jalfy Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I don't understand why he hates me so much. Yes I didn't give him space, yes I went to his house wanting to talk to him even though he didn't want to talk to me. But I just wanted answers. I wanted to reconcile with him. I don't want things to be ugly. I did all these with good intentions. Yet, he brutally severed all ties with me. Doesn't even want friendship, ever. He put me down, saying I was disgusting, disrespectful and wasting his time wanting to talk. All because I didn't give him space. Now I'm left with a big hole in my heart. Torn apart. Devastated. Hurt. All the rage and hatred inside me telling me that he's a jerk, that he doesn't deserve my affections. Yet all the sentimental memories, the love for him is holding me back from truly letting go. I will never understand why.
learning_slowly Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Break ups are rarely agreed upon. You can't see his side and he had already moved on and doesn't care enough to see your side, or he thinks it will be better for you in the long term to have less contact. Either way, he doesn't want contact and therefore why would uou want contact with him? Look on the plus side, he could have figured this out when you had children. You have a chance to move on and enjoy your life, hopefully with somebody that appreciates you. If you are really heart broken and need something to take your mind off it, remember your interests as a child and try one. It will get easier, and in time, you'll wonder what you ever saw in him .
lovehurtsme91 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I'm sorry to hear about what he said to you. For someone who is becoming a pastor, it is rather shocking in my perspective. One thing I realize is the whys, the whats, the hows are something we would probably never understand and asking them would just hurt us more. I understand fully that you need some kind of closure to why this all happened but no answer from him would satisfy you. Going through NC would probably do you some good for now. What I do to try to cheer me up is listen to Praise songs. Dance it out if you like to. And if you just have your lows, cry it out - cry it all out. As much as it is tough at that low point, try to focus and believe that God has already written an ending for you. You might not see it now, but it will come. Just cry it out if you have to. 1
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