Glinda.Good Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Why is it happening to you so much though? It doesn't sound like a common occurrence to me. He must be profoundly irresistible! Are you, OP? 2
gaius Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Never assume. Loads of people male and female get a real boost out of someone showing admiration, kindness,giving compliments. It can make a person's day. Cold, callous people can wreck a persons day with their offhand self importance. Some guys take out not getting attention from who they want on those that are unlucky enough to give them attention. =/ If a woman is good enough to let you peacock with a thread like this the very least you can do is return the favor and make her feel a little good. 2
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Seems OP attracts ratchet women. Not in the slightest. I attract a variety. I attract some that I'm interested in as well as those that I'm not, and some of them push up on me, which is a bit irritating.
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Hey OP! I think that most people don't like rejection. Some men can honestly be very scary when they are rejected so I can assure you it's not just a female thing. And I have never been rude to anyone but still have been called names etc for turning someone down politely. 2
Imported Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) Hey OP! I think that most people don't like rejection. Some men can honestly be very scary when they are rejected so I can assure you it's not just a female thing. And I have never been rude to anyone but still have been called names etc for turning someone down politely. Most of the replies to this thread is a good example of what the OP is talking about. If this were a girl reporting how some guys are so rude when she rejects them, it'd be completely different. Guys will be blamed, other guys will agree with the women blaming the men. But since it's a guy talking about nicely telling women he is not interested, he is told he should be honored a girl even approach him and he must be some kinda ass-hole trying to get back at women by rejecting them. That he should spend the next 30 minutes flirting with them, even though he has no interest in them so they feel better. Something like, not exactly I agree, but I am eating my after-workout meal right now and don't want it to get cold. It's like, did I want it built right or did I want it built now? I wanted it built now. Edited June 4, 2014 by Imported 1
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) Most of the replies to this thread is a good example of what the OP is talking about. If this were a girl reporting how some guys are so rude when she rejects them, it'd be completely different. Guys will be blamed, other guys will agree with the women blaming the men. But since it's a guy talking about nicely telling women he is not interested, he is told he should be honored a girl even approach him and he must be some kinda ass-hole trying to get back at women by rejecting them. That he should spend the next 30 minutes flirting with them, even though he has no interest in them so they feel better. Something like, not exactly I agree, but I am eating my after-workout meal right now and don't want it to get cold. It's like, did I want it built right or did I want it built now? I wanted it built now. I didn't say any of that. The op said the woman was rude, I was not there so I have to go off of what he says and assume she was rude. I simply said that I think humans in general can be rude, both sexes. Not sure where the rest of your post comes from??? I simply said guys can be rude as well. I never said he had to worship a woman who was rude to him. Also, don't think that this doesn't occur the opposite way, one thread on here a guy said you have to pay for their date and guys defended him, if a woman told a man he had to pay hell would break loose on here. I don't hate men, I feel there are buttholes of both sexes so don't assume stuff when I post please. Also, I am 5'1 so there is usually a size discrepancy between me and a guy who is pissed I rejected him when I'm out jogging that I am sure OP did not have to worry about on top of the rudeness. That was also sort of my point. I was just saying I relate to what he is saying, but sometimes on top of it I am scared. Edited June 4, 2014 by jbelle6 1
gaius Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Most of the replies to this thread is a good example of what the OP is talking about. If this were a girl reporting how some guys are so rude when she rejects them, it'd be completely different. Guys will be blamed, other guys will agree with the women blaming the men. But since it's a guy talking about nicely telling women he is not interested, he is told he should be honored a girl even approach him and he must be some kinda ass-hole trying to get back at women by rejecting them. That he should spend the next 30 minutes flirting with them, even though he has no interest in them so they feel better. Something like, not exactly I agree, but I am eating my after-workout meal right now and don't want it to get cold. It's like, did I want it built right or did I want it built now? I wanted it built now. Are you confusing a thread about online dating with one about in life encounters? I remember Mamasita posting a thread about some gas station dude she wasn't interested in hitting on her and she gave him a humorous rejection which seemed pretty ideal. Leaving the other person feeling good about the encounter. She didn't get a big puss on her face about it. Part of being a decent human being. 1
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Are you confusing a thread about online dating with one about in life encounters? I remember Mamasita posting a thread about some gas station dude she wasn't interested in hitting on her and she gave him a humorous rejection which seemed pretty ideal. Leaving the other person feeling good about the encounter. She didn't get a big puss on her face about it. Part of being a decent human being. Your point I agree with. If it makes someone feel good I think that's just fun, shooting someone down and making them feel horrible about themselves is pretty horrible. One thing I've learned is that you never know what someone is going through even if they are smiling so if you can make their day why not? 1
Omei Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 All you have to do is smile and say im on my way to meet my GF nice meeting you! If you wanna cut the convo short If they still get pissy then they're just crazy you could have a gf, how would they know? 2
Emilia Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 But I've had a similar cold approach last Saturday at Target when an older dame wanted to know if I worked there, which was a ridiculous question. I wasn't dressed in a red shirt and khakis, so I knew she was hitting on me so I politely told her no and ignored her after that. That same woman says nothing for about a minute while still hanging out in the same aisle before uttering "Men can be so ****ing arrogant," and then she storms past, so I know that remark was meant for me. There's been a few more instances with women on the subway trying to get my attention and me ignoring it because they're just not my type and these same women catching attitude by storming off. Hahahaha are you serious? I think you are reading too much into this, sorry. 4
Stillits Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) For funsies I will provide some anecdotal evidence. I was out with a group of friends when I spot a really cute guy. I first just observe him and his body language, however at no point does he look at me. I don't think he noticed I was there, he didn't seem too aware of his surroundings in general. After some time I decide that he is too damn cute and that I have to atleast try talking to him despite that he hasn't even acknowledged I exist up to this point. So, I go up to him with the excuse of needing a lighter and strike up a conversation. He was an absolute gem and we ended up dating. My time dating him (albeit short due to external circumstances) was valuable to me and would not have happened had I not approached him. If he had not been interested I would soon have caught onto it and just left, saying 'thank you for the lighter' or 'have a fun evening' or whatever. Swearing and calling names because some random stranger is not interested in you is definitely not okay. If you approach you risk rejection and should really have considered this first. Some people just don't check everyone out immediately after entering a room - does that mean they are not interested? No, it means that they might not have noticed you. On the other hand, if I accidentally get eye contact with someone and they immediately look away, that is a pretty good indicator that I should not approach this person. (Same goes for me, although guys don't really understand that). Edited June 4, 2014 by Stillits 1
guest572 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Like omei said. "I'm unavailable, but thanks anyway" done! Next! I wonder if you are really complaining or just boasting in this thread! I would be pretty happy to get offers thrown at me 24/7 as you seem to be.
GravityMan Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 All you have to do is smile and say im on my way to meet my GF nice meeting you! If you wanna cut the convo short If they still get pissy then they're just crazy you could have a gf, how would they know? This. I think the OP could have easily "let them down" in a way such that they wouldn't have gotten pissy with him. It wouldn't have killed him to spend a couple of minutes making friendly small talk with her and her friend to pass the time and make them feel good. Use the GF line if he's in a hurry to get somewhere. He'd probably feel better himself. It doesn't have to lead anywhere nor have a goal. Likewise with his encounter at Target with the older lady. I got the impression that the OP was being a bit aloof towards all those women. A lot of people consider aloof behavior to be rude. The reactions of those women were discourteous, yes. But Shaun-Dro is somewhat culpable himself. His people skills may need refinement. 1
Imported Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) The reactions of those women were discourteous, yes. But Shaun-Dro is somewhat culpable himself. His people skills may need refinement. Lots to most people need better people skills when it comes to this. Three weeks ago I think, I was out with a group of other guys at a restaurant. There were two girls there sitting at the bar (we were at a table). One guy started talking about them and how he wished he could just walk up and get to know one of those girls. All of us started talking him up. Building up his confidence, telling him there is nothing to lose and that he is a cool guy (he is) and he'll never know unless he just goes for it. After a good 20 or 30 minutes of that, he actually goes for it. Walks up to the girl he was interested in, not sure what he said for the girl to turn around and look at him, but...the girl turns, looks him up and down, says "No!" Like she was training a dog and then goes right back to what she was doing and ignores him. We all laughed our asses off. He came back and laughed with us. I know that kinda hurt him (what the girl did), but he is a good natured person and will recover. You think if a group of girls talks their friend up to approach a guy and the guys sizes her up and says "No!" that things will go the same way? I know as a fact (not just saying "no!" and ignoring her, but actually letting her down nice), it does not. Lie and say you have a girlfriend? What if you are not comfortable lying? What if you're in an area where you have interest in other women there, just not the one that comes up to you? Lie, say you have a girlfriend and then she sees you trying to pick up on women you actually want? How about I just tell the truth as nicely as I can? This doesn't work of course, women will still get angry and act butt hurt. Edited June 4, 2014 by Imported
MissBee Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I'm sure it's not "women" or even "black women" but particular personality types. Perhaps the personality types that cold approach men with no indication of any interest on their part are also the type to get very offended and upset...but certainly this isn't a general women or race trait. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Long time ago in my younger days, I was at a bar watching Monday night Football and a woman who thought she was Gods gift to men (why I don't know) staring flirting with me. Now at the time,I was just a newly divorced man and wasn't ready to meet, date or want to be around women because I was still stewing about my really nasty divorce. The woman started flirting and I just ignored her hoping she would just let it alone and move on. She didn't and after she had a few more drinks and started getting bolder and she started being louder and a lot more obnoxious and when I finally told her to leave me alone, Her next words were, "What. Are you gay?" My response to her was, "Well if you the only alternative", and good god almighty I saw her hand bag swinging at me then a beer bottle in her hand. Thank god the bartender was close by and she was given the bums rush out of the bar with her girlfriend and when she wouldn't leave the parking lot, he had to call the cops. Lesson learned, Next time I thought just smile and run.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 But they sure do judge the f*ck out of us guys when WE do the approaching dont they?? They are too damn scared to do it themselves, they have no idea what it takes to do it, they have no idea what to say if they did do it.....but they sure know how to critique us about it! Agreed %100 ! I think many women lack skills during that intial contact phase. They lack random "get to know you" conversation....whereas guys have had to craft that skill all their lives when approaching and getting to know a woman. I've been on many many first dates where the woman just sits there like a bump on a log....initiating very little conversation....almost waiting for me to ask a new question so she can have something to talk about. I've seen many other guys voice the same experiences on here as well. I think majority of women just expect their looks will get them by with most guys, and when that doesnt happen, sometimes they go off. This is why I clash with women so much. Because I dig for substance and connectivity. I dont care how hot a woman is. Or how big her breasts are, or how tight her yoga pants are. If I dont like her personality....she isnt attractive to me. Most guys just turn into chameleons if they like how the woman looks....and say whatever they need to, making sure they get their foot in the door with her instead of being themselves. You make good points, but I've noticed that when women age, they tend to develop a little more social skills, especially on initial contact with a man so your experience mostly applies to the younger dames.
guest572 Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Yeah thats another thing. Dames? What century is this?
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