rowi1116 Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 okay, it is friday night. yesterday my BF (of 7mos) told me he had made plans to go meet up with two of his friends (females, one who is married) from his old college. plans dont include me. should i be feeling upset like i am? much advice appreciated. this could be the first time i am ever upset at something in our relationship. what do i say? i havent said anything.
Devildog Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Is his married friend's husband going to be there?
bluechocolate Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Is his married friend's husband going to be there? and do you know these women?
only1life Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 If it bothers you, and you have a good relationship which you think is worth keeping, then you should definitely tell him that it bothers you and try to work something out that is OK with both of you. Does he know it bothers you? And if he won't talk about it and work out something agreeable to both of you, then this should give you an idea of where his priorities are. And where yours should be.
dude x Posted February 15, 2005 Posted February 15, 2005 Definitely Tell Him ALL about it! You don't want to be in a relationship where you hold back your feelings. It makes no difference if its right or wrong cause I don't think there is a right or wrong. All that matters is that it makes you nervous.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 If your b/f is trustworthy and you feel he's faithful then I don't see what the problem is. My bf has two friends from college that are women. They've been through everything together- divorce, babies etc- and they kept him alive after his wife cheated on him. He's never had anything sexual with either of these ladies so how could I be upset about him having dinner with them? Is there something else going on deeper here? If you're just feeling insecure I'd let him know it bothered me, but don't expect him to choose. My bf has been friends with these women for years and years (he's 36) so I would expect that I might lose if I did that.
madcat Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Hey Rowi1116, I feel you have the right be to upset about anything. But of course think about what you're upset about and what you are going to do about it. I think you should tell your BF. Just share your feelings. Keeping them in would only make it worse for yourself -- you might get into a negative spiral (I usually do). Your BF can't read your mind. You may know each other very well, but still, make sure he's not misunderstanding your feelings by telling him exactly what they are. As your BF, he should take into account your feelings. And then both of you can come to a resolution about what you both can do to help each other, help the relationship. Perhaps you're hurt not so much by his plans but that you didn't know about his plans or maybe because you are not included in his plans? Do you feel left out and unimportant? These are issues that need to be dealt with, together with your significant other. Hope it helps. (because I know it's always easier said than done) Take care.
jmargel Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 There's a reason why he didn't want you along. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.
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