jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I can't defend her on the fact that she was hiding her phone, that speaks bad of her, and also she should have showed to OP the texts when he asked at first. About going out of her way not to mention OP, it might be because she didn't want to hurt her ex feelings. I have a friend that used to like me before, and now I have a boyfriend (he knows), and when my boyfriend visits me I feel weird telling him "my boyfriend is here, spending a week with me", and if I can I avoid telling him, just because I don't want to hurt his feelings in case he still feels something and because it simply makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it is the same to her. He's not a 2 year old I assume? So, say OP's name is Dave. Why couldn't she say, me and Dave went to a BBQ? She doesn't have to keep saying "boyfriend". And if she's with someone new, he's gonna have to get used to that. But hey, I'm of the opinion that I don't text with ANYONE if I am on a date or enjoying someone's company. I think it's rude to ignore a cashier to text so a romantic partner is a huge no no to me. Plus, I am in the camp who thinks stuff was deleted that OP did not get to see. 3
writergal Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Polite to her ex-boyfriend? Come again? Polite is having good manners. Being courteous. Showing consideration for others. She was anything but polite to the OP. (Who cares about her ex-boyfriend. He's a cad.) She deliberately hid her text-with-her-ex-a-thon from the OP because she craves the attention from her ex, and as she posted here, clearly *not* remorseful about that fact. When the OP sensibly asked her to own up to her shady behavior, she deflected the blame to him, and tried to make him feel bad for asking her to show him some respect and talk out the situation. It's quite obvious if the OP continues to date this young woman he's in for misery and heartbreak. I agree with the last bit. With being polite I meant she was being polite to the ex boyfriend, a person that was writing to her and that at some point was important in her life. I hadn't read that she spent all the day writing on her phone, I thought it had been just that moment on the sofa. I hate when I'm with someone and they spend most of the time looking at their phones, but if it is just a moment when we are not talking then it's okay. I just feel like it's not all black, I do see suspicious and bad things in her behaviour but I don't believe that she is indeed bad and going to give him problems if they stay together, it might or it might not... I don't think this is a deal-breaker, still it is a warning sign, and OP has to be watchful if he forgives her. 3
Trufita Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Well ThatMan, in the way you are replying to what I said it doesn't seem like you have a master degree in politeness either. You are answering that way because you are shocked and you disagree and whatever, just as she answered sarcastically to a group of people who were saying bad things about her without giving her any chance of doubt. I don't think it is such a crazy reaction of hers, if you feel insulted by her sarcastic thank you, how would you feel if you were judged like that by so many strangers? Anyway, I'm not going to keep posting about this because life is too short and she is not my best friend nor anything to be spending more time on this. I said my opinion in case the OP wants to read it and that's it. 1
marcjb Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 What are you talking about? Politeness? She wasn't even polite to her ex. She horribly lied to a man who supposedly went out of his way to help her in the past, deceived him about her current life, where she is, and what she is doing. Being polite would entail actually putting aside a few minutes to speak with him at a more appropriate time. I don't know about you but I actually make the time to talk with my friends. People deserve that kind of respect, especially enough respect to not be lied to like this. Yes, she's an incredibly screwed up person and I would not associate myself with a woman like her, ever. Neither would any of my current friends. She's manipulative, passive-aggressive, and mean-spirited. She essentially went and gaslighted her boyfriend of six weeks, flipped the situation on him, and then went ahead with this asinine public display. She ought to be ashamed of herself. Just look at her passive-aggressive responses here. I don't know how many of you would turn your back on people who helped you massively in the past, but I won't. Implying that she has far more integrity than everybody else here, and that we're the problem, not her. Nevermind how she lied to this man who previously helped her. I did not meant to disrespect EdG in any way. Because she doesn't value respect the same way as a normal person. Kind of hard to apologize if you continue to blame other people for your own bad behavior. Thank you guys, you helped a lot. ;) See? She is an impolite, disrespectful little girl who ought to be horribly embarrassed of herself. You call THAT being polite? What the ****, Trufita? She blames other people for her own poor choices. That has nothing to do with politeness. Negative people like her need to be avoided altogether. Exactly, great post. 1
ThatMan Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Whatever, Trufita. I was talking how she was impolite to her ex, not us. I referred to her manipulative behaviors, her repeated choice to blame other people for her own actions, and how nobody ever needs to tolerate any of it. She made the choice to be incredibly disrespectful to both her ex and boyfriend at the same time. Strangers had nothing to do with any of that, and if you feel the need to actually blame strangers on the internet for a decision she made long before hunting down EdG on this forum, then I suspect the admins need to do an IP test for your account. Your account won't correspond with with her earlier responses, right? 3
Trufita Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Whatever, Trufita. I was talking how she was impolite to her ex, not us. I referred to her manipulative behaviors, her repeated choice to blame other people for her own actions, and how nobody ever needs to tolerate any of it. She made the choice to be incredibly disrespectful to both her ex and boyfriend at the same time. Strangers had nothing to do with any of that, and if you feel the need to actually blame strangers on the internet for a decision she made long before hunting down EdG on this forum, then I suspect the admins need to do an IP test for your account. Your account won't correspond with with her earlier responses, right? OMG. Please ask the admins, I beg you.
ThatMan Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) I mean it's not everyday that a woman becomes incredibly creepy and hunts down her boyfriend who was asking for help just so she can humiliate him. People can claim anything on the internet, and we can ask ourselves questions like these all the time, but both you and the situation are very suspicious. Edited June 4, 2014 by ThatMan 3
michellew Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Strangers had nothing to do with any of that, and if you feel the need to actually blame strangers on the internet for a decision she made long before hunting down EdG on this forum, then I suspect the admins need to do an IP test for your account. Your account won't correspond with with her earlier responses, right? Where exactly does Trufita blame strangers for anything? Calm down and allow others to voice their opinions and offer their advice, which is what EdG asked for in the first place. 2
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Speaking of EdG...EdG where are you? Lol Good question, wonder what happened after all that. I was just thinking today if anyone ever found someone on here, then literally an hour after shtf lol. 1
michellew Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Good question, wonder what happened after all that. I was just thinking today if anyone ever found someone on here, then literally an hour after shtf lol. $5 says they're having make-up sex, but won't make it through the weekend. lol
Author EdG Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Thank you everyone for investing time writing posts. I appreciate it. The discussion has now surpassed what I intended it to. I posted on here simply to get a broader perspective and to help me work through my thoughts. I didn't intend Kat to see and read this post. 'Kat' and I are not together right now. The primary reasons for this is: 1. I felt what she did was disrespectful to me and raised Red flag about her intentions and our time together 2. We've been unable to talk and work things through in a healthy and affective way as our opinions/ values on it differ and we can't find a compromise, meaning I've been unable to address any concerns I had Whilst I appreciate your posts (and continue to read them) I have stopped posting as I don't wish to publicly humiliate myself, or Kat. It's not warranted. Whilst I feel what Kat did was wrong (for me!) it wasn't the crime of the century. Only she know exactly what her intentions were. Whilst I ended things because of the Red flags her actions raised, I also don't believe she did anything to intentionally hurt me, and I also believe that she did like me. Kat knows I use this forum, so in fairness it wouldn't have been difficult for her to find it. She's not creppy, or crazy. I think it's important to remember that whilst I am not happy with what's happened and hence ended the relationship, that actually what happened isn't the crime of the century and this is a girl who showed some amazing qualities and did some pretty cool things for me during our time together. Thanks again for your posts. 4
writergal Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Good luck with everything EdG. Thank you everyone for investing time writing posts. I appreciate it. The discussion has now surpassed what I intended it to. I posted on here simply to get a broader perspective and to help me work through my thoughts. I didn't intend Kat to see and read this post. 'Kat' and I are not together right now. The primary reasons for this is: 1. I felt what she did was disrespectful to me and raised Red flag about her intentions and our time together 2. We've been unable to talk and work things through in a healthy and affective way as our opinions/ values on it differ and we can't find a compromise, meaning I've been unable to address any concerns I had Whilst I appreciate your posts (and continue to read them) I have stopped posting as I don't wish to publicly humiliate myself, or Kat. It's not warranted. Whilst I feel what Kat did was wrong (for me!) it wasn't the crime of the century. Only she know exactly what her intentions were. Whilst I ended things because of the Red flags her actions raised, I also don't believe she did anything to intentionally hurt me, and I also believe that she did like me. Kat knows I use this forum, so in fairness it wouldn't have been difficult for her to find it. She's not creppy, or crazy. I think it's important to remember that whilst I am not happy with what's happened and hence ended the relationship, that actually what happened isn't the crime of the century and this is a girl who showed some amazing qualities and did some pretty cool things for me during our time together. Thanks again for your posts.
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 But hey, I'm of the opinion that I don't text with ANYONE if I am on a date or enjoying someone's company. I think it's rude to ignore a cashier to text so a romantic partner is a huge no no to me. Plus, I am in the camp who thinks stuff was deleted that OP did not get to see. I agree. Barring a quick 'it's going well/not well' to my best mate while the guy is in the toilet, the phone stays away during the date. Once you been dating for a few months that often relaxes and you feel able to reply to texts while around one another but I'd still never sit and have a huge text string convo while with my boyfriend unless the subject was serious and needed my immediate attention (and no, don't say 'if it's that serious you'd make a phone call, as that isn't always appropriate!). And in that instance I'd be saying 'sorry baby, Jen's just had some bad news and is explaining it to me' or whatever it is. I put my phone away when I am being served by the cashier at the store, because it's rude to ignore people. I would be majorly pissed off if a guy I was dating was treating me with less courtesy than that, especially if it was to a former sexual partner!
me85 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 She wants a buffet where there's all you can eat cake. Awesome quote!
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