Matelow Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 So I am doing NC and have been for about 3 months now. After breaking up with me, she got a boyfriend around 2 weeks after, which she chose to tell me about - probably to clear her own guilt... Anyway, 3 months down the line - I feel cheated. Cheated because I now don't have that future to look forward to. We were going to have kids, move in together and I was very excited about this new future to look forward too! And now it has been taken away through no fault of my own. Also - NC is making me feel so petty. I know the plus reasons, but this isn't really me. I just want to talk to her! Not to get her back, just to talk. I know she got rid of me and why should I care and all of that - but its not really the way I am. Do any of you guys feel the same way as me? Not necessarily miss the other half, but the future? 1
JoeFallkon Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Yea. we were plannin on getting kids too, shoot, she asked me to marry her 2 weeks after we met. we did ended up living together. But now shes gone. its been a month for me, and i still wake up in the middle of the night to see if she has texted. All the things we say when we re in love, but that changes. She might or not comeback, but you have to be strong, someone else will come along. You dont need to contact her, even though you really want to, youre just gonna miss her more when shes not textin you or calling you, and hen knowing shes with this other guy, for me, it d kill me.
elseaacych Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 It's the dreams of a happy future with him that I miss more than anything. It takes a while, but you will realize that if you two continued the way you were in your old relationship, that future was not going to be happy. I still have the future. I still have dreams and hopes and wishes. They just don't necessarily include my ex. You still have the future- it and all of the uncertainty it's going to bring regardless if you face it alone or with a partner.
No Limit Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Keep your plans and realize them with a stable partner that is actually capable and willing to go that path. Your ex wasn't, she would have been dead weight over time. 1
erklat Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Yeah, the white space where your plans were hurts the most. It killed me for over half a year. Know what? I'll still buy that car, I'll still go to that amusement park and buy myself that river house with small garden where she'll plant flowers and a barbecue I'll prepare lunch for the kids and us. It will just be someone else planting the flowers, and in the end you'll realize that. 1
Alcatraz Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Yep, had plans of places we were going to visit and even talked about kids, just for her to go and cheat on me with her new guy. Hope it comes back to bite her on the ass.
roe007 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 it hurts mate and you are not alone. There is a hindu custom of tying the knot a necklace around the neck to the girl for wedding. Well the western culture is exchanging rings right? So she was always dreaming about our marriage and asked me to tie a knot from the temple one day. We did it actually and I was so happy we made plans lots of it opened a bank account to save money and buy an apartment to settle down. Well now she is gone these things hurt me so deeply. I am not superstitious at all but the tying knot part hit me hard it is more like exchanging rings and getting married and I really lived that moment several hundred times. We had clicked a picture of that moment as well. But nothing bothered her during break up. Well there is no other way than to accept it is over and move on otherwise our life will be standstill and they would enjoy the life. We should live ours.... God might be still writing the perfect love story for us )
FortunateSon Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 This is absolutely true. I am exactly one year post BU today, I don't miss who she was, or even the present moment...I miss what I thought our future was going to be. The plans we had, the places we were going to go, growing old together, etc. I struggle with the fact that I haven't met someone new that I want a future with; even though in the end, the relationship was unhealthy and toxic, I took comfort knowing we had a future together. I want to find that again...
Wings Of Love Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Know what? I'll still buy that car, I'll still go to that amusement park and buy myself that river house with small garden where she'll plant flowers and a barbecue I'll prepare lunch for the kids and us. It will just be someone else planting the flowers, and in the end you'll realize that. This is true. It took me a while to realise that I could still have the future I envisioned, I'd just be sharing it with someone else. He and I made plans, talked about about them just days before we split. But he threw it all away and wouldn't give me a reason. I felt cheated, but I've put it behind me. You'll get to the point where you realise they don't quite fit in your future.
No Limit Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I'd just be sharing it with someone else. Someone better.
Mr.Pine Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I just want to talk to her! Not to get her back, just to talk. I call bull-pucky. Once you get her on the horn or lasso her in person, you'll be bugging her for answers, crying for a second chance and begging for reconciliation. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING good will come from talking to her. She has moved on to another...and don't be fooled. She didn't meet a new guy 2 weeks after you broke up, she went public with him two weeks after you broke up after planting the seeds with this new dude weeks or months before she dumped your ass. Be honest... with us and yourself. Let her go. Let her bang her new dude in peace, and just move on with your life. NC, my friend. 1
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