I am feeling stupid, was he honest?

[ThisISNTforme]

Fisrt off: I am 23 and have had only one other boyfriend, he was long term but we ended things when I was 20 because he had to go to Canada. I am american, but won't go onto detail because I am a little afraid of that this can be googled and found by the person I will talk about in here, my most recent ex. I will also change a little some facts and write the story as shortly as I can. I will get any advice you gave me. I have been feeling lonely about this and very confused, and since I haven't treated with many guys this is confusing me and I don't know if somehow I was the one to fail in "how to love". I will be thankful for any input you give me.

We were on a relationship for about 10 months, and it was really good at first... Eventually, we started having some issues because he will still be coping with some feelings he had towards his ex (apparently he wasn't over her, but he broke up with her. I knew this all of the time and he had a lot of time apart from her when we met). He started feeling like I was annoying and I started feeling like he was not trust worthy. The first relationship I had was a healthy one, and even when my ex never treated me poorly, some things felt different.

This issues with the ex and him becoming distant and me paranoid lead to me breaking up with him. A few months down the line he contacted me to apologize. He told me I was a beautiful person but that he couldn't be the man I deserved. I wanted to know why he was telling me this... It was nonsense.

Then he confessed to me that after our break up he slept with his ex (the one we had issues about when we were together).

I asked him if he tried to get back together with her and he said that he didn't, that it was only casual.

 

I took him back as he seemed honest and as we really didn't had any other issues, and I trusted him on that it was casual stuff. A month after our reconciliation he told me that even when he cared for me a lot and thought he was making the biggest mistake of his life he wanted to break up.

He even told me that maybe I was the love of his life but that we didn't do it right the first time and that it was just too late, and a bad timing.

 

He tried to be friends but I refused.

 

And he even gave me the "you deserve way better" line.

Do you think he was sincere?

Do you think he fell out of interest?

Was he feeling guilty for the thing with the ex?

Was he not over her? He has a new gf nowadays and I have been dating, but seem to be overly worried with this.

[flitzanu]

Fisrt off: I am 23 and have had only one other boyfriend, he was long term but we ended things when I was 20 because he had to go to Canada. I am american, but won't go onto detail because I am a little afraid of that this can be googled and found by the person I will talk about in here, my most recent ex. I will also change a little some facts and write the story as shortly as I can. I will get any advice you gave me. I have been feeling lonely about this and very confused, and since I haven't treated with many guys this is confusing me and I don't know if somehow I was the one to fail in "how to love". I will be thankful for any input you give me.

We were on a relationship for about 10 months, and it was really good at first... Eventually, we started having some issues because he will still be coping with some feelings he had towards his ex (apparently he wasn't over her, but he broke up with her. I knew this all of the time and he had a lot of time apart from her when we met). He started feeling like I was annoying and I started feeling like he was not trust worthy. The first relationship I had was a healthy one, and even when my ex never treated me poorly, some things felt different.

This issues with the ex and him becoming distant and me paranoid lead to me breaking up with him. A few months down the line he contacted me to apologize. He told me I was a beautiful person but that he couldn't be the man I deserved. I wanted to know why he was telling me this... It was nonsense.

Then he confessed to me that after our break up he slept with his ex (the one we had issues about when we were together).

I asked him if he tried to get back together with her and he said that he didn't, that it was only casual.

 

I took him back as he seemed honest and as we really didn't had any other issues, and I trusted him on that it was casual stuff. A month after our reconciliation he told me that even when he cared for me a lot and thought he was making the biggest mistake of his life he wanted to break up.

He even told me that maybe I was the love of his life but that we didn't do it right the first time and that it was just too late, and a bad timing.

 

He tried to be friends but I refused.

 

And he even gave me the "you deserve way better" line.

Do you think he was sincere?

Do you think he fell out of interest?

Was he feeling guilty for the thing with the ex?

Was he not over her? He has a new gf nowadays and I have been dating, but seem to be overly worried with this.

 

sincere about what? that you deserve better? he said that to ease his own guilt, he's basically telling you he's a bad person for wanting to bang his ex the whole time.

 

does he feel guilty? no reason to feel guilty for sleeping with his ex, you two were broken up.

 

if you're thinking and wanting to blame this on yourself, you shouldn't. he obviously had unresolved issues with his ex, and he drug you along while trying to deal with them. in the end, sadly, you lost out to her. but now, would you really want to be with someone who secretly wanted to be with someone else the whole time? you DO deserve someone "better", meaning, someone that actually wants to be with you without hesitation.

[Quiet Storm]

I think he wasn't over his ex. He told you this.

 

He was sincere in saying you deserve better. You do. And he knows it. He can't be the guy he knows you deserve, because his feelings aren't as strong as they were for his ex.

 

I think he was lying about not trying to get back with his ex. I think he tried, she rejected him, and now he's trying to move on.

 

You deserve to be his #1- in his heart, his mind, his future. He's not ready to be an emotionally available partner, because his heart is not really open to someone new. Don't take it personally. His inability to get over her is all about him. Hes not a good match for you.

[ThisISNTforme]

He told me he wasn't over the fact she slept with another guy. That's why he left her.

Our relationship was very good at first and it felt gnuine, but youre right, i think that he lied about not wanting to get bck with her...

I asked him to never search for me ever again.