markthompson572 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 My girlfriend Amy dumped me after a year and a half. Her reason was she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue being in a relationship. I talked to her over and over saying she was making a mistake but she wouldn't budge. A few weeks later she contacted me saying she was missing me and have been re-thinking us. We met up went out for dinner and had a talk. She said she still liked me but didn't know what she wanted. Two days later she was on a date with another guy. I called her and said "I'm done playing games. I'm not going to sit here and get strung along. You are either with me or not. I can't sit here and put up with this sh**. If you want to leave me for some other guy have fun, you ungrateful bit**" I lost my cool. Its been three weeks and i havent contacted her but i still miss her alot I'm embarrassed at myself for pleading for her to get back with me and then screaming and calling me names. I'm sure she thinks lowly of me now and may have ruined anything in the future (friends, whatever) Is there anyway to make up for what I did
No Limit Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Stay in friggin' NC. You've already seen what comes out of it when you don't. 1
Scorpio Chick Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Have you ever had outbursts like that before with her where you cursed and called her a name? Now, if it was the first time, that was a mistake, and you say as much in your post. I think you need to go no contact, and it sounds like she's really pulled away and for all intents and purposes is going no contact, but if this was the first time of you losing your cool and calling her a name, I would get an 'official' apology to her. Nothing too labored or heavy, maybe a simple little card mailed to her, or a short email and it should say something along the lines of, 'look, I am very sorry for my outburst. I realize now you weren't playing games and I certainly don't think you're a b---h, and I'm just sending you this to apologize. You have every right to call it quits with us and find out what you need. While I have feelings for you, I ultimately want you to be happy. So, having said that, I will now bow out of your life so you can do just that. I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you find just what it is that will make you happy.' Then, 'go no contact', for yourself mostly. You may never hear from her again. But you may, but you're not going no contact as a game, as a strategy. But to me, I think if your outburst was an isolated incident brought on by your fear of losing her, you should apologize and say something like what I wrote above. Hopefully it is sincere to what you truly feel and hopefully it will do some damage control to your reputation in her mind.
lolablue17 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 (edited) I think just like you, but the opposite! No, you didn't embarrass yourself. Instead, she abashed herself. You was a bit carried away because of her ugly behavior, so it's only natural for you to react like you did. You said the right message, with a little bit too strong words, that expressed your justified rage. But she!!! She revealed her true low character. She hurt you by dumping you, and then call you to hurt you again and again. She deliberately ruined your healing process, by calling you and say she is re-thinking, but then went with someone else to a date? There is no other word but - Disgusting! Belive me, she is a selfish wicked despicable creature. You dont want her, and it's worth to feel your pain in order to pay for that lesson you have learned about her. Edited May 31, 2014 by lolablue17 3
Author markthompson572 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Have you ever had outbursts like that before with her where you cursed and called her a name? Now, if it was the first time, that was a mistake, and you say as much in your post. I think you need to go no contact, and it sounds like she's really pulled away and for all intents and purposes is going no contact, but if this was the first time of you losing your cool and calling her a name, I would get an 'official' apology to her. Nothing too labored or heavy, maybe a simple little card mailed to her, or a short email and it should say something along the lines of, 'look, I am very sorry for my outburst. I realize now you weren't playing games and I certainly don't think you're a b---h, and I'm just sending you this to apologize. You have every right to call it quits with us and find out what you need. While I have feelings for you, I ultimately want you to be happy. So, having said that, I will now bow out of your life so you can do just that. I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you find just what it is that will make you happy.' Then, 'go no contact', for yourself mostly. You may never hear from her again. But you may, but you're not going no contact as a game, as a strategy. But to me, I think if your outburst was an isolated incident brought on by your fear of losing her, you should apologize and say something like what I wrote above. Hopefully it is sincere to what you truly feel and hopefully it will do some damage control to your reputation in her mind. it was my first outburst. she broke up with me because i wasnt as involved in the relationship. not on purpose, i have been starting a new career and have been putting alot of focus on that to get off to a good start. so i see where she is coming from. when we talked about it she said she didnt want to hold me back. when i saw her with the guy it was just like a knife went through my chest. it pained me to see her with someone so soon. then the words came out,it reminded me of my ex before. though i have been on nc now i still feel horrible i showed that side
Author markthompson572 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 In a word...no. You went psycho and women don't do too well with psychotic behaviour. You acted like an unrestrained child who starts to cry and kick and scream and yell and pull a fit when they can't get what they want. Very immature and very unappealing. You should have taken the high road and ignored what happened and let that rebound crash and burn. Now, it's way too late. If you want to salvage your dignity (not your relationship... that ship will never re-enter your harbour) go NC and lay off the juice. You're emotional and need to dial down the inner turmoil. really no chance at all?
greenfairie Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Ex bf did the same as he was focusing on his career in baseball and I felt lonely, like I wasn't a priority so I didn't feel as invested into it... I was unhappy too for some time so I decided to end it..... A few weeks later, I get all these texts going ballistic like he was always the kind of guy to keep his cool but instead I get this other side that really truly freaked me out... I pulled away and then I contacted him later on saying I missed him. We aren't together but it was "complicated" for a year and half after that. Too much pain to be "complicated". It's best to go NC.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 really no chance at all? Your dishes are done dude. Emotional outbursts are hard to get past. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I don't see what you did wrong? She made her choice. You reacted and that's that. I'd hardly call that going 'psycho'... I'm sure you could display 'psycho' if you wanted to, but this doesn't sound like that to me... She was playing you, so screw her. Move on and find someone who wants to be with you. She does not!! 2
alexwood Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 i wouldn't say e went psycho. he almost had a right to
Author markthompson572 Posted June 1, 2014 Author Posted June 1, 2014 Your dishes are done dude. Emotional outbursts are hard to get past. First time I had done this. Don't you think she would understand
acidrein_08 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I think you're focusing too much on the last message. That isn't what was wrong with the relationship she wanted out and she was obviously also interested in meeting someone new. She wouldn't have been happy had you been going out on a date a couple of days after, so if she really cared about you she would feel bad and if she wanted things to work out she would contact you. All you can do is work on keeping yourself happy and letting things happen. 3
Mr.Pine Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 really no chance at all? None...whatsoever. The fat lady sang.
Mr.Pine Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I don't see what you did wrong? She made her choice. You reacted and that's that. I'd hardly call that going 'psycho'... I'm sure you could display 'psycho' if you wanted to, but this doesn't sound like that to me... She was playing you, so screw her. Move on and find someone who wants to be with you. She does not!! MB3000, I usually side with your view on things, but this time, your view is a bit askew. Let me quote the OP: If you want to leave me for some other guy have fun, you ungrateful bit**. I lost my cool. He even admits he went off the deep end. Calling a woman names, like beeyotch, will do him no favours. That behaviour is a bit psycho and very immature. He lost his cool and, in turn, lost the girl. End of story.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 First time I had done this. Don't you think she would understand She's not obligated to understand. Some things, once they are done, can't be undone. I had an outburst which caused the break with the ex that brought me here back in the day. It wasn't hateful like yours, but I basically withdrew from her and told her that I couldn't handle things when I was really drunk. That completely changed the dynamics of my relationship and it never got close to being back to what it was. There's nothing you can do here but get up, brush yourself off, and learn from this.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 I dunno... Calling someone 1 name, 1 time (and the B word at that) just hardly seems psycho, especially given the situation. Now if he had launched a cursing tyraid, or smashed things or put holes in the walls, I would consider that psycho behavior. Calling a women who just broke up with you for another man a b*tch? Not so much. Not sayin' it was right, just not psycho. Just my $.02... And I agree with the other poster who said that this episode has very little to do with the overall picture here. Sounds like more of a justification / rationalization by her.
Mr.Pine Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Calling a women who just broke up with you for another man a b*tch? Not so much. Not sayin' it was right, just not psycho. MB3K, He should have taken the high road... Losing your cool and calling someone a beeyotch when you don't get what you want is somewhat psychotic. He's got to learn to keep calm and be a man when things go awry. True worth is how you act in any given situation. He acted in true desperation. He lost it. Then he lost her. Actually, he never even had her. She had already moved on. He merely cemented the door shut and validated her decision to pitch him to the curb.
johnsonracer Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 MB3K, He should have taken the high road... Losing your cool and calling someone a beeyotch when you don't get what you want is somewhat psychotic. He's got to learn to keep calm and be a man when things go awry. True worth is how you act in any given situation. He acted in true desperation. He lost it. Then he lost her. Actually, he never even had her. She had already moved on. He merely cemented the door shut and validated her decision to pitch him to the curb. there must be a lot o psychos then...im sure plenty of people have called their so that
Simon Phoenix Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 there must be a lot o psychos then...im sure plenty of people have called their so that That doesn't mean he should have. The "everyone else is doing it" defense never works in court.
April Moon Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 My two cents: I have never been yelled at or been called a name outside mine (besides cutesy terms). If a man ever did that to me, I would be so done. However, what she did was wrong and hurtful to you. If she acknowledges that, she might be able to forgive you. But based on what you are saying, she might not think what she did was wrong. If this is the case, then she might see you as "losing your cool" for no reason. Don't you think you deserve someone who is sure they want to be with you and doesn't want to play games?
Author markthompson572 Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 i really regret what i said..i wa sjust frustrated and lost my cool....its been a few weeks now and we have talked a bit and nothing seems bad right now
Simon Phoenix Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 i really regret what i said..i wa sjust frustrated and lost my cool....its been a few weeks now and we have talked a bit and nothing seems bad right now Just because she doesn't seem angry with you doesn't mean that she's open to reconciliation. Your thread was titled "Wish I did no contact". It's about time you start doing it.
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