves a woman that is 'in touch' with herself and 'doesn't need rescuing'. - well, i don't know about the rescuing part but a woman who is confident in her skin and has that touch of classy femininity ... OMG - 'He doesn't like slutty dresses, nor heels we can't walk in and he absolutely hates desperate women. Oh and by the way, men under 29 only want you for sex.' - Well ... yeah. Yes on the slutty dresses, too high heels ... yes [not as much a full yes as before] and totally yes on desperate women [though this was my drug so for me it's different ... it's not that i don't like them, i now know better to stay away from them]. Also yes, the probability that he wants you for sex, is greater at under 29 than at over 29. - 'They cheat because women don't make him feel like a man and then they shut down. Women try and over feminise their men so they cheat. 'They're not angry at their wives but angry at themselves for letting a woman try and change them,' she said. Maybe in the US/UK. But where i'm at, many men cheat because they can. They are not interested in a relationship, so the chances of leaving their wives for the OW is slim to none, but they either want something different, or they believe they have the right, or that they can, etc ... - 'Men don't value happiness,' she argues. 'They want things to be in order and when there's no problems, they're happy. When they can't handle it, they become selfish and cut themselves off. - Can't speak for all, but in general i've seen that others [as well as I], kinda hate drama. And there is this huge desire for things to run smooth. -'Men are very good at compartmentalisation. They can have their wife and family in one box and their lover in another. Extra-marital sex is a release for men, not a betrayal.' - I would say that there are some ppl who are good at compartimentalization, and they do not make the best partners if they can do this.
hotpotato Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Hmm let's see.. I slept with a man on the first date, and we were together three years. That was atypical, but it doesn't happen sometimes. However, i do agree that men generally want to work for the woman in several ways. I've made the mistake of being too available for men. Men cheat for many reasons, some of which have nothing to do with their spouse. Many men in my age bracket are married, some have been married for several years. Men are blinded by lust, it's their drug. Your evening together could be full of passion and lust and he may tell you you're the greatest girl in the world but I can guarantee he will wake up and find you 50 per cent less attractive in the morning. When a horny man tells me how great I am, I take it with a grain of salt. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Hmm let's see.. I slept with a man on the first date, and we were together three years. That was atypical, but it doesn't happen sometimes. However, i do agree that men generally want to work for the woman in several ways. I've made the mistake of being too available for men. Men cheat for many reasons, some of which have nothing to do with their spouse. Many men in my age bracket are married, some have been married for several years. Men are blinded by lust, it's their drug. Your evening together could be full of passion and lust and he may tell you you're the greatest girl in the world but I can guarantee he will wake up and find you 50 per cent less attractive in the morning. When a horny man tells me how great I am, I take it with a grain of salt. True... And the same holds for a woman who says something to a man like... "OMG, Whew!!.. have never done that with ANYONE before!!" (early sex).. TFY 1
No Limit Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 The author sounds as shallow as the entire topic of "what these and they want".
Author FitChick Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 A friend of mine, Harvard graduate and highly paid, high powered attorney who speaks four languages, is addicted to the Mail. It's how she de-stresses. A lot better than smoking or drinking. I don't have a TV so it's my form of free entertainment. To each their own... 1
todreaminblue Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 i read astrologer and i stopped reading if they had said 50000 women got together for one huge talk and gave perspectives from women on what men want and then said now 50 000 men who are happily married to these women now have their say and one had soemthign liek this to say "hey babe ...guess what i really hated that you didnt listen to me the other night thats why i didnt answer it wasnt because you werent wearing lipstick and interpreting my star sign correctly" then i feel that would have been a cool article......deb
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 People still read the mail? Individuals all of us. Men and women. I was just going to say this too... I dunno where OP is from, but if she's in the US likely she doesn't realise that the newspaper is a total rightwing haterag in the UK, figure of fun at best. Nothing it contains should ever be taken seriously or given any journalistic merit. This is a great site: it takes all of the things that the paper has ran contradicting articles on and categorises them according to whether they claim it causes or cures cancer. You'd be amazed at how many fall into both of these categories according to the wonderful world of the daily fail.
Woggle Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I get the feeling the writers at the DM won't be happy until men and women all hate each other. 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I get the feeling the writers at the DM won't be happy until men and women all hate each other. Bonding only over their collective hatred of immigrants, both those that 'sponge from the state' and those that 'steal' the jobs that 'should be going to British people'. Only then will they be happy.
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