Xiang Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I just got the biggest slap to the face and should be awarded some kind of prize for what i have done. I deserve it, total moron that i am. I got in contact with a old x of mine, no intentions we talked and hung out a lot and got along very well. I was starting to maybe feel something for her, but i was like nah, i like this friendship business. So she likes a guy and doesn't know what to do, i help them get toghether. THat guy get's jealous she spends to much time with me, OK understandable. She wants to break off all contact with me so she can focus on her guy...also understandable, sortof. But she just started acting cold, said we can't talk and was really harsh to me. No "sorry" no "bye" no "thanks" for all the things i did for her and i guess she took for granted. She didn't say it, but her behavior said it. "You can go now i don't need you anymore, thanks for being my lap-dog". Believe me i did a lot for this lady because i thought we we're best friends, did a lot of stuff toghether, to suddently end up like this. My only question. How can someone throw it away just like that ?:|
lop98 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I went through this with my ex. I was having problems with my boyfriend and he gave me great advice and was so supportive and understanding... of course I couldn't even tell my boyfriend because he'd freak out I talk to my ex AND am getting advice from the ex!. Thing is, we'd talk once every two weeks, then once a week, every 4 days, every two days, everyday, twice a day, up to 4 hours a day... this was all his initiative by saying he cared a lot about me. Whenever I couldn't text him back (sometimes for days) he was hurt and would start ranting at me by how I was using him as a distraction or stringing him along... then he would get romantic and I'd feel confused. I really wish I had stopped it when I could, just the way your ex has done it... it doesn't mean she's insensitive or a bad person, she cares about you but her priority is the relationship she's in now. Just like you know how much it would affect a relationship if the girl you're with was constantly in touch with her ex, you need to understand now that this type of support coming from an "ex" has a deadline... you decided to take it and hopefully knew you were not included in the outcome.
organizedchaos Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 This is why you don't try to be friends with an ex. Friendly if by chance you run in to them? Sure. But you can't be "buddies" I just don't get why you'd want to be unless MANY years have passed. What's the point? Be with friends who didn't want to walk out of your life to see if they could find someone better! 1
Raena Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 That's the thing about being friends with members of the opposite sex. It doesn't always last. I'm not saying men and women can't be friends, but if either of them gets involved with someone else, it could eventually cause a problem. It takes a LOT of conversations and open understanding on the part of all the people involved to make it work, but it usually doesn't. The fact that she was an "ex" of yours makes a difference too. Most people don't really want to be involved with someone who is still hanging out with or talking to someone they used to sleep with or date. Look at it like this... she isn't slapping you in the face and saying thank you for being my lap dog. She's telling you that she really likes this guy and wants to make it work. In order for that to happen, she can't hang out with or talk to you all the time anymore. It sucks, but it's a normal reaction. In my experience, the only way a friendship like this works out is if you become good friends with her new man as well and know when to back off and leave them alone. Wish her well and enjoy the time you had with her. Not everyone is meant to be part of our lives forever.
Author Xiang Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Ik it could or would happen. But i was hoping for a lil bit of a speech or something since we part ways. She just booted me, made me feel like she didn't appreciate any of it and used me. That's the whole problem i have with this situation. 1
Mcnulty Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted about this in the friends section a few days ago...it's cowardly when you don't get an explanation.
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