Liizzy Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Hey, So I've been together with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. Our relationship started out pretty badly but we quickly mended and everything was really great. We started out just as FWB, but I had lied about my age. Saying we were only 5 years apart when we are actually nine years apart. After we got over our issues, things were amazing. He's a really great guy.. but sometimes I find myself doubting our relationship. He doesn't really treat my like his girlfriend I am noticing. He doesn't do anything sweet for me. The only time I felt like I was his girlfriend is when we first started going out. Now our relationship is so routine. And he is barely ever affectionate towards me. With me, I feel like I need to be with him everyday. I'm very affectionate and I just want to spend time with him all the time. I love him so much. He, on the other hand, makes it seem like he doesnt care to spend time with me. Its always me asking him if we are going to see each other. Or me telling him that I miss him. He never initiates. We barely ever say to eachother that we love the other. I'm the kind of person who likes to say I love you before bed. But he thinks I say it too much. I dont believe saying it once or twice a day is too much. So we had an argument. And I stopped saying I love you to him. I love you means a lot to me. He never even says it to me. Even when I was saying it, he never said it first. I used to know that he loves me. But now I dont even know. I feel like more of his friend than his girlfriend. as for sex, sex is great but with him, its always me initiating it. He never initiates. And I get that he doesnt want to force me or offend me or whatever but I start to feel like a whore always being the one wanting sex. Not that he doesnt want it.. but he makes it seem that way. The past week has been rough. I brought up a lot of things that bother me about him. Him constantly being on his phone around me, when I tell him I dont like something yet he continues to do it, etc. And he completely blew up in my face. When he has an issue with me. I acknowledge I upset him and correct myself to make him happy. With him, he has to always be right and doesnt apologize or acknowlege the fact that he upset me. I'm a very shy person. It takes me a while to warm up and open up to people and be around people and be myself. Last night, I went out with my boyfriend and his friends. At the beginning I was okay and I was making an effort to join in conversation and tried to be outgoing. His friends are nice.. its just a matter me becoming more comfortable. Then we all went to karaoke. And I love karaoke. I love to sing. But I'm not comfortable with his friends yet. I told my boyfriend how afraid j was to do karaoke with them. I get anxiety and I almost cried the entire time. So I sung one song with my boyfriend and I was mortified. After that, he went to sit beside his other friend and completely ignored me then entire rest of the night. I was sitting all by myself really awkwardly and it was awful and embarassing. And he knows how I am in those situations. After we left the venue he avoided eye contact with me and we left. We didn't talk the entire 45min car ride home. He was being such an ass and very insensitive. If that was him with my friends, I wouldve stayed and sat with him and tried to make him more comfortable. Not leave him like an ass. So now its the morning after and he hasn't messaged me yet. And I can expect a huge argument layer about how I'm in the wrong. So the past couple weeks I've been hesitant and thinking about our relationship. I love him so much and he loves me.. but he's an ******* and I hate being treated like an idiot. So I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. I really needed to vent. And some advice would be nice. I really want this relationship to last. but I feel like maybe I'm too attached and should just let go. I dont know. My head is a mess. Thanks for reading, Liz
MissBee Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) You just posted an entire post about how you can't tell if he loves you and that he never says he does....so how comes you ended it with "I know he loves me"? Huh? Are you trying to convince yourself of this in order to stay together? Why do you want things to work with a guy who treats you badly, doesn't treat you like a gf, never initiates sex, isn't affectionate, doesn't say he loves you, etc...WHAT is here to salvage? Life's short hon. You sound young. You can have other relationships. You aren't married neither do you have children so there is NO reason to stick with this guy. I know it's not easy to detach from someone but being in a relationship where you spend more time feeling bad, anxious or confused is worse. I'd suggest ending it with him...dealing with that pain, but moving on to a man who makes you happy, respects you, where you KNOW he loves you in words and actions, where you don't have a laundry list of issues with him. Edited June 1, 2014 by MissBee 1
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