Adele0908 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I dated a man years ago when we were both around age 22 or so, back in college. We had fun and we liked each other, but I didn't want a relationship at the time. We both moved on after some time and had other relationships. He's married now to someone who I went to grad school with. Her Male cousin was also there, and it seemed to be his mission to annoy me to death. Sometimes I wonder if my ex's wife put him up to it, but I don't see how she would know about me. Anyway that's off topic. So what's happened since he got married is that he would email me invites to parties and such, to my personal email and Facebook. He requested me as a friend on other social media. I know he is just a friendly person, but at the same time I think it's strange. I mean, we were intimate and so now I feel like he should not be contacting me. Also I have had the problem of married men hitting on me and trying to be close friends with me. I know that just because people are married doesn't mean they are closed off to the world and to the opposite sex. But it just makes me uncomfortable. Like I don't know how to act. I had a problem like this with my boss. He was married and was also trying to get close to me. I felt that me being semi distant was showing respect for his marriage and respect for myself. So I saw my ex at a party 2 yrs ago and he spoke to me and I shook his hand. No hugs, no inappropriate touching. Then I saw him recently at a party and I was there with a date and he didnt acknowledge me though we made eye contact. But I did see him looking at us. My boss accused me of being standoffish but I was just setting some boundaries. I'm wondering though, if I need to relax a bit, and not treat people different because they are now married. Or are these men just creeps.
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I have lots of EXs who are married & I am married. Sometimes I bump into them but nothing is prearranged; we're not friends on social media etc. I usually hug them casually hello & we exchange cheek kisses in social settings or handshakes in professional ones. It's no big deal but it would be weird for me to seek them out. I don't know why this man is pursuing you. It may all be innocent & he may have little sense but just because he reaches out doesn't mean you have to accept his invitations.
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