ARoomwithaView Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 (edited) We had a whirlwind, passionate affair that began with dates, but turned into FWB for 8 months (he was passionate about me, but it was nothing more than lust and pleasure in my company). Our times together were flawless on my end... he got gold class treatment and I was everything a man could basically wish for, down to the trusting, laid-back, and 'cool' part. He loved being around me... he was at his 95% best, sweetest and most giving, as long as he got what he wanted. The other 5% was his red flag, mean, critical, shallow, flaky, manipulative wtf side (accounts of his past behaviors toward women included) that kept popping up from time to time. I broke it off with him nearly 2 months ago, because I wanted more and he didn't. He took it badly, was angry with me, told me we couldn't be friends without sex, and I thought that was that. I went no contact. However, he keeps txting me every week for one reason or another, but doesn't turn them into real conversations nor does he outright ask to meet me (he did last time but as I didn't answer, he changed his mind). I'm pretty sure he's on the narcissistic spectrum based on his other behavior, and that this is him making sure I don't stray too far as his narcissistic supply. I'm still attached to him, unable to let go completely, and part of me hopes he's contacting me weekly because he really misses me and wants me back, but is too cowardly to do the right thing by me. The other part of me thinks he just wants to see if I'll respond when he calls -- just a game he plays when he feels low or bored. What do you guys think? Edited May 31, 2014 by ARoomwithaView
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 He texts you because he wants his benefits back. If he wanted a full blown relationship he'd show up at your door with flowers. If the benefits were all that, go on an enjoy yourself. If things were getting confusing & you were developing feelings, stay strong & stay away. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 He wants the nookie. That's all it is. He liked having sex with you and wants to continue. Like d0nnivain said, if you are fine with him in that way and have no feelings, then go for it. It sounds like you want a romantic relationship though, and that isn't what he wants at all. Once a man sleeps with you, it's really hard for him to change his perception of you. If he was interested in you romantically in the long term, he'll continue to up the ante. If he was interested enough to date you but didn't really see a long-term future, he'll date you until he decides he wants to sample something else. If he sees you as a friends-with-benefits, that's all you will ever be to him. So if you choose to engage in this, be aware that you are almost certainly agreeing to the same situation that didn't fit your needs before.
jbelle6 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 He's horny. And "laid back" "cool" friends with benefits don't want more and they don't analyze the motives of their FWB. 1
CaliGypsy Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 He's testing the waters. He's hoping when he texts you'll initiate your past FWB. He still doesn't want a more meaningful relationship so he has nothing else to say. 1
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