Radu Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Sup guys. I've been lurking on this forum for a few weeks now and decided to join. I lost my girlfriend and I just want to hear your opinions. Me and my girlfriend were together for a year & 3 months. It was the longest relationship for each of us. During this time we had grown so close to each. She is 22 and I am 27. She was good to me and I was definitely good to her. I treated her better than all of my previous girlfriends and she was the best girlfriend I've had so far. Overall our relationship was great. She didn't have any family here so I welcomed her to mine. She liked my family and how strong our bond was and my family liked her too. We spent a lot of time together and had plenty of fun. She always told me about the things that she never did so I did as much of those things as I could with her. We were always acting silly, playful and goofy with each other. We were very loving and affectionate towards each other. I know I was. I was always touching her, grabbing her, smacking her on her ass and kissing on her. She had the softest cheeks. She started to get annoyed because I would always kiss and pinch on her cheeks....hahaha. I always told her how perfect her skin was. I had all types of sweet names for her. I made her feel good, comfort and loved. As with all relationships, we had our issues. I had the "don't care" issues and she had the "attitude & temper" issues. But through it all, we never stayed mad at each for long. After each argument, we always talked face to face or over the phone and were back good. She liked how if we had an argument, I'd come over and talk to her. She said no one ever did that with her. As time went on she told me that she would be moving back to her hometown (4 hours way) after she graduated from cc. She had quit her job a couple months prior and her lease was up the same month. Things between us started to go downhill and it got closer and closer to her departure. We started arguing more and it felt as if we were both giving up on us. Let's see, getting ready to move from this stage in her life so : - quit job - lease is up - what's left ... oh, that pesky little relationship ... then i can be free as a bird We talked many times about her moving away and she felt as if I didn't care. I told her that I didn't want her to move away but I also told her that she has to do whats best for her. It also didn't help that I would sometimes say stupid **** like long distance relationship don't work and crap. I couldn't see it actually happening but that time came. She wanted you to fight more for her, but the truth is that you are right ... Also, just because you could have fought more for her, does not mean that it would have worked out ... it would simply have made her feel ... better. We broke up on May 3 on her graduation day. I picked an argument with her because she didn't call me back that previous night and it spiraled out of control. I went to her graduation but I didn't go with her and her family out to dinner. I told her to spend that time with her family. She got mad and told me I was full of ****. After a bunch of text back and forth, she ended it. "I been done so were done. Bye." We were still texting and I told her that I wanted to talk so I went over her house that night and we talked for a long while. Lovely, graduation done and she's illiterate. I went over her house and kicked it with her the next day. She was going home for a week and wanted to see me but little did I know that would be my last time seeing her. While she was home she started to get more distant. No more good morning & night texts. She hit me many times with "I'll call you back" and never did. She told me that she loved & respected me too much to lose me and wanted to be friends. I told her that I didn't want that and if she couldn't be my girl I didn't want it at all. I gave her my best wishes. After thinking all night I realized my feelings were too strong for her, I went back on my word. The next day I told her exactly how I felt and that I wanted us and not friends. Didn't work. It's a soft break tbh. She felt some guilt over it, and decided to fool herself as 'well, we'll still be friends'. Made her feel better about 'herself' [pls notice the trend]. I then found out that another guy is in the picture. Found this out on Facebook. Looks like this guy's been in the picture for a minute and possibly while we were together. He's much older and turning 39 this year. This is odd because she always said she would never date someone that much older than her. I'm seeing her posting kissy faces on his page & liking all his statuses and he liking all her posts too. There are strong women and then there are weak women. And the weak women [sorry ladies if you are reading this], always need to land on something, always must have something when they exit a relationship. She is what is called a 'serial monogamist'. Technically it's not 'cheating' [and practically too], but in reality she will always leave a relationship only when she has something lined up on her way out. That's because a relationship has a role of making her happy, of being the cake and not the cherry at the top. When I saw this it felt like 1000 razor blades were slicing & dicing through my heart. I asked her who is this guy and if thats her "new boo". She never admitted to anything and said its just somebody that likes her. But, I know bull**** when I see it and hear it. Cut the melodrama please, you're a man afterall. I didn't talk to her for a couple days after that. She then unfriended me on Facebook. I blocked her and the guy. She called me a few hours later and I didn't answer nor returned the call. Awesome, more HS drama and 'feelings'. The next day she texted some pic message with a quote with a message from her saying "have a nice life. ur smart u will do well". I responded 4 hours later with my best wishes. You should have went complete NC then and there. Would have meant she respected you more. With all this going on, I thought she hated me. So I called her a couple days later and told her that I didn't want it to be any bad blood between us. She said that she still loved me and that she will always be a my (sweet name I gave her). She told me that she had came and got the rest of her stuff. I told her that that was ****ed up because I wanted to see her one last time. But, I didn't get that. See the above. During our talks about here moving back home, she said it was only going to be for a few months because she misses her family. She said she was coming back but all of that quickly went out the window. That was just bull**** rationalizing. Maybe it was an option, but when it stopped being one, you were never told and she just acted in her best interest. [awesome trend, is it not ?] She called a couple times to see how I'm doing but I havent talked to her since May 23. I haven't called or texted. She hasn't called or texted. I wasn't perfect and I know I could have done better but I never thought that she would do that to me. I was really good to her. What I don't like is how it seems like she is on top, back with her family, has someone already and isn't thinking about me, while I'm left feeling the bull****. Its been a month since I seen her and I think about her nonstop each day. Too nervous to even call her now. Doesn't feel comfortable anymore. Theres more to it but thats it in a nutshell. She isn't on top, the new guy is temporary, serial monogamist ... remember. When she comes back [and she will], it will be because she needs options. This woman can't be alone, she does not have the mental strength for that and she will abandon you if you make a life together when the going gets tough. For her, a relationship was something to fill up the time, and 'make her happy'. Please notice the egotistical connotation. 1
Author Mistercash Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Today makes 4 weeks NC. It is true that time heals all wounds and I am leaps and bounds ahead of how I felt when all of this was fresh. I no longer beat myself up mentally about what I coulda, woulda, shoulda done better in the relationship anymore. I'm at a point where I don't care about that anymore. I've pretty much accepted the fact that she's gone. Its been almost 2 months since we saw each other. I still think about her everyday and miss her like crazy. It still sucks that she threw me to the curb and decided to move on without me. There is still a piece of me that hopes that she wants to come back and be with me but screw that. I know that with time, that too shall fade away.
Author Mistercash Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) She just called again. I ignored it. I know I'm over thinking but this is the 2nd time she's called on a Monday, almost at the exact same time and I'm sitting in the exact same spot. Not sure what to think of this. Edited June 23, 2014 by Mistercash
Chi townD Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 She just called again. I ignored it. I know I'm over thinking but this is the 2nd time she's called on a Monday, almost at the exact same time and I'm sitting in the exact same spot. Not sure what to think of this. Okay...I'll help you out with that. It's called a coincidence. There's nothing magical or predestined with her calling. There wasn't an old man with a long white beard standing on a rock and proclaiming " IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS THAT AN EX WOULD COME FORTH WITH MULTIPLE PHONECALLS ON A SPECIFIC TIME AND DAY WERE MARS IS ALINED WITH VENUS THAT WILL RESULT IN BUGGING THE HELL OUT OF HER EXBOYFRIEND!" it's just a weird happenstance. 1
Author Mistercash Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 LOL When I saw her number light up across the screen, once again, I started laughing like WTF. I'm assuming she isn't moving on as well as she thought she would be. It obvious I'm still zooming through that brain of hers. She never experienced a guy like me with the type of love that I give. She thought that I would be so easy to let go of. I'm guessing that other turd ain't weighing up.
Purepony Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Trust me if she wants to find you she will she knows where to find you she has your email she can text you she has your address a phone call means nothing unless she comes knocking at your door looking for you begging you to take her back then that's a different story! 1
Author Mistercash Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) Yep, she knows damn near every which way to contact me. I've ignored her on both times she called. I want to talk to her so badly but I know that probably wouldn't be the best thing to do as I don't know what the hell she is calling for. She hasn't left any messages or sent me any texts. Why do I feel like such an ******* for ignoring her? Edited June 23, 2014 by Mistercash
Radu Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Yep, she knows damn near every which way to contact me. I've ignored her on both times she called. I want to talk to her so badly but I know that probably wouldn't be the best thing to do as I don't know what the hell she is calling for. She hasn't left any messages or sent me any texts. Why do I feel like such an ******* for ignoring her? Because you are decent and not a prick, which also means you are fodder for a woman like her unless you keep NC up.
Michael 93 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 My RS was same time as yours Mister Cash so feel a little more inclined to comment on this thread. You should be very proud to say you did not answer both times. Are you still in NC currently? I'm quite torn whether to reply and say please never contact me again I want nothing more to do with you. or just completely ignore it. I don't really know why I'm thinking this far ahead as my ex hasnt tried to contact me but you know, its nice to wish But seriously good courage on holding off and not responding. How are you feeling recently?
Author Mistercash Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 My RS was same time as yours Mister Cash so feel a little more inclined to comment on this thread. You should be very proud to say you did not answer both times. Are you still in NC currently? I'm quite torn whether to reply and say please never contact me again I want nothing more to do with you. or just completely ignore it. I don't really know why I'm thinking this far ahead as my ex hasnt tried to contact me but you know, its nice to wish But seriously good courage on holding off and not responding. How are you feeling recently? Yep. Been a month NC. Almost 2 months since the last time I saw her. I feel much better though. I still dislike how things ended. I still wanted her in my life but she wanted to severe our connection. I've accepted that just have to get over it. I am taking some time to myself. I'm not even focused on dating right now. It may be awhile before I get back into a relationship. I've got some goals I want to accomplish and I've been working on those daily.
Omei Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I dont know if this was said yet.. But don't see your first relationship as a waste of time down the drain, veiw it as a necessary steps in the direction for bigger, longer lasting relationships and it was growth on how to be within a relationship, your next one will be better just you wait. And 1 year? Just wait till your over 5 or going through a divorce then you'll truely get that wasted time feeling, I know it sucks.
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