LustAppeal Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I am writing this in hopes that people see the truth of being too nice! And that is you can NEVER be too nice! My specialty is helping socially awkward men gain dating attributes needed to meet high quality women and the first thing all nice guys point figures at is the fact that women like douchebags, and/or the fact that they’re just too nice! If you’re a nice guy who has trouble with women please continue reading! “Nice guys always finish last!” This has become a common saying that I’m sure you’ve all heard if not used yourself, but is it used in the right context? We use the saying as if being nice is the only downfall of meeting an attractive woman, as if it is the only factor pushing a relationship towards the “friend’s zone.” We assume the cocky douche bags get the girl because they’re dicks, because women love douchebags. When we see an A**Hole get a girl we assume “Oh I’m just too nice!” But is this true? NO! This is BullS**t! Being socially awkward is not a characteristic of being nice, we have no clue where to draw the line between social anxiety, sexual tension, and being “nice.” A nice guy who is loving, caring, and socially active will achieve a long term relationship far sooner than the nice guy who is loving and caring, but has no clue how to talk to attractive women and when they do get the chance the social anxiety only builds into sexual tension causing the relationship to be friend zoned. What is Sexual Tension? Sexual Tension is what pushes a relationship towards the friend zone and away from a more intimate relationship. It’s that bubble you put up while socializing with someone you’re already attracted to. On the inside of this bubble along with yourself is safety and comfort. On the outside of this bubble sits the person you’re attracted to and nothing but potential. Problem is, as humans we avoid pain more than we seek pleasure, in this case we stay within out bubble of comfort and safety over a potential relationship. We sit in our bubble for so long contemplating what to say or do, when to move in for a hug or kiss, how to escalate, and so on. What we don’t realize is that in doing this we portray ourselves in a negative, insecure manner. You know when you see an amazing girl in the mall and you want to talk to her so bad, but you don’t because of this bubble, then you go on with your day wondering what you could have done differently, thinking about this girl and how great she probably is, buy you’ll never know. Pickup artists use this “3 second rule,” where when they are presented with an attractive woman they only give themselves three seconds to move in and talk to her. Why? Because after around three seconds our brains defenses go up and negative thoughts begin bouncing around. Why can’t the average “nice guy” follow the same rule? Because they have some sort of social anxiety bubble they need to break free from! So how do we break free from this bubble? Experience! Experience! Experience! Experience!!!!!!!!!! And looking at your live in more of a positive way. The average nice guy won’t talk to that girl because they see only a 1% chance achieving a phone number when on the other hand the confident nice guy will see it as, “Oh only a 1 percent chance? That means I’ll only have to talk to 100 girls before I meet someone attracted to me! Bring it on ladies!” Only through talking to women do we build experience! Experience is key to confidence! Confidence is key to meeting high quality women! Social media, online dating, and cellphones have played a huge roll towards draining social attributes. Many turn towards texting and/or online dating as a means of a “safer” way to find and initiate a relationship. In our head this works because we all fear rejection and the fear of being rejected in person is far greater than the fear of the person rejecting you through not returning a text or replying to a message. Online dating is a great tool for being introduced to multiple people in a short period of time, but when used as a means of filling a social gap you cannot fill in person it is only doomed in the end. What experiences do I need to gain confidence? Easy, the experiences you need are sitting all around you all you have to do is get off you’re a** and start looking. Next time your friends ask you to go out, don’t jump to the conclusion you won’t meet someone, and instead tell yourself this might be the night! The next time you see that attractive girl walking through the mall, give yourself three seconds to walk up and talk to her! Who cares what you say, you’re setting the experience foundation that will only build confidence. Seriously I dare you to go out and sign up for every big social event of the year! This means mud runs, color festivals, music events, and whatever you can get your hands on. I dare you to step away from the keyboard and hit the streets, the mall, coffee shops, parks, etc…. I dare you to have the confidence of a douchebag, but with the attitude of the nice guy you truly are! No girl will be able to resist you! We assume life should be easy, yet it isn’t. Life doesn’t adapt to meet your needs, you’re what adapts! Just remember: “Those things that hurt, instruct.” –Benjamin Franklin Hope this helps and I plan on expanding this a little more in the future, as for now I am headed out to have fun and meet new people, why don’t you do the same? Tonight might be the night! Peace out LoveShack community! Have a great night! 8
R3d Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Love the "3 second rule" idea man. That's one of the biggest things ****ing me up. Whenever I am by myself, I think there is no reason for me to be so nervous talking to a girl I am attracted to. I mean, what's going to happen? Nothing really... Yet in the heat of the moment, for some damn reason, and I don't know if it's biological or not, I start getting all nervous and ****. While really, I understand that there is no logical reason to be nervous about approaching her, the heat of the moment causes me to go into this "flight-or-fight" mode. Is there a biological explanation for this? Why do our bodies seem to naturally go into flight-or-flight mode when we are faced with the challenge of approaching a beautiful woman? But anyway, the "3 second rule" seems like a great idea and I will apply it and see if it helps counter my body's natural reaction of going into flight-or-fight mode.
Easyguy14 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I agree with this report. I've been nothing but nice but never got my comeuppance for any of it and its disgusting really. In return I get games and tests and women being so self-entitled its driven me bonkers...almost.
Author LustAppeal Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 (edited) Even the most confident person out there will tell you they feel anxiety(fight or flight) when it comes to approaching attractive women. You're no different than the next guy in this area. Instead of fearing this anxiety and worrying about it, I want you to embrace it, feel every sensation in your body anchoring you to the ground and break the cycle, step free and towards the girl! Say to yourself, "Yes I am nervous to approach this girl, because she is so damn attractive, but the positives out way the negatives in talking to her! So here I go!" This fight or flight can be combated, try creating smalltalk with everyone around you, the clerk at the corner store, the bouncer at the bar, the cab driver, your teachers, and so on. You'll start getting use to talking to people and your confidence will only grow. After you begin to gain this confidence go out and try new clothing styles, don't be afraid to try something new, if you have a friend with good style ask them for help, don't care what others think while trying on the clothing, and if you have no clue start looking on Pintrest accounts, women almost always have a "men's style" section, pick some pictures you like and hit the mall. Another topic I am planing on writing is the fact that men dress to impress other men, the ones that dress to impress women are normally belittled by other men. Truth is, when you look good you feel good, when you feel good you feel unstoppable! Goodluck man! Edited June 1, 2014 by LustAppeal 1
gaius Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I can tell that I'm not into a woman when my nice guy side comes out around her. It's my bodys way of turning her off so she won't bother me. 2
Author LustAppeal Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 I hear yea, and I know some factors are over looked in my post. I want to make it clear to you and others that no one is helpless and without taking that first step you're only holding yourself back from potential. I grew up in a rural area, it was hard making friends, come high-school I thought I was helpless. I, myself, and me alone, decided I was lonely and it needed to change. I decided to move into a city, I decided to dedicate five years of my life to self development and personal growth, I decided to seek help, to get out of my depressive state and do what ever it took to flip my life around. I wish I could expand on this post and I shall tomorrow as I am on my way to a country club atm. Typing this on a phone sucks. To keep it as short as possible, no one is helpless! Changing your life takes commitment. For myself I could give you a life story involving the country, depression, rejection problems, the military, my ex girlfriends, a pickup artist community, and so much more to help prove a point but it'd end up being a book. There's a solution to everything, if this social anxiety has rooted it's way into you, maybe therapy is needed. There's a solution to every problem in your life. Social anxiety can be managed.
topaMAXX Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I am writing this in hopes that people see the truth of being too nice! And that is you can NEVER be too nice! My specialty is helping socially awkward men gain dating attributes needed to meet high quality women and the first thing all nice guys point figures at is the fact that women like douchebags, and/or the fact that they’re just too nice! If you’re a nice guy who has trouble with women please continue reading! “Nice guys always finish last!” This has become a common saying that I’m sure you’ve all heard if not used yourself, but is it used in the right context? We use the saying as if being nice is the only downfall of meeting an attractive woman, as if it is the only factor pushing a relationship towards the “friend’s zone.” We assume the cocky douche bags get the girl because they’re dicks, because women love douchebags. When we see an A**Hole get a girl we assume “Oh I’m just too nice!” But is this true? NO! This is BullS**t! Being socially awkward is not a characteristic of being nice, we have no clue where to draw the line between social anxiety, sexual tension, and being “nice.” A nice guy who is loving, caring, and socially active will achieve a long term relationship far sooner than the nice guy who is loving and caring, but has no clue how to talk to attractive women and when they do get the chance the social anxiety only builds into sexual tension causing the relationship to be friend zoned. What is Sexual Tension? Sexual Tension is what pushes a relationship towards the friend zone and away from a more intimate relationship. It’s that bubble you put up while socializing with someone you’re already attracted to. On the inside of this bubble along with yourself is safety and comfort. On the outside of this bubble sits the person you’re attracted to and nothing but potential. Problem is, as humans we avoid pain more than we seek pleasure, in this case we stay within out bubble of comfort and safety over a potential relationship. We sit in our bubble for so long contemplating what to say or do, when to move in for a hug or kiss, how to escalate, and so on. What we don’t realize is that in doing this we portray ourselves in a negative, insecure manner. You know when you see an amazing girl in the mall and you want to talk to her so bad, but you don’t because of this bubble, then you go on with your day wondering what you could have done differently, thinking about this girl and how great she probably is, buy you’ll never know. Pickup artists use this “3 second rule,” where when they are presented with an attractive woman they only give themselves three seconds to move in and talk to her. Why? Because after around three seconds our brains defenses go up and negative thoughts begin bouncing around. Why can’t the average “nice guy” follow the same rule? Because they have some sort of social anxiety bubble they need to break free from! So how do we break free from this bubble? Experience! Experience! Experience! Experience!!!!!!!!!! And looking at your live in more of a positive way. The average nice guy won’t talk to that girl because they see only a 1% chance achieving a phone number when on the other hand the confident nice guy will see it as, “Oh only a 1 percent chance? That means I’ll only have to talk to 100 girls before I meet someone attracted to me! Bring it on ladies!” Only through talking to women do we build experience! Experience is key to confidence! Confidence is key to meeting high quality women! Social media, online dating, and cellphones have played a huge roll towards draining social attributes. Many turn towards texting and/or online dating as a means of a “safer” way to find and initiate a relationship. In our head this works because we all fear rejection and the fear of being rejected in person is far greater than the fear of the person rejecting you through not returning a text or replying to a message. Online dating is a great tool for being introduced to multiple people in a short period of time, but when used as a means of filling a social gap you cannot fill in person it is only doomed in the end. What experiences do I need to gain confidence? Easy, the experiences you need are sitting all around you all you have to do is get off you’re a** and start looking. Next time your friends ask you to go out, don’t jump to the conclusion you won’t meet someone, and instead tell yourself this might be the night! The next time you see that attractive girl walking through the mall, give yourself three seconds to walk up and talk to her! Who cares what you say, you’re setting the experience foundation that will only build confidence. Seriously I dare you to go out and sign up for every big social event of the year! This means mud runs, color festivals, music events, and whatever you can get your hands on. I dare you to step away from the keyboard and hit the streets, the mall, coffee shops, parks, etc…. I dare you to have the confidence of a douchebag, but with the attitude of the nice guy you truly are! No girl will be able to resist you! We assume life should be easy, yet it isn’t. Life doesn’t adapt to meet your needs, you’re what adapts! Just remember: “Those things that hurt, instruct.” –Benjamin Franklin Hope this helps and I plan on expanding this a little more in the future, as for now I am headed out to have fun and meet new people, why don’t you do the same? Tonight might be the night! Peace out LoveShack community! Have a great night! I stopped reading at your definition of sexual tension. The actual definition of sexual tension is when a guy and a girl are flirting. Maybe there's some teasing going on. Both are into each other, sparks are flying. Maybe the guy goes in for a kiss and pulls back. The girl gets really turned on and the guy gets really turned on. THAT'S sexual tension, my friend. 5
topaMAXX Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I can tell that I'm not into a woman when my nice guy side comes out around her. It's my bodys way of turning her off so she won't bother me. Totally agree with this. If I start feeling/acting like a nice guy, I usually friendzone the girl. 1
R3d Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I can tell that I'm not into a woman when my nice guy side comes out around her. It's my bodys way of turning her off so she won't bother me. ??? For me, is the opposite...
gaius Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 ??? For me, is the opposite... Your body tends to figure out after a while what behavior gets what response and then starts exhibiting behavior based on the response it wants. So if you still find yourself being super nice after a few times of seeing what it gets you then it's not something you actually want. It's like trying to same key in a lock that isn't opening over and over and over again. If you actually want to get in and a key isn't working you try the next one. Being super nice is a way to maintain cordial relations with a woman but not have her panting over you!
joystickd Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Very interesting vid. I know some of the women on here won't check it out. I will say though women want a man. In order to be that these younger guys have to have the mindset that Momma was wrong. The reality is the women in as males life often give the worst advice about pursuing women. I know a lot of you hate that thought but it's the truth. It's why now a lot of guy that are raised by single moms struggle with dating. 3
littleplanet Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 wow. I'm a nice guy and always have been, because I was raised that way and that's what I always wanted to be. My romantic life started at the age of 16, and never stopped. To me, "nice guy" is a matter of conscience, maturity, decent human values and most important: knowing how to treat a good woman who is looking for a good man. Of course (even as a teenager) I ignored the chicks looking for a "thrill." Didn't bother. (There were always lots of guys looking for them.) And there were always lots of girls who didn't buy into that stuff. Can nice guys be "cool"? Of course. When I was 18 I learned how to be a musician. And I admit - the "cool" factor was a big turn-on. Only I had a little rule: Flirtation happened up there on the stage - and when the last chord had wrung dry.....I stepped down off that stage and straight into my girlfriend's arms - no-one else's. I have had more lovin' in my life from being 'nice'.....than any kind of rude dude attitude ever would have brought my way. To me - nice guys don't finish last. They finish what they start (for a long.......long time.) - and that was one astute observation, TopaMAXX 2
Author LustAppeal Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Sexual tention can have two different meanings. If you talk to any psychologist they'll give you the definition I posted. And yes you're right the other meaning to it is purposely creating sexual tention through flirting, being touchy, moving in closer, and using body language. This tention is needed to start any sort of intimacy and most men also struggle with it. As for the pickup artist comment. If self improvement through social values is being a pickup artist..
R3d Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 You are a musician (and it sounds like you are pretty good). To women, that's as good as being a GQ model. Being a long-time serious violin player (for 8.5 years), that's nice to hear. I wasn't aware of this. Does being a musician really go a long way with the ladies?
William Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Members may note a number of postings having been deleted. Robert was very kind to moderate the thread with a minimum of sanctions so let's support his work and continue posting to address the topic, which asks some good questions and provides answers regarding 'nice guys' and dating/relationships. Thanks!
littleplanet Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 To be honest, man, you could have been whatever you wanted, personality-wise. You are a musician (and it sounds like you are pretty good). To women, that's as good as being a GQ model. Guys that are not interested in things like music, that also happen to be nice guys, may be in for a rough ride when it comes to women... I'd like to point out a couple of things, in keeping with addressing the theme of this thread. What is music, if not something that is incredibly social, and conducive to social encounters? My romantic experience (and confidence) grew in leaps and bounds from the age of 16. But until I was in my early 20's my musical confidence was abyssmal. My point being - I wasn't a teenage hearthrob up there - I was just a nice mellow, pleasant dude who played tunes. (And it took me awhile to become a decent musican. I had to learn my chops.) But here's the point: Music is social, yes. It also opens up the passions. It can help one grow, expand.....not only their humanity, but the expression of it. So I would challenge this: Guys who aren't interested in developing their humanity (through whatever interests they choose) - do they not then lean on their physicality and hope for the best? Sure - it can all start with a gal 'liking your looks.' (that's how it started with me) But there has to be something else to follow that up. (in my case - it certainly was the niceness) .......and a little later on, some character and personality tossed into the mix. After awhile......6 months or so, I became enough of a 'bad boy' for her (hormonal hootchi kootchi) but I didn't go from zero to sixty straightaway. That took time. So had I been super-skilled at performing (musically) but a class A bad-a$$? - would that have optimized my prospects? Probably. But that would have only made me a hit with the groupies. (now - no offence, groupies, the lord luv yez....) but y'all were never my cat's pajamas. So to get back to the thesis. The ninety pound romantically inept nice weakling getting sand kicked in the face by the proverbial alpha muscle-bound male? (who isn't so nice.) It's not exactly a myth. It happens. But I've heard a lot of stories in my life from women who experienced firsthand the alpha veneer cracking and splitting like cheap sweatshop handiwork - if they happened to be looking for a little more depth - something a little beyond surface level. Quick fix? It takes a long grind - to become a human being. But it can be a lot of fun along the way!
Shepp Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 The problem with this is what target audience your aiming at when you say 'nice guy' Your average guy who, through upbringing, moral compass, and sense of honour is nice, in the sense of the word, the dictionary definition good-natured; kind. Or the 'nice guy' in the coined term used by dudes and girls who want a more....easier, way of saying, what...awkward, push over, low confidence, or whatever other traits get put under the 'nice guy' umbrella! Guys who are nice wont finish last with women or anything else, its a positive attribute. "Nice guys"'s may hit problems, which can obviously be countered, but being nice doesnt hinder your life prospects 4
Author LustAppeal Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Members may note a number of postings having been deleted. Robert was very kind to moderate the thread with a minimum of sanctions so let's support his work and continue posting to address the topic, which asks some good questions and provides answers regarding 'nice guys' and dating/relationships. Thanks! Big thanks to Robert!!!!!!! Much appreciated! The problem with this is what target audience your aiming at when you say 'nice guy'Yes I realize now that I may have not made it as clear as I wanted to when it comes to a target audience. When I say "nice guy" I am using it as nothing but a term to project the fact that we have added all these detrimental characteristics surrounding a nice guy. We assume he cannot get a girl because he's nice when in fact there's a much deeper reason. For example a person could blame his problems on being nice, when in fact he has anxiety from being rejected by friends throughout highschool, maybe he hangs out with people who belittle him, maybe his parents are the ones belittling him... And so on. If I could take this niceguy stigma and rename it I would!
littleplanet Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) The problem with this is what target audience your aiming at when you say 'nice guy' Your average guy who, through upbringing, moral compass, and sense of honour is nice, in the sense of the word, the dictionary definition good-natured; kind. Or the 'nice guy' in the coined term used by dudes and girls who want a more....easier, way of saying, what...awkward, push over, low confidence, or whatever other traits get put under the 'nice guy' umbrella! Guys who are nice wont finish last with women or anything else, its a positive attribute. "Nice guys"'s may hit problems, which can obviously be countered, but being nice doesnt hinder your life prospects Very good point, Shepp. There's nice, and then there's nice. Leaning a little on the standard conventional vernacular - I was using the term to denote a decent fellow with strong moral values. (......who may still possess all kinds of other attributes that women find attractive) - as opposed to the more modern and current umbrella.......I guess what I used to refer to as the guy who just tried too hard. (high anxiety.) But yeah. I'd say the target audience has a lot to do with it. I remember lots of nice girls (looking for nice guys.) And they most certainly weren't groupies. Or easy. Or pushovers. There was no dark side.......or that unfathomable gothic kind of hard edge. We used to just sort of laugh that off. And yet for some - it's deadly serious. (Our word for it was - 'bent.') But I always used to side with the underdog - not the conquering hero. The everyman. The invisible quiet one - not the life of the party. (But you know.....I've run into a few of them in my life - heroes - who go deeper than one would think.) Just one more of life's little surprises. And LustAppeal - Perhaps that's it. Renaming a social phenomenon that certainly does exist - in a way that better defines what it really is. Where do all those detrimental characteristics really come from? (They do tend to show up in the stats.) The much deeper reason isn't necessarily due to niceness per se. You're right - that supreme lack of confidence buried deep - as if there's a neon sign burning brightly overhead. I think it is a vicious circle. That little bit of success that breeds confidence that leads to greater success..... or if that little bit of success doesn't show up......then it compounds as time goes by.......into a greater sense of failure. Funny thing: I remember a collection of older dudes in my neighborhood who were absolutely convinced that every teenager my age needed a quick trip to the local brothel (for confidence-boosting.) I was appalled. Maybe that jumpstarted me to go get the job done on my own, in the kind of way I saw fit. I sure didn't want to 'lose it' for cash on the barrel. Edited June 2, 2014 by littleplanet
Targetlock Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I am writing this in hopes that people see the truth of being too nice! And that is you can NEVER be too nice! My specialty is helping socially awkward men gain dating attributes needed to meet high quality women and the first thing all nice guys point figures at is the fact that women like douchebags, and/or the fact that they’re just too nice! If you’re a nice guy who has trouble with women please continue reading! “Nice guys always finish last!” This has become a common saying that I’m sure you’ve all heard if not used yourself, but is it used in the right context? We use the saying as if being nice is the only downfall of meeting an attractive woman, as if it is the only factor pushing a relationship towards the “friend’s zone.” We assume the cocky douche bags get the girl because they’re dicks, because women love douchebags. When we see an A**Hole get a girl we assume “Oh I’m just too nice!” But is this true? NO! This is BullS**t! Being socially awkward is not a characteristic of being nice, we have no clue where to draw the line between social anxiety, sexual tension, and being “nice.” A nice guy who is loving, caring, and socially active will achieve a long term relationship far sooner than the nice guy who is loving and caring, but has no clue how to talk to attractive women and when they do get the chance the social anxiety only builds into sexual tension causing the relationship to be friend zoned. What is Sexual Tension? Sexual Tension is what pushes a relationship towards the friend zone and away from a more intimate relationship. It’s that bubble you put up while socializing with someone you’re already attracted to. On the inside of this bubble along with yourself is safety and comfort. On the outside of this bubble sits the person you’re attracted to and nothing but potential. Problem is, as humans we avoid pain more than we seek pleasure, in this case we stay within out bubble of comfort and safety over a potential relationship. We sit in our bubble for so long contemplating what to say or do, when to move in for a hug or kiss, how to escalate, and so on. What we don’t realize is that in doing this we portray ourselves in a negative, insecure manner. You know when you see an amazing girl in the mall and you want to talk to her so bad, but you don’t because of this bubble, then you go on with your day wondering what you could have done differently, thinking about this girl and how great she probably is, buy you’ll never know. Pickup artists use this “3 second rule,” where when they are presented with an attractive woman they only give themselves three seconds to move in and talk to her. Why? Because after around three seconds our brains defenses go up and negative thoughts begin bouncing around. Why can’t the average “nice guy” follow the same rule? Because they have some sort of social anxiety bubble they need to break free from! So how do we break free from this bubble? Experience! Experience! Experience! Experience!!!!!!!!!! And looking at your live in more of a positive way. The average nice guy won’t talk to that girl because they see only a 1% chance achieving a phone number when on the other hand the confident nice guy will see it as, “Oh only a 1 percent chance? That means I’ll only have to talk to 100 girls before I meet someone attracted to me! Bring it on ladies!” Only through talking to women do we build experience! Experience is key to confidence! Confidence is key to meeting high quality women! Social media, online dating, and cellphones have played a huge roll towards draining social attributes. Many turn towards texting and/or online dating as a means of a “safer” way to find and initiate a relationship. In our head this works because we all fear rejection and the fear of being rejected in person is far greater than the fear of the person rejecting you through not returning a text or replying to a message. Online dating is a great tool for being introduced to multiple people in a short period of time, but when used as a means of filling a social gap you cannot fill in person it is only doomed in the end. What experiences do I need to gain confidence? Easy, the experiences you need are sitting all around you all you have to do is get off you’re a** and start looking. Next time your friends ask you to go out, don’t jump to the conclusion you won’t meet someone, and instead tell yourself this might be the night! The next time you see that attractive girl walking through the mall, give yourself three seconds to walk up and talk to her! Who cares what you say, you’re setting the experience foundation that will only build confidence. Seriously I dare you to go out and sign up for every big social event of the year! This means mud runs, color festivals, music events, and whatever you can get your hands on. I dare you to step away from the keyboard and hit the streets, the mall, coffee shops, parks, etc…. I dare you to have the confidence of a douchebag, but with the attitude of the nice guy you truly are! No girl will be able to resist you! We assume life should be easy, yet it isn’t. Life doesn’t adapt to meet your needs, you’re what adapts! Just remember: “Those things that hurt, instruct.” –Benjamin Franklin Hope this helps and I plan on expanding this a little more in the future, as for now I am headed out to have fun and meet new people, why don’t you do the same? Tonight might be the night! Peace out LoveShack community! Have a great night! All very good points especially the 3 second rule, and i think it comes down to one thing: Confidence!! which sadly with sort of thing is never my strong suit for all manner of reasons, but then again all it takes is practice, practice and more practice!!. sadly you can sometimes be too nice because then you can run into doormat territory.
Author LustAppeal Posted June 2, 2014 Author Posted June 2, 2014 And LustAppeal - Perhaps that's it. Renaming a social phenomenon that certainly does exist - in a way that better defines what it really is. Where do all those detrimental characteristics really come from? (They do tend to show up in the stats.) The much deeper reason isn't necessarily due to niceness per se. You're right - that supreme lack of confidence buried deep - as if there's a neon sign burning brightly overhead. I think it is a vicious circle. That little bit of success that breeds confidence that leads to greater success..... or if that little bit of success doesn't show up......then it compounds as time goes by.......into a greater sense of failure. Funny thing: I remember a collection of older dudes in my neighborhood who were absolutely convinced that every teenager my age needed a quick trip to the local brothel (for confidence-boosting.) I was appalled. Maybe that jumpstarted me to go get the job done on my own, in the kind of way I saw fit. I sure didn't want to 'lose it' for cash on the barrel. I could not agree more. When it comes down to social anxiety on a deeper level I've notice a few of the following situations constantly popping up within the individual's life: Family Issues/conflict; Bullying; Negative friends or family; Rejection (Through friends, social circles, and/or family members); and Sexual Abuse. And the longer it goes on the harder it is for the individual to break free from his/her anxiety and negative thinking. Some people need years of therapy, others need to hit the refresh button and seek help. Normally the topic I wrote above would come into play with individuals who have seeked that help, who are on the road to self improvement, and to those who have moved away from the main issue only to realize they still have anxiety approaching attractive women.
SteveC80 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Theyres nothing "nice" about the way women are attracted to men Think of wheb women use words like powerful and "dominant" to describe what turns them on in a man theyres nothign nice or sweet about that Just think of sex and how women receive sex women get ravaged and impaled during sex they are the ones getting entered and penetrated Womens attraction to men is more brute and cavemanish then anyhting else 1
Targetlock Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I could not agree more. When it comes down to social anxiety on a deeper level I've notice a few of the following situations constantly popping up within the individual's life: Family Issues/conflict; Bullying; Negative friends or family; Rejection (Through friends, social circles, and/or family members); and Sexual Abuse. And the longer it goes on the harder it is for the individual to break free from his/her anxiety and negative thinking. Some people need years of therapy, others need to hit the refresh button and seek help. Normally the topic I wrote above would come into play with individuals who have seeked that help, who are on the road to self improvement, and to those who have moved away from the main issue only to realize they still have anxiety approaching attractive women. Yep social awkwardness the bane of my life it seems and in addition to some of the above causes (bullying, rejection mainly) i also have mild learning disability which adds a new layer of complication. i think in my case it all comes down to confidence, I'm working on it but when it comes to my love life its still flawed but i'm not giving up.
Author LustAppeal Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 Yep social awkwardness the bane of my life it seems and in addition to some of the above causes (bullying, rejection mainly) i also have mild learning disability which adds a new layer of complication. i think in my case it all comes down to confidence, I'm working on it but when it comes to my love life its still flawed but i'm not giving up. Dude that's great, keep putting yourself in situations that push past your comfort zone, create smalltalk with everyone around you, and remember that self acceptance is what builds confidence!
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