johnsonracer Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back."
Matelow Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back." Thats how I think I feel. But I think we both know, deep down, we would like to rekindle something... Go NC mate, at least for a few months.
Haydn Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 You don`t really want the friendship back. You want `them` back. Say it. Admit it then you will go some way to dealing with it. Rejection is horrible but do not be a.......... "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back." 1
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I'm sorry you are hurting. If you say that to her, in all likelihood she will be sad that she is the cause of your pain & she will say that you can be friends again. The reality is you can't. Because despite what you say, you want her back. Any breadcrumbs she throws you under the guise of friendship will delay your recovery. Do you really want to sit on the sidelines & offer her best wishes as a friend would while she moves on with her life? 1
Simon Phoenix Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 i really do want to be friends You want to be friends because you think it's a way back to being her boyfriend. Unfortunately, that's rarely how it works. Are you really capable of seeing her flirting with other guys in front of you, of her talking about guys she likes to you? Would you be happy to hear that she's met someone who she thinks is special? If you can't honestly say yes to either of those, being friends is a horrible idea. 3
Ordinaryday Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 You want to be friends because you think it's a way back to being her boyfriend. Unfortunately, that's rarely how it works. Are you really capable of seeing her flirting with other guys in front of you, of her talking about guys she likes to you? Would you be happy to hear that she's met someone who she thinks is special? If you can't honestly say yes to either of those, being friends is a horrible idea. that is why I advocate complete 100% NC. OF COURSE I would love to hear from the ex, I WANT IT SO MUCH, but any breadcrumbs in the form of "happy birthday" "good luck with your exams" "Hope you are well" and so on would for a moment GET MY HOPES UP that she wants me back... and when I realise she doesn't.... she just wanted to say "hi" and then disappear from my life again.... I would be CRUSHED and FURIOUS at her for toying with my emotions like that. that is why I told my ex in no uncertain terms "Absolutely DO NOT contact me UNLESS it is about getting back together"
ponchsox Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back." You're not ready based on what you said. If a friendship is going to work you cannot make any mention or think about the past. You are starting over, strictly plutonic, with this person. If you mention the past to her she will sense you want to get back and you will be rejected again.
Ordinaryday Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 You're not ready based on what you said. If a friendship is going to work you cannot make any mention or think about the past. You are starting over, strictly plutonic, with this person. If you mention the past to her she will sense you want to get back and you will be rejected again. The OP needs to ask himself questions like: if he was her 'friend' and she rang him to tell him that she met an amazing guy at a club and she really likes him, would the OP genuinely be happy for her and congratulate her genuinely? if she told him that she was getting engaged to a guy and she was so happy and could not wait for her wedding would he genuinely be happy and supportive for her? If she rang him up and asked for dating advice regarding her new boyfriend would be genuinely give her proper advice and not advice to try and sabotage their relationship? could he go to her birthday party and see her kissing her new bf there and the only emotion he would legitimately feel is happiness for her because she has found 'the one'? if the OP answers NO to any of the above scenarios then he is not ready to have a friendship with her.
Natsume21 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back." There are three problems with your logic. 1. You don't see her as a friend. You don't stick your neck out for your friends like this. 2. She doesn't need anymore friends. She just didn't want to be the bad guy and say "I want someone else." 3. She doesn't WANT your friendship. She wants the ego boost. She dumped you to bang someone else. Are you seriously that desperate and "noble" that you would sit there and listen to her talk about her boyfriend and how crappy he is, all the while screaming in your head "WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME THE WAY I DO!" If you have that willpower, kudos, you are capable of doing something no man with pride can do. But your words do not match your true intentions. You're just afraid to be alone and without her. But she isn't afraid to be without you. Take it as a sign that she doesn't want you as ANYTHING, no matter how painful it is, and use that motivation to move forward and find people who do. 1
Always Pondering Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I feel for you OP, I was once in your position if you look at my first thread. The others here are right, you're more than likely not truly ready for "just a friendship". You don't sound like it but rather you sound like me when I thought I truly just wanted a platonic friendship. Deep down inside, you want more than that. I'd understand if you don't want to listen to any of us but at least do one thing which is to stick to NC to overcome your feelings and NOT send that message to her. That close friendship you had is gone and you've got to realize that. Once she feels less guilty about her decision and/or when she has a partner, she'll drop you off completely or talk to you like an acquaintance just to be polite, in more cases than not. You have to let go, and again, don't send her that message. You'll look silly, desperate, and it won't benefit you in the long-run. 3
BC1980 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 i really do want to be friends Of course, you want that. I believe you, but the reality is that it's so rarely possible. Wanting it isn't enough. I would like to be friends with my ex, but that would never work. The reality is no fun, but it's best to accept it.
flitzanu Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 "I miss our friendhsip. ALot. I dont care about us getting back together or whatever. I just want our friendship back. I miss you. The relationshio didnt work out, I dont want that to ruin our friendship. Im sorry for the hurtful things I said . I regret it everyday. I just want our friendship back." so you want to be friends with your ex, and when she tells you how great her sex was last night with this new boyfriend she has, you're gonna high-five her and be like, "AWESOME GIRL, WAY TO GO"?
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