todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I normally dont cuddle with just friends i have always had a definitive line with this saves me from really stupid mistakes...mainly sex with guys who are not my partner....and exes who might think they will be again..... so my latest ex wants em to come and stay on the island with him i suggested just a day trip he wants me to stay the night....as friends ......and he said i can have the big bed all to myself he will sleep elsewhere...and then later he said we can just cuddle.......i said ok ill come over...... last night i was pretty out of it though, still out of it......i dont think i should...i would like to just cuddle.......i miss cuddles.......can i have some perspectives on this...i know it seems childish ...i just feel a tad confused in this medicated brain ...he seemed so excited .......and he has been down lately...i just dont know.............deb 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "...confused in this medicated brain..."?!? I think this says it all. Why would you put yourself in harms way especially in the mental state you're in. My perspective is don't do it unless it is something you really want to happen otherwise you'll just confuse yourself and HIM. Just say no.
Author todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 "...confused in this medicated brain..."?!? I think this says it all. Why would you put yourself in harms way especially in the mental state you're in. My perspective is don't do it unless it is something you really want to happen otherwise you'll just confuse yourself and HIM. Just say no. thankyou for your thoughts, i was hoping that might be off medication and more functional.......i feel no is what i have to say it would have been ok as a day trip maybe.......thanks michelle.....deb 1
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 It seems like he is starting you off with something easy to accept (having the bed to yourself) then building it up slowly to the next level. I very much doubt that he will be happy with just cuddling. If he saw you as just a friend then he'd be perfectly happy to take the sofa and wouldn't even have mentioned any more. 2
Art_Critic Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 i miss cuddles....... He knows you miss cuddles too, that is why he suggested it, sounds to me that he is easing his way into getting you nekkid. 2
Els Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Cuddling is a really intimate act, for me. I don't think I could cuddle with a person whom I didn't have romantic feelings for (and vice versa). I guess that's why I've never been a believer in the 'sex is the only difference between platonic friends and a romantic couple' mantra - but that's a derail for another day. If you really think you can separate the act from the emotions then go for it by all means. But otherwise IMO you're just setting yourself up for a lot of hurt later on. EVEN if it does turn out to be 'just' cuddling and no sex. 1
Author todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) thanks for you replies guys and i see your perspectives ....elswyth with th eintimacy ...i dont see it as platonic either......when guy friends ask em for cuddles i do that awkward backslap thing......it doesnt feel right and i shouldnt change......its me ....even if i miss it because i am nto good with seperating once i am intimate..... and i see the easing in thing too started off with a few phone calls then more , then everyday, he sounded down and i escalated that by saying hey do you want me to come over for the day we can go on spend the day together.....he then escalated to a night which i went yeahhhhhh maybe...hmmmm yeah okay....(that was me)..and he rang again today to make sure i was coming...which i didnt say no .....but i changed the subject and got him to talk happily for a while....i am going to not go.....i cant stay over anyway......my mum might need me....her old friend isnt doing so well because of that she is very very sad her old doggie has cancer and is going down pretty quickly...had a dream about it tonight....and i have to be here.... yes to pegnose pete....i felt it odd when he said it straight after even through confusion i felt it... he does live with his mum though.....doesnt matter i am not going .....ill try to make him see the benefit of a day trip in a couple of weeks because my mum really needs me if i should be staying anywhere it is with her......thankyou for your replies...i appreciate them all...and they are all spot on..points....deb Edited June 3, 2014 by todreaminblue
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