the_entertainer1 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 At around Christmas time last year, I met a guy and we went on a couple of dates in a week. I thought they went really well and he was giving me positive signs. There weren't awkward silences, we held hands and kissed. On the 2nd date, he even made suggestions about a 3rd date. A few days after that, he sent me a message to say that he didn't think that I was the one for him. He didn't give reasons. I was a little hurt and (immaturely) didn't respond to that text. We hadn't seen each other since then, until 2 or 3 weeks ago. We live within 5 minutes of each other and on 4-5 occasions, have caught the same bus to or from work. The first couple of times we just made eye contact and waved, but from the third time onwards he's sat next to me and we've chatted non-stop. Anyway, I feel like we have good chemistry and would like for things to progress. But - I lost his number when I changed phones. Do you think he still stands by his idea that we're not suited, or does the fact that he's now started talking to me on the bus indicate he might be open to picking up where we left off? Is it worth asking why he thought we weren't suited? What can I do to show him I might still be open to seeing where things could go? Because we live so close, it would be good to even just be friends with him - but at 25, I feel kind of dumb asking a guy if we can be friends! lol.
Atticus9292012 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 In my experience men don't usually change their minds about this stuff unless some time has passed or circumstances change. I would assume things haven't changed for him unless he says so. If you want more and pursue a friendship it's just going to lead to a confusing gray area, which unfortunately has happened to me more times than I care to admit. It's hard to understand how you can have chemistry like that with someone and they don't see it. Not anything you can do to change that unfortunately. I would suggest just enjoy the conversation and assume it is nothing more than friendly conversation. If he wants to take it to the next level he will get in touch. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Since he is the one who said that he didn't think you are the one for him, there is nothing you can do to change his mind. If you are open to being just friends, say hi & chat with him when you commute together but don't expect things to progress beyond that.
Scrab22 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Don't ask him if you can be friends. It'll hurt you. Try getting his time to talk with you, and ask him, to explain to you why you're not fit for him. Tell him to take his time on thinking the reason out. If he's not able to tell you or not willing to, tell him that it'll only hurt you if he's hiding the reason (It hurt me allot when my 1st ex didn't tell me the reason when I tried asking for - over 1.5 years of pain)
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