ronx7 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I'm curious if anyone has any recollections where they've met someone who was perfect for them, but for whatever reason the relationship never really gets gets going.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Umm, to be honest, that doesn't make much sense to me. If he was perfect for me, it would have happened, period. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. That people come and go for all the right reasons even if we don't understand it. I also believe with all my heart that if someone is meant to be yours, they will be and nothing you say or do can or will prevent that. If they're not, then the same can be said. 3
rec88 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I'm not sure I'd agree that one person is "perfect" for another, and I definitely don't subscribe to the "if it's meant to be" idea. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows how far from perfect it can be. I think that it's about two people who are willing to put in the work. If the relationship never gets going, at least one person wasn't willing to give the effort at that particular time. It's not wrong, but it is the way life goes. 4
Author ronx7 Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Relationships can be complicated especially at the start. At the time, I had only dated girls who lived out of my hometown in a bigger city. They were all just random girls who I met for sole purpose of dating. The girl in question I met in my hometown, and we worked together. After a couple of weeks she was available and we went on a few dates and we really hit it off. The problems started after she got a new job. We had different schedules and we go from seeing each other 5 days a week plus a date to maybe once a week. I was working split shift and was not thinking clearly. It was down hill from there, my fault completely. If things happen for a reason it has to be for both good and bad, or else only good things would happen and life is not like that. By perfect, I mean you really don't find any flaws with the person, you basically l like everything about them.
hermitinator Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Yes. Met on a University trip to Russia. We really connected and he "got" me. But, he is now married. Even if the person is your soulmate, doesn't mean that you are theirs. I have the philosophy that we have many "soulmates". My ex-boyfriend for instance was also someone that I truly connected and "got" me. There are other complications in a long-term relationship. Personal ****.
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I'm not sure I'd agree that one person is "perfect" for another, and I definitely don't subscribe to the "if it's meant to be" idea. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows how far from perfect it can be. I think that it's about two people who are willing to put in the work. If the relationship never gets going, at least one person wasn't willing to give the effort at that particular time. It's not wrong, but it is the way life goes. I subscribe to this. However, everything in life is a lesson. If you really felt strongly about someone and they broke it off take what you can from that break up. Reflect and think about the things you could have done better or differently (everyone can do something better) and make yourself a better person. Life is too short to ignore these lessons and experiences.
Atticus9292012 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 That entire statement "the best relationship you never had," is a little perplexing to me. You really have no idea what its like to be with someone until you are in fact with them. I think in that sense, its being in love with a fantasy of a relationship with that person that is all in your mind. I can't decide if I believe there is such a thing as a "soulmate" or subscribe to the notion that someone is perfect for you. I have noticed that most of my long term relationships have been with people that at the core I was very incompatible with. I guess it comes down to the opposites attract idea? My ex-husband and I, looking back, could not have been more different, but I married the guy. I think we fall in-love with certain people for complicated reasons that have a lot to do with our view of that person (regardless of who they really are) and our upbringing. I think you see a lot of what you want to see in a person and those traits are what make you choose or makes your heart take that leap. I do believe everything happens for a reason. In looking at the course of my life, every decision has brought me to this point. I have met someone and felt intense chemistry with them and we were incredibly compatible, but because of timing or their own crap, they just couldn't go there or I couldn't. It is frustrating, because at the time....you feel so hopeless. Its like why did I have to meet this person and feel this way just to be rejected? In the long run, I find, I see the lesson to be learned. I think, "wow, glad that didn't work out or whatever. I was just not in a good place, etc." In the throws of it, its a bitter pill to swallow. Its hard to see the lesson. Relationships are work and it really comes down to if you are willing to put in the effort. There was a point my marriage could have been saved, but my husband had just quit trying. You can't love someone enough for the two of you and make it work all by yourself. Just doesn't happen. 1
elseaacych Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I've met a few people over the course of my life who I have just clicked with, but for some reason be it mine or their's, the relationship wasn't able to go anywhere or currently isn't able to go anywhere beyond an acquaintance or friendship. I take a little bit of solace from it though, no regrets. Because it just means that there are so many awesome people out in the world, and you never know who you will meet next. 1
BassWalker Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I subscribe to this. However, everything in life is a lesson. If you really felt strongly about someone and they broke it off take what you can from that break up. Reflect and think about the things you could have done better or differently (everyone can do something better) and make yourself a better person. Life is too short to ignore these lessons and experiences. To me life is just a crap shot, a roll of the dice. Sure one might be able gain some insight later but I wouldn't call it a life lesson. Even the best thought out plans can fail miserably. It doesn't matter how strongly you feel for someone or how well you get along, probably the most important thing would be timing.
Raena Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 How do you know if the person is perfect for you if you didn't have a relationship with them? I do recall this one guy I met while he was on 2 weeks furlough before being stationed elsewhere. We spent every minute together for those 2 weeks. For that short time, it seemed like the perfect situation even though we both knew it had to come to an end. When it did, we went our separate ways and never spoke again. I have no idea where he is today or what he's doing but I saved the card he wrote me right before he left. I smile when I think about him and what we had for those 2 short weeks. It felt like a million years when it was happening. I've never felt more loved and been with someone that seemed to just get me so well before or since. He even went so far as to tell me that he was ready willing and able to drop out of the Army and get married to me... all I had to do was say the word. I knew it wouldn't work out though. It was a microcosm of what it's really like to be in a relationship. Like a "vacation relation" I guess. If he had dropped out of the Army he would have regretted it and I don't think it's that easy to do anyway. I do sometimes think about what might have been had I gone with him or asked him to stay though. So in that way, yeah I guess I can say that I've experienced something similar to what you asked. We seemed perfect for each other at the time but life circumstances didn't allow for us to work it through in the normal manner.
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 To me life is just a crap shot, a roll of the dice. Sure one might be able gain some insight later but I wouldn't call it a life lesson. Even the best thought out plans can fail miserably. It doesn't matter how strongly you feel for someone or how well you get along, probably the most important thing would be timing. Timing is HUGE! But at the same time there is something to learn from it. I think timing played a lot in my recent break up but there were things to learn from it to make me a better person.
Nimbus4dt Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I think there are those that you "click" with on every level and for whatever reason they just are not at the stage in their life to have a relationship. I have only come across one such like that, she was not in a place or able to have a proper relationship and I think unfortunately she never will, just a case of "wash and repeat" over and over again, Am sure she will marry and have children but maybe for the wrong reasons. It's just a shame that these events occur. So on that basis I must agree that "Everything happens for a reason, no matter how painful at the time or how wonderful too!" 1
Recommended Posts