Woggle Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 Men have a desire to please their partners. The bitch will never be satisfied, so the man is constantly striving to please her - she becomes a challenge. He gets more attached to her, as she's 'edgy' and challenging (so he thinks, but I bet she doesn't have a lot of good female friends, becasue they see her for what she really is - a rude and greedy bitch), and meanwhile she takes more advantage of his desperation to please her, and becomes contempful of him. Probably withdraws sex too as she knows he will stick around with only a pittance of favours. She moves away from him, doing more and more stuff away from him, he finds this even more alluring and challenging. Finally she leaves him, clears out his bank account, breaks his heart and he has no idea why because he thinks he did everything to please her and provide for her. My exes story of the break up of his marriage and the reason he got bored with me because I am too independant and didn't need him to do stuff for me (his words.) I know so many like this. I would rather be dead than be like that and I am not joking. Being that pathetic isn't living in my book. 2
M30USA Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 This is why the women I date must have the following: Come from a family that isn't broken Believe in the sanctity of marriage Are good communicators in a relationship and are willing to work through issues that come up. Before you jump into a relationship, look at their past. It will tell you what is likely to happen in the future. I disagree. Some great human beings come from so-called "broken homes" while some monsters come from "intact" ones. 1
alwayshere Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I think that the "challenge" aspect could be a big reason for the men dating bitches. ONE time in my life I decided to see if this worked, and I played the old cat and mouse/push pull/bitchy thing....it DID work. The "hot guy" was after me hot and heavy. BUT I hated myself for being that way, and I didn't think much of him for putting up with it. And that was only a couple of weeks. I cannot imagine that dynamic all the time - ugh. For women....if you read most romances, the woman cannot stand the arrogant, pushy, jerky man at the beginning of the book, but of course he is exactly who she "needs" and by the end they fall in love because she was the one woman out of thousands who could tame him. I think THAT is the delusion that prompts a lot of men to go after the jerks and bad boys. No thanks. I don't want some selfish big-headed jerk I have to "tame." And I sure don't want to be a B---.
Revolver Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 The few men I know who date "bitches" are guys with no real options who pretty much took what they could get. It was either A. Stay with this girl B. Go back to the days of spending Saturday nights home alone in my basement 1
No Limit Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 This is why the women I date must have the following: Come from a family that isn't broken Believe in the sanctity of marriage Are good communicators in a relationship and are willing to work through issues that come up. My family is broken and I daresay I've turned out better than most coming from "healthy" families. I always loved it when my bullies chose to use my family and origins to tease me, how these oh so blessed little angels considered family to be a right and how I was an abomination for not having a father at home. But it isn't, it's a privilege, and having a good, real family even more so. On the other hand, the chick who led these lap dog bullies against me too had divorced parents and she was crazy and has been from a young age (c'mon, a girl sending away naked pictures during the 6th grade? Her body isn't even developed, there's nothing to see anyway!) so I won't mind if people are cautious at first. "Willing to work through issues that come up" still have boundaries, but thankfully communicating makes up for it mostly.
ascendotum Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 You described her as above average in looks + a bit exotic. You did not describe this guy in terms of his looks. The terms you used to describe him make him sound like a good long term stable partner & provider, but nothing there to get this women excited over. A "good man" (maybe also slightly boring personality which is why you dont mention it), does not make a guy a good catch for a lot of women, especially if they have been used to dating different in their sexier years. My guess is he thinks she is a fair bit sexier than his 'ordinary ex'. He thinks she is the best he can get, so is prepared to put up with some bitchiness for the sake of staying together. She probably had strs, fwb, ons with more attractive & exciting men than him so and he does not arouse her to the same degree, and she's not enthusiastic to get married because maybe she hopes something better will come along or does not want to resign herself to the finality that this is the last guy in her life & she is going to be settling. just a guess! I've seen this scenario play out in a number of guys I know. The woman is arguably the slightly more attractive, and has had a more eventful love life then the guy (avg joe shmoe "nice guy"). She goes in with the upper hand because she knows she has (or at least had) more options than he did. The guy is a bit desperate + has lower confidence and plays into this dynamic. The flip side is, the guy owns a house + has good job, whereas she is not doing all that flash $/career/health wise and a few years down the line and they match even on looks anyway. Really though the bitch side did not come out fully until they had some claims on the guy (marriage, bought house she wanted, had baby), so while it was clear to me and few other friends that the women were not that passionate over the guy, it was not a case of the guys being attracted to a bitch. In the OP, they are together 4 yrs, so it "seems" to be working for them, well for him anyway. I'm sure you see the imbalance in enthusiasm and think it a bad thing...and it might be a little down the line, but at 4yrs it seems to still be meeting their needs. Maybe he doesn't want an 'amazingly smart' women like you say, but would rather have a sexier skankier exotic woman with a bit of attitude, especially if he has never really a had a gf he could call sexy/hot in his life. I agree totally with SD on the differences in men/women vs bitches/jerks. In my observations over the years. the women with jerks have plenty of options. The guys with bitches much less so. That's why I think these comparisons on here are crap especially when it phrased as guys chasing after bitches. The qualifier is in situations where the woman is sexy/hot and that motivates the guy to overlook her moody crappy attitude. If the guy has plenty of options then they won't stick around for that long.
Author readynow Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Very interesting responses guys, it seems there are as many views as there are posters. I've seen relationships where the person is just smitten with their bitch / jerk and those attitudes are just part of the package. When I was a 'bitch' in this sort of relationship (not my words), my bf just laughed at his sister and said, 'she's just a little feisty, that's all' - I wasn't really into the relationship anymore but didn't want to break his heart. When I finally managed to break it up, he was devastated and would try anything to have us back together. He even moved on to a really nice lady and when we happened to run into each other and started communicating again, he unceremoniously ended that relationship 'to give us a chance'. No, we didn't get back together - for me, it was well and truly over. Then there are people who think they could never do better and just hold on regardless, there are some who are addicted to this sort of relationship and just can't break that cycle of being with people who don't value them... It never ceases to amaze me though. I've seen married couples who have this dynamic, especially where the man is so good and the woman is just a bitch! The man always seems so content though, so fine with his predicament... Maybe it's the challenge thing... This is different from women who are with jerks though - the women are usually very unhappy, enduring borderline abuse. 1
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