effie Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 (edited) Everyone on LS was very helpful last time I came here. This time, I'm not sure I need advice exactly, but I feel the need to talk about this. I am super loyal to my sister and would never say these things to my friends or family. It's the kind of thing I would have talked to my husband about, but can't do that any more. So, here goes. When we were younger, everyone loved my sister, and wanted to either be her friend or date her. She was so happy and carefree and fun. Even I looked up to her and wanted to be close to her, and she hated me, and wanted nothing to do with me. To be blunt, now she is kind of angry and bitter, and kind of a bitch. She hates everyone, but at the same time will complain and whine and feel bad that no one likes her and she has no friends. It makes me really sad, but also frustrates me quite a bit sometimes, and today is one of those times; although for no particular reason, except that maybe I need someone to sympathize with me instead of thinking of only herself for a change. She just doesn't get along with anyone, and what's worse is she has this horrible attitude like she shouldn't have to get along with anyone because everyone is stupid and/or sucks. She hasn't had one friend since freshman year of college (which is "coincidentally" when she met her bf/now husband). That is also about the time that she started being nice to me and interested in being friends. Which I love, but also makes me feel kind of used. She is a manager and she has hated every single one of her subordinates, just has terrible relationships with all of them. Every time she gets a new employee she immediately hates him or her and it just gets worse over time. She then starts complaining about how they don't respect her and so on. She gets angry about every single that happens in her office, whether it has to do with a subordinate or a colleague or her own managers. She hates all of her husband's friends and all of their wives/girlfriends. If he ever has anyone over or wants to have a party or anything she complains about it non-stop and about how annoyed she is that he is having people over (or going to someone else's party, wedding, event) and is expected to spend time with them. This is actually something I could understand, except that it seems to be part of a larger problem with her. I have tried to include her with my friends, but almost 100% of the time she will say that she is coming to whatever event, and then the day of she will back out. Basically, I will invite her to things and just plan on her not coming, even if she says that she will. We had a dynamic where she would come one time to something, so my friends would invite her to the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing....and after months of her saying no or just canceling at the last minute they stopped inviting her. Most of the time she would cancel because of her husband - he wanted to do something else that day, or whatever. Or, in a couple cases, if it was a party or something and not a girls-only thing, she wouldn't go/cancel because her husband didn't like someone that was invited or something really dumb like that. She was mad or annoyed that she was invited to something (omg, she would get so offended at being invited to something, either because she didn't like the person who invited her, or she didn't like what she was invited to - like it would be a potluck and she would be pissed that the host wasn't "hosting" by asking people to bring something), and then when she stopped being invited she was annoyed, even though at that point she hadn't seen or spoken to the people who stopped inviting her in almost a year. And all the while she is complaining that she doesn't have any friends. I could go on about this for awhile, but I'm going to get to why this is bothering me right now. Since the issues with my husband that brought me here over a year ago, I have been having a hard time. Especially in the last few months. In the last 10 weeks, there is ONE time that I left my house other than to go to work. That was for one short social event. I am just feeling very down and like I don't have people I can talk to, so I try to talk to my sister. Except that she does not have time to see me, because she is doing something with her husband, or she doesn't feel like driving to see me, or something else equally lame. She would never dream of telling her husband no - she will have plans with me or someone else, and will cancel because at the last possible second he said "Let's go do XYZ". Tonight, she wouldn't come see me after work, even though I am one hour closer to her office than her own house is, but is like "you can come over if you want though" - well why would I sit in rush hour traffic for 2 hours to go see her? Especially when it would take her 20 minutes to get to my house? The only time I ever see her is if I go to her. When I tried to talk to her about how bored and lonely I am, and how I haven't left the house in so long, her response was "Well I haven't seen anyone but my husband in 5 months". Which is actually untrue; she has seen lots of people socially; what she means is her husband is her only friend and the only person she has any desire to see....although she supposedly wants friends and doesn't understand why people don't like her. I wanted to scream at her. That's because SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. SHE HATES EVERYONE. I also want to tell her part of the reason she doesn't have any friends is she will bend over backward for her husband but she can't be bothered to meet anyone else even halfway. Blah Edited May 31, 2014 by effie
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