Cakess Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 My boyfriend of two years has mutually decided with me that we should take a break. I love him dearly but there's many things about our relationship that is driving me away right now. I'm not crazy about his decision to join the national guard, we hardly see each other anymore, he's always busy when I want to see him, he doesn't let me in on his plans, is boring on the phone, isn't loving, won't take me out, bring flowers, etc... There's stuff on me too. I'm having a hard time getting my life together and my goals, I don't open up about my family problems, and I've picked up a habit of smoking and partying to vent that he's not crazy about either. So we've decided that since we haven't met in person in over a month, we'll take the time and just separate. No calls, no emails. Nothing. But we agreed not to see anyone else during this time. I expect not to see him again in person until mid June. I don't want to dump him but I also don't want things back the way they are now. How should I best approach my needs to him one final time after we meet up again? I feel like if this doesn't work I'm going to throw in the towel.
jbelle6 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I've never seen a break NOT turn into a breakup. I find that people use the break excuse to explore other options that may have turned up. If anyone says they want a break, just break up with them. From your post it doesn't seem like you'd be missing much without him anyways. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard but if you are just an option for him, why would you want him? 1
elseaacych Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Well, before you take the break, maybe you should communicate to him that you don't want a break up, and keep in some form of contact, maybe a phone call or something once a week to keep each other updated on the "progress" you are both making to put your life together. It isn't much, but it's better than nothing. 1
Author Cakess Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 I've never seen a break NOT turn into a breakup. I find that people use the break excuse to explore other options that may have turned up. If anyone says they want a break, just break up with them. From your post it doesn't seem like you'd be missing much without him anyways. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard but if you are just an option for him, why would you want him? We're just really good together. I just think the LDR thing we had to go through because I was in college plus us both mutually trying to establish ourselves as self sufficient adults has taken a lot of the romance out of our relationships and I want to bring it back, it's just my previous attempts all seem to come off like nagging to him so I just let it be. This time I really want us to talk it over.
jbelle6 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I think that's best, if you try to push too much now he'll only pull away. Let him come to you. I think that's your hope. I think you will lose him for sure if you don't give him the space he asks for. It's just usually people who want a break like that are exploring other options so be careful. It's not normal for people in love to want a month no contact. Good luck, like I said, I know it's really hard. 1
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