realfriends Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 You know, sometimes I still miss her a lot. Sometimes I want to see her again and talk to her. 5 years is a long time to be with someone and to go cold turkey with them being out of your life is hard. I play it out in my head, "what if I had the b*lls to text her". I would be straight forward with my intentions (even though they make no sense because I am the dumpee and begged originally). And then I realize a possible text that could come from that. " Sorry ____, I have a bf now". Feeling a little down. Wishing for a breadcrumb. Missing her a bit. 4
jbc1470 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Feel your pain my friend. I recently made contact via facebook with my X and at the time it seemed like an amazing idea as I was obsessing over it and did give me a form of release. I did message with a picture of me and my daughter saying! "You choose uncle fester over us two"? as she had just got with a guy who in my view looked the double of him. needless to say she messaged me back straight away telling me of all my faults and a few days on I regret ever making contact. In your situation I would advise not to....... if she called it off from you then, the ball is 100% in her court and you texting something so deep, will only boost her up again. the secret of people getting back together after a long breakup is them missing each other, you will know this if she contacts you. I wish i gave myself this advice before!!! 1
learning_slowly Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 If it is bugging you so much, do it. But as aforementioned, you'll only get pain. But maybe you need to realise it's not worth texting her anymore?
Author realfriends Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 No. Im 6 months NC deep and in a much better place. I just dont understand where these feelings are coming from. I know its just a road bump but I dont like it. I saw one of her family members the other day by chance after this started happening. Tried to be as brief as possible and not talk about anything regarding the ex or her family. I have seen that my ex is snap chatting my friend frequently which is fine ( for those who dont know how snapchat work, you dont have to be friends with someone for this as I am not). Im just having a ****ing itch right now. To text her. To unblock her. Its not worth it. Help me out. What is causing this. 1
Lizie29 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 DONT do it ! 6 months is soooo good ! U will regret it and be back to square one . And trust me this is the worst feeling ever stay strong ... And the snapchat thing is probably to make u upset or mad .. Cause doing it to your friends who she probably knows will tell you ? She wants u to contact her probably .. Dont give her what she wants .. If she wants it that bad SHE will make an effort to contact you . Im a woman i know what im talking about .
Author realfriends Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Trust me. I won't. Like I said, its kinda like the 6 month itch I guess. Just have to persevere :/
bluenote Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 its a real dificult one, you have to have mental resolve to overcome this. I struglle with a similar situation for 18 months, and there is a baby involved which makes it even more dificult. I had to create mental scenarios to retrain my mind. I deduced that if my woman cheats on me and does that despite my plea then there must be something going very wrong. I'm convinced that I am inadequate for her needs, maybe my endowment or performance. I tell myself this inspite of the possibility that it may have been other reasons which she did not comunicate to me but that I seriously doubt. I gave her my all and she was or pretended/seemed happy at the time, knowing what she was doing. If I am inadequate for her then it will still be the case if I persue her still and somehow manage to win her back, she will still cheat or run away fast. This means that its useless to do that, I tell myself that I love her and want her so much, I long for her, that she is the one, I am in pain for what she did and for loosing her that way, but given my deduction I can't equal her needs and therefore I can't have her, then I tell myself that I must carry this hurt and that with time I will get used to it. This realy helps me to avoid that overwhelming urge to contact her. Perhaps it won't work for you but talk to yourself and make it practical according to your needs, but be strong you are a man and you can endure.
No Limit Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 You should eat your phone sooner than texting him. 1
Rig88 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 You've done really well going NC so far! We've all been there at some point and sometimes the temptation to contact someone is unbearable. I hate to be the one who says this because I remember when I've been in your position I just wanted people to sugar coat the truth and encourage me that she'd come back and that everything would be ok but now I realise that people were being better friends towards me by encouraging me to stay away. The chances are , if she's not contacting you then she doesn't want to be contacted. If you contact her and she doesn't reply you're just going to feel awful about yourself. Stay strong and fill your life with happy positive things and people.
Author realfriends Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 So, Ive blocked her number. Some will say that it needed to be done awhile ago. Maybe so. It was one of the last things I was kind of holding onto. Ive done this before. Ive unblocked her many time, but this time is different. It'll be surprising to see how it I feel when my birthday comes around and she's blocked. Sometimes I wish there was a way that told them they were blocked.
Nimbus4dt Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Sometimes I wish there was a way that told them they were blocked. If they are curious to know if they are blocked, they will phone using another phone and with hold the number, hang up when you answer or not leave a message when you don't answer. This is what mine (I suspect) did just the other evening (NC36 days) on my mobile (it logs all calls). She'd (in my case) be pretty stupid not to think she wasn't blocked as she is on everything else e.g.. Facebook, Linkedin, e-mails etc etc etc But for them to bother or even care about it is another matter, mine may care about it as she is unable to breadcrumb but I actually think she is not even fussed, just curious and prob annoyed at my "childish" action (I can hear it now!!!) NC 6 months, well done, I look forward to being where you are, after that time you seriously don't need to contact her! 1
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