Els Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Leggings are part of fashion because they are meant to show your butt, that's it. All those yoga pants the women wear were supposed to be workout clothes, but now every girl wears them to show their rear. I don't think I necessarily agree with having sex at 14, but that's besides the point. The point is that attitudes like yours are frankly quite terrible to be pushing on to young girls. No, not all women select their clothes purely to attract male attention. No, not EVERY WOMAN wears leggings or skinny jeans for the sole purpose of showing off their rear to men. You're really not that important. Many women who wear leggings out in public wear a top over them anyway, so the point is moot. Obviously some parental guidance for young kids is necessary (and I agree with Lernaean's last point, excessively low-cut tanks should be out), but posts like these about women make me . IMO bringing a daughter up with this mentality would be even more harmful to her than letting her wear low-cut stuff (which I don't even agree with). 3
Radu Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 My niece is one of those very early and big bloomers. I saw her at a family function when she was 13 and wondered who's date she was, she looked 19. I think this problem is more related to how much it shows, and the age in question.
ASG Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I don't think I necessarily agree with having sex at 14, but that's besides the point. The point is that attitudes like yours are frankly quite terrible to be pushing on to young girls. No, not all women select their clothes purely to attract male attention. No, not EVERY WOMAN wears leggings or skinny jeans for the sole purpose of showing off their rear to men. You're really not that important. Many women who wear leggings out in public wear a top over them anyway, so the point is moot. Obviously some parental guidance for young kids is necessary (and I agree with Lernaean's last point, excessively low-cut tanks should be out), but posts like these about women make me . IMO bringing a daughter up with this mentality would be even more harmful to her than letting her wear low-cut stuff (which I don't even agree with). I agree. I'm not necessarily advocating sex at 14. And to be honest, most kids won't want to have sex at 14 anyway and will wait a couple more years. But it is also NOT the end of the world. The thing about their mind not being developed... Well... That's because, as a society, we're infantilising kids more and more. One or two generations ago, getting married at 20 was normal. Now it's frowned upon, since those "kids" have no business living adult lives, they couldn't possibly know if it's right for them! And that happens in every area. A friend of mine was complaining that 20 somethings are now bringing their parents for job interviews!!!! 1
Baller25 Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I knew that the majority of posts on this would bring up the whole Burka/Hijab issue, even though the OP was only talking about not showing a 12 year olds cleavage . It seems like every time someone tries to bring up some sort of modesty or conservative believe then the hyper liberal gangs just start to exaggerate and bring up the other side..."oh you don't like your gf/bf talking to her ex? That must mean that you don't want your gf/bf to have any friends". If it gets 100F then yeah some guys go shirtless, and of course girls should be wear lighter clothing to cope. The issue is when it's a normal day outside and your 12 year old still insists on wearing the same revealing clothes that she's gotten used to. The way this is handled could dictate a huge part of her life. When you see a 21 year old girl in very revealing clothing, what do you think her mom was like when she was 12?
xxoo Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 The key words in the op to me are cute and tank top and not slutty. Please don't freak out over a tank top. The teen years stretch long before you. Choose your battles wisely. 2
Els Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I knew that the majority of posts on this would bring up the whole Burka/Hijab issue, even though the OP was only talking about not showing a 12 year olds cleavage . It seems like every time someone tries to bring up some sort of modesty or conservative believe then the hyper liberal gangs just start to exaggerate and bring up the other side... It's not really exaggeration when tank tops are more common in Western countries than Muslim women going without a hijab in Muslim countries. Trust me, I've lived in both. 'Appropriate' is relative to culture.
littleplanet Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 ouch. (while extracting thorns) It's not all roses. And fashion is lashin' like a Roman slave-ship tom-tom beat. Part of the problem is what goes along with the clothes. 12 ain't what it used to be. Should it? Sometimes, I wish it were. A kid used to be a comfort zone that gradually shifted into recognizeable maturity. The cosmetics of this slide ever downward. And parents in charge attempt to maintain control. Thus it ever was. I recall daughters in malls......the peer pressure......the missus clueing me in to the fact that this is all put together to impress each other and the "code" hardly paid attention to the cluelessness of male adolescence. But the times dictate the symbolic and iconic. And messages get handed on down. And when kids become sexualized and noticed by elders (it's all money in the bank) it can feel like a losing battle. I used to like it when modesty was a state of mind. Individual and unique. Less tyranny on both sides. Like the "creep factor" we used to discuss in middle school......slowly fading into something else somewhere in high school. But at that time - society gave us all a break. It was a kinder world, then. Clothing does indeed - objectify and fetishize. (But this always had to do with the eye of a beholder.) And as the generations roll by - it's still always about the girls. No-one gives a damn what the boys wear. I sorta learned as my kids grew up. A kid was still a child at 10. At 11.....this shifted ever so subtle. 13 was the Big Kahuna. The youngest teen on the planet. And so on......while adulthood scampered away like a forest rabbit. Until finally they were fast enough to catch up. Always leaning forward.....like a sprinter at the starting line. Never backward. That kiss of death. While the wisdom of elders negotiated terms.....drew perimeter lines around the motion - and kept the train on the rails. I useta love how kids could be sensual without sexual. Sun on skin. Flavor on the tongue. Rhythm and motion. Skinny dipping in the beaver dam pond down at Chippewa creek. (boys only - the girls wouldn't go near it.) Left to our own devices - curiosity came.............slowly. But what does this all have to do with tank tops? Everything and nothing. An individual garment that poses either as an article of necessity, or a declaration of war. In this age of technical miracles and madness, girls now advertise thrills on the net. Toddlers sing lyrics that would have made me blush at 15. Mayhem of our own creation. Pandora tosses the gauntlet. And our youngsters hold up mirrors for us to see ourselves. Sometimes it don't look so pretty. And we do damage control. Keep a lid on it. As best we can.
turnera Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 tomkat, define 'showing cleavage.' And what kind of tank top IS it?
pink_sugar Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Is it just me, or are young girls getting "bustier" these days? Anyways, that still isn't a good reason to tell someone not to wear a tank top.
GorillaTheater Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I don't have any idea what we're talking about here in terms of a "tank top"; all I know is that the idea of one of my daughters displaying cleavage at age 12 is pretty goddamn horrifying. So maybe I'm in the "burqa" camp.
turnera Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Well, there are string tank tops and there are 2-inch-wide tank tops. Big difference. While I still have control over my 12 year old, I would happily provide her the latter, but not the former. I remember picking my 12 year old up from her middle school and watching 12 year old couples humping and shoving their tongues down each others' throats. Doesn't mean I have to give my 12 year old carte blanche to do the same.
loversquarrel Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Her mother has an opinion about it, what about her father??? - If he's in the picture you really don't have any say, if he isn't then try not to be overbearing. Teenage girls can become resentful quite easily to even the most understanding step parent.
janedoe67 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 When I think of a tank top this comes to mind: http://www.protokolo.com/images/P/043-purple-workout-tank-top.jpeg That to me is not a big deal providing it fits and it not loose and gappy or skin tight This on the other hand: http://www.wholesale7.net/images/201303/goods_img/76612_P_1364349067309.jpg Wouldn't be allowed on the body of my 12 year old if I had any say 1
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