writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "Attention LoveShack shoppers, we have a pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Bluelight special on dates who lie and rationalize, aisle 4." I will probably be attacked for this, but am I the only one (besides Kat) who thinks that OP DID make a mountain out of a molehill and now ruined what could have been a good thing? Family, friends, and Exes are going to text and if you are together for ENTIRE weekends, chances are it'll happen when you're together and you are going to see it. If she had something to hide or something was going on, I doubt she would have replied at all AND she wouldn't be with you during that time, she'd be with the ex. She would be more cautious with her phone and wouldn't have it out at all if something was going on. She'd have him saved under a females name so you wouldn't know it was the ex when he texts. She'd basically do anything NOT to look suspicious. Yes, it's rude to text while in someone else's presence, but if you're spending that much time together, you've probably reached a point in the relationship when it's okay to check your phone, Facebook, Words with Friends game, or what ever form of social media you're into while together. I'm sure OP does it too. She said it wouldn't happen again and learned that it bothered you. You should have left it at that and seen where it went from there. She did listen to your needs, but you brought it up again, coming off as jealous, insecure, and controlling. Sorry OP, I'd be irritated too at this point. 4
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I heard she was quicker than the Titanic. ba dum tssss. This is going down faster than Monica Lewinsky. 3
me85 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "Attention LoveShack shoppers, we have a pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Bluelight special on dates who lie and rationalize, aisle 4." Bahahahahaha! You're awesome. 2
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Bahahahahaha! You're awesome. 2
2sunny Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I know she's into me, I know that. I have enough relationship experience to know. However, I know she also like the attention she gets. Massive disrespect that she'd be texting while with me (at different points during the day!). It is very early days though, and really it could be said we weren't in a relationship yet as hadn't been made 'official' if you see what I am trying to say. I don't want to be monitoring anything, I see what you're saying. She did deflect blame on me to a certain extent. Although she also said she appreciated why I was upset, etc. But next day she said I made a big deal out of it. I am a nice guy, perhaps she's taking the piss, but I tell you what, although I am nice, I am not the type to be walked over and taken for a mug. The first sentence in each of the first and second paragraphs contradict each other. She's isn't SO into you that she gives up disrespecting you. And she didn't willingly tell her ex that she was with you. She seems to need extra attention and validation - other than what she gets from you. Some people - need more than what 100 people might provide - she might be one of those types. They don't stay faithful by honoring you. What's your plan? 3
2sunny Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Thank you guys, you helped a lot. ;) Oh wow. Did you learn that participating the way you did caused hurt feelings by disrespecting Ed - and giving the ex the idea that you were alone is one way of lying and covering up? Why not say "I'm busy with my boyfriend and stop texting me"...? 2
michellew Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "Attention LoveShack shoppers, we have a pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Pot calling the kettle black in aisle 5. Bluelight special on dates who lie and rationalize, aisle 4." I knew I'd be attacked. Congrats to you for being the first to show disrespect for my opposing opinion (which OP asked for). If you're referring to a pot who has been wrongfully accused of something someone overanalyzed and made up in his head, then yes, I'm that pot calling the kettle black. OP knows there are two sides to this and has been struggling. Just trying to play devil's advocate here.
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Anyone who spends more time texting exes on their phone than paying attention to the one they're with is NOT relationship material. They should date their smartphone instead of another person. I knew I'd be attacked. Congrats to you for being the first to show disrespect for my opposing opinion (which OP asked for). If you're referring to a pot who has been wrongfully accused of something someone overanalyzed and made up in his head, then yes, I'm that pot calling the kettle black. OP knows there are two sides to this and has been struggling. Just trying to play devil's advocate here. 4
michellew Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 They've been dating for six WEEKS. Getting 'serious' for only the last two. Not hanging out on each others' couches many weekends for several months. EXACTLY...Six weeks. And he's already peeking over at her phone to see who she's texting. They both dodged a bullet if you ask me.
marcjb Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Oh wow. Did you learn that participating the way you did caused hurt feelings by disrespecting Ed - and giving the ex the idea that you were alone is one way of lying and covering up? Why not say "I'm busy with my boyfriend and stop texting me"...? She wants a buffet where there's all you can eat cake. 1
Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 EXACTLY...Six weeks. And he's already peeking over at her phone to see who she's texting. They both dodged a bullet if you ask me. I'm pretty sure he mentioned he noticed how she was intentionally trying to keep the phone out of his view. Now... maybe its because I watched a lot of cartoons as a kid, but I personally assume when some one has their hands behind their back, they are holding something they don't want me to see. 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 EXACTLY...Six weeks. And he's already peeking over at her phone to see who she's texting. They both dodged a bullet if you ask me. He doesn't have to peek if she's so blatantly being rude. If she's got better things to do, she should excuse herself and go home. 1
HappyLove Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Isn't the previous situation moot anyways once Kat stalked OP & responded to his thread? Am I the only one hearing scary music in the background right now? 3
LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 6 weeks? still talking to her ex ? constantly... I might add she will play you sooner or later... trust me on this. wonder why she waited to show you the messages? cuz she deleted a bunch of her replies to him, then showed you the most innocent ones, that's why. drop her. 2
2sunny Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I will probably be attacked for this, but am I the only one (besides Kat) who thinks that OP DID make a mountain out of a molehill and now ruined what could have been a good thing? Family, friends, and Exes are going to text and if you are together for ENTIRE weekends, chances are it'll happen when you're together and you are going to see it. If she had something to hide or something was going on, I doubt she would have replied at all AND she wouldn't be with you during that time, she'd be with the ex. She would be more cautious with her phone and wouldn't have it out at all if something was going on. She'd have him saved under a females name so you wouldn't know it was the ex when he texts. She'd basically do anything NOT to look suspicious. Yes, it's rude to text while in someone else's presence, but if you're spending that much time together, you've probably reached a point in the relationship when it's okay to check your phone, Facebook, Words with Friends game, or what ever form of social media you're into while together. I'm sure OP does it too. She said it wouldn't happen again and learned that it bothered you. You should have left it at that and seen where it went from there. She did listen to your needs, but you brought it up again, coming off as jealous, insecure, and controlling. Sorry OP, I'd be irritated too at this point. Checking your phone is MUCH different than texting an old boyfriend and pretending like you're not with someone - she was attempting to create an illusion that she was alone by leaving out KEY information! Like that she was currently WITH Ed and was being completely RUDE by ignoring who was in front of her - she CHOSE to spend TIME and ENERGY focused on her ex while Ed was right in front of her. That is RUDE and certainly wouldn't make any man feel he is TOP priority! IF ED was a priority - she wouldn't have participated the way she did. 2
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 To some of the girls defending this. If you're texting with a guy who has put his p in your v when you are at your man's house, that's a slap in the face. I can't think of something more disrespectful to a man than that. It's actually disrespectful to text anyone when sharing time with another person. She hid the phone so she knew it was wrong, she also made a point of NOT telling the ex she had/was with her man. Then she deflected it all on him when he rightfully called her out on it. And no, after just 6 weeks especially, I would not be Facebooking or checking my phone, I could think of much more entertaining things we could be doing with our time. If I am into a man, you could text me that my house is on fire and I won't respond, so no OP, she wasn't that into you, not as into you as you deserve. And psycho is psycho, coming on here like that. She cray. 1
Trufita Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I have exes that are now friends and still text here and there. I treat them as friends and am not going to ignore them when I'm with someone I'm only dating IF I don't also ignore my friends. However, my exes that are now friends don't generally say they miss me and if they did I'd put an end to the conversation and friendship if I was really into the guy I'm dating. If We were exclusive at the time, I'd say something like "I'm seeing someone now. Not fair for us to be friends if you are missing me." Were you exclusive when she got these texts? On another note... I've recently been that pathetic ex that texts my ex, starting with friendly small talk and then telling him I miss him. He replies to my small talk and ignores the "I miss yous" or changes the subject. He's clearly not interested anymore and I've got the hint. I'm sure he's only replying out of kindness. If he was with a girl when I texted these things, I don't think he'd tell me out of fear of hurting my feelings. Just something else to think about. She could just be nice to him out of pity or guilt. Maybe he'll get the hint soon too. If she knows how you feel now, she should put an end to the texting. If she doesn't, move on. I completely agree with this post. Just because she was answering his texts doesn't mean she doesn't like you or doesn't respect you. She was just being polite. Everything would change if she was texting him "I miss you" too and being lovey to him.
jbelle6 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I completely agree with this post. Just because she was answering his texts doesn't mean she doesn't like you or doesn't respect you. She was just being polite. Everything would change if she was texting him "I miss you" too and being lovey to him. I'd buy this if she weren't hiding her phone and if she didn't go out of her way to NOT mention her CURRENT boyfriend. 2
2sunny Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I completely agree with this post. Just because she was answering his texts doesn't mean she doesn't like you or doesn't respect you. She was just being polite. Everything would change if she was texting him "I miss you" too and being lovey to him. She wasn't being polite- she was being rude. It sent up a red flag and hurt his feelings. Nothing about the way she participated was polite. She only offered to let him looks at her texts after he took a shower - which gave her plenty of time to delete what she wanted. 3
Trufita Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I'd buy this if she weren't hiding her phone and if she didn't go out of her way to NOT mention her CURRENT boyfriend. I can't defend her on the fact that she was hiding her phone, that speaks bad of her, and also she should have showed to OP the texts when he asked at first. About going out of her way not to mention OP, it might be because she didn't want to hurt her ex feelings. I have a friend that used to like me before, and now I have a boyfriend (he knows), and when my boyfriend visits me I feel weird telling him "my boyfriend is here, spending a week with me", and if I can I avoid telling him, just because I don't want to hurt his feelings in case he still feels something and because it simply makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it is the same to her.
Trufita Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) She wasn't being polite- she was being rude. It sent up a red flag and hurt his feelings. Nothing about the way she participated was polite. She only offered to let him looks at her texts after he took a shower - which gave her plenty of time to delete what she wanted. I agree with the last bit. With being polite I meant she was being polite to the ex boyfriend, a person that was writing to her and that at some point was important in her life. I hadn't read that she spent all the day writing on her phone, I thought it had been just that moment on the sofa. I hate when I'm with someone and they spend most of the time looking at their phones, but if it is just a moment when we are not talking then it's okay. I just feel like it's not all black, I do see suspicious and bad things in her behaviour but I don't believe that she is indeed bad and going to give him problems if they stay together, it might or it might not... I don't think this is a deal-breaker, still it is a warning sign, and OP has to be watchful if he forgives her. Edited June 4, 2014 by Trufita 1
ThatMan Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) What are you talking about? Politeness? She wasn't even polite to her ex. She horribly lied to a man who supposedly went out of his way to help her in the past, deceived him about her current life, where she is, and what she is doing. Being polite would entail actually putting aside a few minutes to speak with him at a more appropriate time. I don't know about you but I actually make the time to talk with my friends. People deserve that kind of respect, especially enough respect to not be lied to like this. Yes, she's an incredibly screwed up person and I would not associate myself with a woman like her, ever. Neither would any of my current friends. She's manipulative, passive-aggressive, and mean-spirited. She essentially went and gaslighted her boyfriend of six weeks, flipped the situation on him, and then went ahead with this asinine public display. She ought to be ashamed of herself. Just look at her passive-aggressive responses here. I don't know how many of you would turn your back on people who helped you massively in the past, but I won't. Implying that she has far more integrity than everybody else here, and that we're the problem, not her. Nevermind how she lied to this man who previously helped her. I did not meant to disrespect EdG in any way. Because she doesn't value respect the same way as a normal person. Kind of hard to apologize if you continue to blame other people for your own bad behavior. Thank you guys, you helped a lot. ;) See? She is an impolite, disrespectful little girl who ought to be horribly embarrassed of herself. You call THAT being polite? What the ****, Trufita? She blames other people for her own poor choices. That has nothing to do with politeness. Negative people like her need to be avoided altogether. Edited June 4, 2014 by ThatMan 4
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