mongo Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 to make a long story short, i still have feelings for this girl but we havent spoken in about 7 years. we went to high school together, that was about 15 years ago when i fell in love with her. i told her i had "feelings" for her but nothing ever panned out. 8 years after high school we met up and started talking again. but it was a bad time being we both had just broken up with our significant others...i wanted to talk to her about the feelings i still had but i couldnt, her attention was on her ex so i let it go. i figured it was time to move on. the other night i had a dream about her...ive had them before but this was different. we were together and she returned my affection. it rattled me emotionally. ever since then i have felt compelled to contact her. the past 7 years i told myself that ill never do that again. its pointless because i dont believe she ever felt anything for me. but now i want to see her again. i guess i think that if i told her what i really felt once and for all, that she might give me a chance. things change, people change. so i wrote her a letter with my number on it. i havent mailed it yet because i dont know if i should even bother. i know you have to let go when someone doesnt love you...but for some reason i feel compelled to do it. i cant explain it. is this a totally dumb idea?
David87 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Don't send that letter because it wasn't meant to be. Something similar happened to me. Ten years ago I met a girl we dated for a coupe of months and over the years i fantasized about her. We met one ce a year but we hadn't had the chance to get back together until this year in january. We dated but I came to the conclusion that she isnt what I think she was . And that I wasted so many years fantasising about a girl that hasn't grown up like i did. The conclusion is : You can't like a girl that you use to like 10 years ago because you change . Just my 2 cents.
ja123 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I don't know what you said in the letter, so I can't say whether it's a good idea to send it or not; however, I think it's a good idea to contact her to find out one way or the other. What do you have to lose? P.S. Be careful not to engage in "magical thinking" because you had recent a dream about her. Explore possibilities, but stay grounded.
joeLove Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I believe it is good to have closures in things. If this is something that bothers you, then you need to close on it. However, you need to understand that the outcome might not be what you expect. If the outcome is not what you expected, are you ready to deal with it and move on? Here is how I would proceed. 1. Come to term with the fact that she might not want the same things you want. 2. To avoid big disappointment make sure your expectations are very realistic (lower them, actually). 3. Don't express your feelings in a letter. Just see if you both can meet or talk first ... I have always found it difficult to explain anything in a letters or emails. Meet with her, look her in the eyes, speak to her and see her reaction and go from there. And again, be realistic. 2
David87 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I agree with the above posters. . . Sending this letter will give you some kind of closure .
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Don't send the letter. Do you have any other way of contacting her? If so pick up the phone & ask her to meet you for a coffee. Read her wall on FB or something but don't send a letter.
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