Ever had a huge crush on someone and it turns out they're totally incompatible?

[Swan89]

The girl I was dating for four months was the most sexy, stunning and striking looking girl I've ever seen. We had a mutual strong lust. It turned out when I met her, she was very blunt and cold, she is like this to everyone because she was sexually abused as a kid by a family member. None the less, this trait of hers always made me doubt myself and my self esteem suffered for it. I really value kindness, openness positive attitude and I'm very sensitive.

 

She said she takes about a month or two to open up but I apparently set her back because early on in the relationship, I was still bung up on an ex gf and I agreed to meet her to hear her out, which I admit is a terrible thing to happen in a new relationship. We seemed to move past it though because I cancelled on my ex at the time.

 

We didn't have much in common but we did have things to talk about. She is very negative and is cold to people. She never made an effort with my friends or my mother to chat and she dismissed my friends as '*******s', which I found disrespectful. I never felt completely at ease around her, I felt almost judged like I was inferior to her. I think this may be because she is a bit condescending. She wasn't all bad though because I wouldn't have been with her otherwise. She was honest, fair, hard working and loyal, even generous at times.

 

She complained that I was dramatic and childish. I don't know why but I was so insecure that I got angry over small things and took it out on her. I was thoughtful and loving in the beginning but as time went by I found myself feeling more agitated to the point where I pushed her away whenever we had a misunderstanding (happened a lot).

 

Me pushing her away and giving her the silent treatment was the final straw, I really hurt her by that but I took her some cookies and flowers to her house and apologised for being a brat. After that she stopped any intimacy with me and needed space, she was 'put off'. This made me panic and I became a bit clingy. I called her up after she didn't reply to my text when she was on a night out and insisted that she wouldn't text me because its anti social but I find that hard to believe because she is on her phone quite a lot in general, I think it was an excuse perhaps. But this phone call led to a big argument and she stormed off.

 

For about another week she said she wasn't sure what she wanted but decided to take things slow, so we did. She wanted things to work out. I met up with her about once or twice a week and each time it was just damn awkward. She expected me to do all the hard work of fixing things by myself. I tried my best to make conversation and be affectionate but the tension felt immense because she gave me NO affection at all. She said that I was being awkward and that I never stopped going on about the problem. She wanted to act as though nothing had happened, but I sensed the barriers were up.

 

She reclaimed her belongings from my house and hugged my goodbye. After that I explained my actions to her via Facebook and she said I was just pissing her off even more and that she wanted nothing to do with me any more, she has lost interest. We work in the same building but different departments so I occasionally see her and it hurts because I'm still very attracted to her and keep thinking about my mistakes and what I've lost. She gave me an ice cold stare yesterday and doesn't even speak to me now. I really thought that our relationship could have been fixed if we agreed to try and communicate a lot more efficiently.

 

She is so bitchy now. Do you think I could possibly re-kindle her interest? I really want to change my bad habits. Why would she be so hateful towards me all of a sudden??

Edited June 1, 2014 by Swan89