iceisles Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 This is just a hypothetical that I'm throwing out there to get some thoughts on. If you met someone you really liked and wanted to be with, would you consider not dating them if they smoked (assuming you didn't)? I don't know about you folks, but I would have to think long and hard about this. Smoke really bothers me, and I know it sounds awful to turn someone away for that reason, but I could see myself doing it. Of course, I could put up with it if they were trying to quit. Do any of you feel the same way? Do you think it's wrong to write someone off just because second-hand smoke bothers you? And for those of you in relationships where one of you smokes and the other doesn't, how do deal with that? As, always thanks for your thoughts!
Author iceisles Posted February 11, 2005 Author Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale hey man, i smoke cigs And I have nothing against those that do. But second-hand smoke bothers me quite a bit. Should this be an important factor in dating, or is this just something minor that can be worked on between two people?
Devildog Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Depends on the part of it that bothers you. If you don't like the second hand smoke, they can always take it outside. If you don't like kissing someone who tastes like an ashtray, that is a different story.
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles And I have nothing against those that do. But second-hand smoke bothers me quite a bit. Should this be an important factor in dating, or is this just something minor that can be worked on between two people? its a minor issue for me. sure some chick-a-dees won't go out w/ me cause i smoke but others don't care. smokers tend to be more assertive, fun, exciting and risk-takers. just what some chicks dig.
_Saffy_ Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 i dont smoke, but i would say 75% of the people i associate with do...........my ex smoked but hated smoking in my presence and would go outside or stand a bit away if we were out somewhere. i went out with my mother last night, she smokes, we sat in a smoking section, its fine. i know we all have things that we just dont/cant tolerate, but this doesnt matter to me at all.
Author iceisles Posted February 11, 2005 Author Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by _Saffy_ i dont smoke, but i would say 75% of the people i associate with do That's very true - many folks do. I would hate to turn away someone just because they smoke. In fact, many of my friends that do wish they could stop. They aren't smoking because they enjoy it, really. I think a lot of people find it helps them relax, but there are much better ways to that, IMO.
SadAndLonely Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I hate the way people who smoke smell and taste, I have asthma, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, so there's no way in hell I could ever date someone who smoked, regardless of how much I liked them. However, I have friends who smoke, and I just make sure I'm not around them when they do.
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by SadAndLonely I hate the way people who smoke smell and taste, I have asthma, and I'm allergic to cigarette smoke oh yeah?! well I'm allergic to people with asthma.
bluechocolate Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale oh yeah?! well I'm allergic to people with asthma. hypothetically - I'd have to say I wouldn't go out with a smoker, but that's because I've just quit smoking, after smoking for a long time, so I wouldn't put myself in temptations way. My partner quit at the same time so no worries there - we've had people 'round who do smoke & I've no problem with them smoking in the house (after all I did it for yonks) & I don't want to become one of those rabid non-smokers.
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by bluechocolate & I don't want to become one of those rabid non-smokers. ahh, eventually you will BLUECHOCOLATE. you know as well as I that the most militant anti-smokers are the ex-smokers. once you quit you have two paths: 1) become militant nazi anti-smoker, or 2) start smoking again. period.
tiki Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Iceisles, I would not date someone that smoked. In my adult years, I haven't dated one smoker.
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Iceisles, I would not date someone that smoked. In my adult years, I haven't dated one smoker. i'm a smoker and usually date non-smoking females.
bluechocolate Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale ahh, eventually you will BLUECHOCOLATE. you know as well as I that the most militant anti-smokers are the ex-smokers. Precisely why I don't want to go down that road (and they are so tedious, aren't they?) once you quit you have two paths: 1) become militant nazi anti-smoker, or 2) start smoking again. period. You are very absolutist about things - I sincerely hope that isn't the case
Author iceisles Posted February 11, 2005 Author Posted February 11, 2005 I think I would try dating a smoker and see how it goes. I would hope it's something they would be considerate about - like not lighting up in my car, etc.
DinNJ Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 <----- use to smoke occasionally.... now, during NC.... smokes like a chimney. and doesn't care if I date a smoker or not. Wait, that's not true... the last girl I dated, STANK like an ashtray morning, noon and night. It was aweful.... and could've been fixed, providing she worked on her personal hygiene.... FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN ! Brush yo' teeth before coming to bed!!!
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by bluechocolate You are very absolutist about things - I sincerely hope that isn't the case just kidding around BC
JoL Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Hmm...well prior to my last boyfriend, who was a smoker, i would say how much i disliked smoking, and i wouldnt want to date a smoker..i have never smoked and neither did the guys i dated. Well..something called IRONY happened. my ex turned up to our first date with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. The first words i uttered to him where "Do you SMOKE?!" Anway, he turned out to be an abusive psycho and continued smoking for the duration of our relationship, claiming, each and every week that he was going to quit- even though i never told him this was something i wanted. My point is- i dont care if a guy smokes, as long as he isnt a nutcase!
tiki Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale i'm a smoker and usually date non-smoking females. Chances are, they think you stink.
alphamale Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Chances are, they think you stink. they do TIKI. but i have so many other positive qualities that offset the stench. and anyways, some of the women had stinky pu$$ies so we were even.
HokeyReligions Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Everyone has different priorities. If smoking, or rather not smoking is important to you then not dating a smoker is the right thing to do. I have a drink once in a blue moon, but there is a history of alcoholism in my family and I refused to date anyone who drank. My husband does not drink at all. When we've given parties, or gone to parties, I will have a couple of drinks. He doesn't mind even though not drinking was on my priority list and not his! Smoking is the same way. I smoked for years, quit when I met my husband (he doesn't smoke either and never has) and then after eight years I started smoking again. Then I quit again. He has handled it well since I didn't smoke inside, unless I was sitting in my breakfast room by the window and the window was open. If its your priority stick to it. Don't date someone who says they are going to quit -- it may never happen, or they could turn into a lunatic during the withdrawals!
tiki Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale they do TIKI. but i have so many other positive qualities that offset the stench. and anyways, some of the women had stinky pu$$ies so we were even. You rule alpha. Just when I think that women are a cool species, you remind me that we are not! I love LS.
Hund1976 Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I also wouldn't date a smoker, nor would I date someone who was an alcoholic or did lines of coke for breakfast. I know people who hate smoke and then go out with a smoker and try to make them quit the whole time. To me you shouldn't pick people to date that classify as "fixer uppers" if you can't live with them they way they are when you meet them then you should stear clear and find someone more compatible.
HotCaliGirl Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I never wanted to date a smoker - I am a health nut - vegetarian, exercise, take vitamins etc... I've been in a long term relationship with a smoker who smokes a lot. It makes my eyes burn and sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about that because as my eyes tear, he'll light another one. My clothes end up stinking, I get my hair done professionally and it just ends up stinking as soon as I get to his place and he starts puffing away as I sit next to him. The sad part is that I think I am starting to get addicted to it from being second-hand and will have cravings for it when I'm not around him which scares me a lot... I make him smoke outside when he comes to my place but he doesn't do that at his place, which is where we spend almost all the time. And I'm not the type of person who preaches to not smoke, just like I'm not the type of vegetarian who would tell someone to not eat meat - I can't stand that behavior...
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