Mr_Miles Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Hey guys, long time reader and first time poster here Basically my story goes (and ill try keep it short and sweet); Met a girl online last September and some how shared this magical connection with her. We spoke and text everyday, talked for hours every day. She declared her love for me around November, and i guess i felt the same. The more we talked, i guess the more i fell in love with her. We decided it would be great to finally meet, so i worked my but my entire Uni holidays to afford a trip to Denmark to see her. We first met in February, and i stayed there with her for a month. I guess you could say it was quite awkward at the airport the first time we met, and there definitely wasnt that 'moment' you would expect... i figured it was jet lag or something. I put a lot of effort into this relationship, and i guess i relied on her quite a bit before i got to meet her (i gave her my all, i thought thats what i was meant to do haha). I gave her all my attention, and basically i was always there when she needed me or wanted to talk, and i guess i became clingy. Fast forward to the end of my trip to Denmark, things just didnt seem to add up. Her stories became mixed and basically i didnt trust what she was telling me. So what did i do? I opened pandoras box and looked through her FB messages. Now that turned out to be a catch 22 situation right there! Im an idiot for doing it, but at the same time im glad i saw what she was getting up to (let it be known that i never saw any definitive signs of 'cheating', just that my suspicions were correct) There were several people on her FB page that i had questioned her in the past. I found out one was an ex... They had dated at around 17 for 4 years (He was an ex, i dont care about that but the lying about it got me concerned). The second person was her mums, boyfriends brother... I dont know why i was suspicious about him, i guess it was just my gut feeling. They had before we met, sent some really sexual things to each other, and the fact she had denied having any feelings for him and saying that it was "disgusting, and he is practically family" and catching her out in a lie once again, well i became so paranoid and i guess a little jelious. As i have heard before, people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.Well she was hiding a lot, whether it was because there was something going on, or not, im not sure, but basically the relationship ended by her breaking up with me because i mentioned a few things i couldnt have possibly know about unless i had read her messages... Things like her catching up with her ex for cheeky wines etc when we were together etc etc. I guess i became even more clingy or whatever after this. So we have been broken up now for around 2 months, and i still cant get this girl out of my head. She tried to communicate with me at the start of the break up, but i wanted to win the break up so at first they were blunt responses, 'hey', 'ive been busy' etc etc. I blocked her off facebook because i knew she would move on quicker than myself (being one of those girls who has never really been single), and i couldnt bare to see her move on before i had fully had the chance to move on. Basically i am still not over this girl. A good friend of mine told me that i was still connected to her because it was a 'Pseudo relationship'. Anyway, even with all the lying or whatever, i just cant stop thinking about this girl. I know its for the best we are over, but i really would love to stop thinking about her 24/7. It was my first 'Love' and i really would like to move on. My studies have been affected this semeseter, exams are in 2 weeks and i honestly think i am going to fail everything. I am a train wreck, and i dont know how or why i have let this happen to me. Any advice or info would be really great, and thanks for taking the time to read my post. Cheers
Snakechammah Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 A relationship without trust is unhealthy. I suggest you take this as 'experience' learnt and apply it to the next relationship. You are young and life does not revolve around an ex - especially one you weren't comfortable in trusting. "One day, someone will walk into your life and show you why it never worked out with anyone else" (a great quote to live by) All the best!
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