SCJACK Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 How much time has passed for you guys before finding someone new? a year? 3 years? 5 years? still haven't yet?
FortunateSon Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I am exactly one year post BU, I have dated quite a bit, I could have easily gotten into a couple relationships, but have found the "one" that feels right yet. I don't want to get into a relationship just for the sake of getting into a relationship, I want to find someone who I connect on all levels with...I suppose that's the trick, isn't it?! 4
ponchsox Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I am exactly one year post BU, I have dated quite a bit, I could have easily gotten into a couple relationships, but have found the "one" that feels right yet. I don't want to get into a relationship just for the sake of getting into a relationship, I want to find someone who I connect on all levels with...I suppose that's the trick, isn't it?! You have the right attitude. I got into a meaningless rebound relationship and it was the wrong thing to do. 1
todreaminblue Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 i dont give myself time limits.......if I meet someone i meet someone some times i am not ready and i go with it anyway i dont push and i dont like to be pushed.....i just see where it goes.because i often feel a bit awkward at first anyway...normally the persistence is from the guy i am dating.....because i dont mind spending time alone.so no time limits or expectations.....not early on anyway......if i am out of a long term relationship i take my time till it feels right..............deb
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 How much time has passed for you guys before finding someone new? a year? 3 years? 5 years? still haven't yet? I do agree with Blue that there really is not a specific timeline for something like that. Some choose to date right after while others take a long time. For ME, I waited a year after almost a three year relationship. I was pretty broken up after it...I tried to date around, and while it helped the healing process to realize I still had it, still wasnt fully over it. After about a year, I found an amazing woman who was miles better than my ex. We've been dating for about 9 months now and it's been great so far. I still think about my ex probably once a day for one reason or another, but I'm over it nor would I ever want her back. I healed, didnt talk to her/stalk her online/text her...and the pain went away. 1
Author SCJACK Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 I don't want to get into another bad relationship. But I don't want to be alone for the next few years again either.. every moment that I spend single now makes me feel like nobody really cares about me or wants to know me. It used to not be like that.. I was happy being single.. I guess back when I had a strong connection with my friends, but now times have changed and even my closest friends aren't around too often. One of my friends just got back with his gf but was basically a doormat to her. (I guess being a doormat works in some cases...) I can tell he feels some sort of power now that he has her back.. I'm still lonely as ever. I can say now that I have absolutely no female friends... I just graduated and started work and was hoping to meet alot of people but turns out I only see the same 4 people everyday... I feel so trapped right now... my friends tell me it's not my opportune time yet... but when has it ever been? When I finally have something good that I want, it never lasts... Sometimes I'm even tired of trying to put effort to be people's friends... they never talk to me unless I talk to them.. why should I have to force myself into people's lives when they clearly don't want me in it? When I don't force it.. I have no one..
Always Pondering Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I have not yet but it's my decision not to. I'm actually enjoying the free time and extra money I have being single so I'm in no rush. It's been a little over a year since I was last in a relationship. For some reason, I tend to find someone and become interested in them (and vice-versa) when I am not actively looking anyways. I have no rush and I want my next relationship to be an extremely serious LTR if not my last . 1
Author SCJACK Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 and out of all of my friends... I'm the most successful... and I'm a great guy, I always try my best at everything I do, I work hard for everything I do. While my friends were out banging other chicks and having fun, dating and having gf's... I was hitting the books.. yet some of them complain about why their pay rate is so much lower than mine.. but do I really have to spend my days of success alone..? Seems like i'm always alone... When something finally good happens to me, it ends in the worst possible way leaving me in a wreck...:/ Now I get to watch my friend enjoy his time with his gf which will prob break up with him again (hopefully not for his sake)
mammasita Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Dumped around October 2012 NC finally January 2013 Dated a bit during summer 2013 - a couple douches, otherwise nobody sparked my interest until...... Met my now BF September 2013 Soooo, about a year. 1
central Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I met my second wife about 6 weeks after moving out from my first 20+ year marriage. However, we both dated other people so it was about 6 months before we decided to be exclusive with each other . That was 14 years ago, and it's still going great! 1
Author SCJACK Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 It's amazing how some people find their next "the one" soon after a broken relationship. For me it seems to be about a 3 year incriment on average to get any sort of action.. something must be wrong with me aha..
witmadskilllz Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 3+ years NC, started to NC after few weeks of post break up and still going. Haven't been in a relationship/casual date once since then
erklat Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I found someone new the moment I realized I didn't care either way about my ex. So it took me about 10 months. Not to date but to desire emotional intimacy with someone else. She was apparently alone for some time now and we both want to be together so the foundations seem healthy to me at this moment.
Recommended Posts