It just gets worse and worse...

[hardtohandlethis]

So I've posted here for a while but it just turns worse and worse.

 

I've liked a girl since October. She's great but she doesn't feel the same for me. I haven't asked her but I'm certain from the way she behaves with me. When we started to hang out we did so with a mutual male friend. I got jealous of him because he's an extrovert and talkative. Everybody likes him... The worst thing imaginable for me was that they got into a relationship. I have no right to tell him who to be with. But I told him how I felt for her and he told me he didn't like her that way. I then asked him to tell me if he ever developed feelings for her. He said he would.

 

So a few weeks ago I just started getting the feeling he was more intimate with her than before. But he is like that with everyone I thought to myself. And he would tell me if he liked her. About a week ago a friend of his and me, who knew the girl I like since before we even started this school was talking with me. This is out of context and she wasn't serious when she said it but she said "[Mutual friend name] and [Crush name] are going on a date.". As I said that was out of context, she didn't think they were. But I'm **** at hiding my feelings so she noticed something was wrong. She called me later that day to ask me if I liked this girl. I told her I did. She then told me it must be hard when a friend likes the same person. I asked her what she meant. She told me that the friend who had promised to tell me if he ever got feelings for this girl had asked earlier that week what she liked to do. So he had the intention of hitting on her without telling me.

 

I'm "fine" with him wanting to be with her and all. I mean, I definitely don't want them to get together but I know that it's not for me to say. So I asked him sincerely if he had any feelings for her. He said he had "a slight interest" and had noticed a week prior. I'm really really pissed at him. I mean, he did wrong not to tell me but I'm putting too much blame on him because I need someone to be angry at. I know this yet I'm still as angry at him... I told him I wasn't comfortable hanging out all three of us like we had been doing since January. We had planned to do something last Friday but I said I had too much school work. He ate dinner at her place instead. He insisted he did it as friends. He also told me she had noticed I've been quiet/down, he had lied and said he didn't know why.

 

I just don't know what to do now. I want to tell her but I'm changing classes next year for unrelated reasons, and the class I'm changing to is hers. I already know a few people from there but they're in her friend gang. So if I told her how I felt now it could very well get awkward. I don't like keeping it all behind her back, but the only way of not doing that is to tell her the truth. Or at least my truth.

I could also not tell her and stay friends without any awkwardness. But it's so hard, especially whilst my friend still likes her. We don't know what she feels for him yet. I do know however that if they get into a relationship I'm going to feel extremely bad. I've only liked one person before her in my life, it was four years ago so I was young. But even if I had liked this girl for one month and even if I was young I got really down for a whole month when my friend got together with her. I could only imagine how **** I'd feel if that happened again...

 

I want to get over her but it's just so so so so so hard. I've tried avoiding her but it just makes me feel bad, my interest is still there. The fact that my friend is now trying to hit on her only puts fuel into the fire...

 

I've tried getting a meeting with the school counselor but she's very busy. It's only a week left in school. I'm trying to make it work but if I do it'll be one meeting the day before school ends.

[Scrab22]

Your friend is simply selfish. He cares first about his interest than about yours, so he's not a true friend here.

Why do you want to be in a relationship with your crush? What makes you crush on her? The reason I'm asking this is that I think telling her how you feel about her might get your friend in a tackle with you. Moreover, to see how much it's worth the time trying to be with her.

[hardtohandlethis]

Your friend is simply selfish. He cares first about his interest than about yours, so he's not a true friend here.

Why do you want to be in a relationship with your crush? What makes you crush on her? The reason I'm asking this is that I think telling her how you feel about her might get your friend in a tackle with you. Moreover, to see how much it's worth the time trying to be with her.

 

I can't explain it. I don't get how you explain why you like someone. I could mention things like, she is funny, she's a good singer, she's cute but honestly... Just because someone has those traits doesn't mean I just like the person. She is just... great. But it doesn't matter because she doesn't feel the same. I am still considering telling her though. It might make the next term awfully awkward but the idea of telling her just feels desirable in my head. Like it'll give some relief. But I'm not sure, the consequences of telling her are pretty big. :/

[DArtagnan2]

Your friend is simply selfish. He cares first about his interest than about yours, so he's not a true friend here.

Why do you want to be in a relationship with your crush? What makes you crush on her? The reason I'm asking this is that I think telling her how you feel about her might get your friend in a tackle with you. Moreover, to see how much it's worth the time trying to be with her.

 

he's no friend. Regardless, a real friend wouldn't try to get with this girl. I mean, if she approached him after awhile of hanging out and expressed interest, my response may be different, although I think he should still talk to you about it. But for him to pursue her and try to get her to like him, that isn't really a friend, dude.

 

I believe you are justified in being mad at your friend. Many people seem to not respect any boundaries anymore. Its really egging me. Anyway, you may want to find a new friend.

 

As for your class with her next semester. I can understand your feelings, but my only advice would be to not cower. She has no idea you have feelings for her. I would still be who you are and treat her has you always have. You have no idea of her likes or dislikes when it comes to guys and she may kind of like your "friend", but that doesn't mean its going to be a relationship for forever. Your "friend" appears to move on quickly anyway and with summer coming, it could be something very short lived, from either of them.

 

Dude, this could be a changing point for you. Meaning, instead of isolating yourself, get out there more. make new friends. Build your confidence and your own "appeal" to others so you don't feel this way again. So maybe, next time, you make a move and ask out the girl you like and not stand by waiting for something to come to you.

 

regardless, your "friend" is selfish and no real friend.