Shanlon1231 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) 1 day ago #1 So this is a very long story and I am coming here simply looking for help, to mend my soul. I am not gonna talk about the past because I could write an entire book about out up and down past. To begin with I love her, I do with my entire heart. We had a rough path but we made it through and we were finally happy. So now I am here, why?. So basically what happened was last september we were good again and dating happy as ever loving and caring, then we were good till she started her gym class, she is a jr i am a freshman in College. prior to her gym classes she called me between every class and then during lunch she would go to the library and call me. I am realizing when im typing this that once gym started she slowly took me out of every aspect of her life to where we are now. She would interrupt me all the time, talk and laugh with her friends and simply ignore me. I got mad at her 3 weeks ago because of this issue of her not talking to me and her not having compassion and stuff like that. That went bad and I broke up with her(I never would let her go). She was supposed to prove to me that she is going to talk to me more and show me she loves me as much as she says she does. Now THIS WEEK we took a break Saturday to Friday. I called her this morning at 2AM because I missed her with my entire heart, and could not stop crying and she told me she was done and that it was over and I was and still am crying and completely shattered. I told her I wanted her to be happy and stuff but then I started to tell her stuff like "i will be here waiting for you. the offer will and always is on the table. I will give you everything you every wanted. Happiness, love, compassion, care, honesty. I love you and will forever, Goodbye. Hope to hear from you soon." stuff like that. I truly lovve her and i guess i was living in some fantasy land. After saying a lot of stuff like telling her how i was going to change things i wanted to do for us and stuff she still rejected me and said there was no way to a point where she tole me to leave her alone, which i then did. This afternoon i was confused so I texted her asking for guidance about why she is doing this and the answers were because "because I'm sick and tired of you and me together" and that she does not have time for me anymore even though she gave up her entire life for me multiple times in the past. After that convo she called me yelling at me, I was crying to her on the phone literally pouring my heart out for her and not begging but begging for her back but it was not good enough, and I dont understand why it was good enough in the past but now it is completely done. I may be dumb and just need to get over the girl of my dreams because literally she is the girl of my dreams. But idk what to do I cannot eat I cry and throw up, I have no friends, no where to go besides my house, and nothing to do, I feel like i am dying right now. I am so shocked that when she called me she was freaking out at me and saying how horrible I was even when I was crying to her. I was and am willing to give everything to this girl. She was saying things about me controlling her and she was like if I wanna get **** faced ill do it if I wanna go out ill do it if I wanna be a ***** ill do it if I wanna dress like a ***** ill do it, and im sitting here crying . She is also having 2 girlfriends sleep over that night, god knows what they will do. She started to be really mean to me and I don’t understand why she was being so mean, literally never heard her talk to me like this. At the end of me crying and pouring my heart out and her telling me I was to late I realized that what I am doing is useless and she is over me she started to yell after I told her how I wanted to prove it to her and show her then I said **** you and hung up.I then texted her” **** you i poured mt heart out to tried to give you everything and you **** on my face Have a good life and goodbye. Please delete my number.” Well that’s all, Please help me through this. I don’t know what to do anymore I am so heartbroken and devastated. My stomach hurts so bad I want to puke. I cannot sleep I wake up 5 times a night. I am just so hurt, and I don’t get why she is so done after 3 years of hard loving relationship. We had lots of plans, one was moving to California next year, one was going on a week vacation this summer with each other. Like….. IDK WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!!!! FYI. First Love. I deleted her number, and texts. Texts are still on my Mac Though. Its been 2 days and i feel like i am dying, i feel worthless, she has not tried to contact me and i feel that she is moving on when im sitting here still inlove. All my friends have girlfriends, and they are busy doing stuff with them. Im worried i lost the girl i was supposed to be with for the rest of my life. I regret the fights. I regret everything that i did wrong to her and i just want to fight for her back. Im worried i will be alone for the rest of my life I am 19 yr/old male Edited June 1, 2014 by Shanlon1231
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 At 19 everything feels like a tragedy. It's the nature of being 19. The end of your 1st relationship is tough. It hurts. You are not dying. You will find love again & there is no reason to end your life. Your relationship ran it's course. She wants to go out & explore. It really doesn't have all that much to do with you. But all the volatility was toxic. You did break up with her even though you say you didn't mean it & wouldn't leave her. That type of thinking, breaking up & getting back together weakens a relationship. Over time it's just not worth getting on that merry go round one more time. Summer is a great time to be single. College is a great place to be single. Take a little time to lick your wounds then get out there. Call some buddies from class or even old friends from high school. Make some new friends. Pledge a fraternity. Get a job. You will be fine.
Chi townD Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Yeah, why do I get the feeling as if she's still in High School? Dude, time to move on. At that young age for BOTH of you, you are very impressionable. She's got her friends giving her support and convincing her that she's doing the right thing. You can't win. So, now that we know all of HER story. What's yours? Are you in College or University? You stated that you don't have friends. Why? What are your interests? What do you do with your spare time? Believe it or not, these are very important questions for me to help you along with this.
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Chi town -- Buried in that wall of text the OP said he was a college freshman & his GF was a junior. I assumed she was older but upon further reading, I think this was a high school romance that didn't survive the transition.
Chi townD Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Yeah, I got the impression when he stated that "When gym started" Sorry, I didn't have gym class in University.
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I actually had gym in college. We had to have 3 credits of phys ed to graduate.
Chi townD Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Did you actually call it gym class? Uhh.... I never had to do that at my University.
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