nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I cannot function. I cannot think rationally. I am messed up over this guy. I started to like J about a month ago, and ever since then my life has been this horrible roller coaster. I slept with him twice in two weeks. I know, bad. Ever since, he has been either treating me like A) a princess, or B) a crazy person. Sometimes he will text me all day long and invite me out and act like I'm his girlfriend, and sometimes he will act like I have the freaking plague. The last straw was today. Yesterday, he was acting OH so sweet. I had to take a VERY DIFFICULT nursing exam that my job depended on (we both work in the same department in a hospital) and he was sending me all of these encouraging little pictures and was acting so excited when I passed...and I BARELY passed...he then said, "Tomorrow we're going to celebrate and I'll buy you drinks!" A couple of hours later, he and another coworker decided to play a FUNNY little joke on me, called me, and pretended like they were the people who gave the test...and told me I had to reschedule and take it again. So I flipped out over the phone, pretty much had a conniption, started to cry...when they told me it was them all along. Haha. VERY funny. He did not text me again all night. So today, regardless, I was excited, I got all fancied up because I knew we would both be out of work at the same time (3ish)...he said he was buying me drinks... And he again, ignored me like the plague. At about noon, I saw J walk into another coworker's office, tell him he was heading out of town for the weekend, and left. My heart sank. So, not thinking about trying to play it cool like I have been, I texted him with "Wow, thanks. Not cool. I thought we were friends and you ditched me. That really really hurt my feelings. So forget about it." So he says "Didn't know it was a big thing, sorry" To which I responded, "Well, it still hurt my feelings a lot. It's ok, we're still friends, have a fun trip, but I'm still pretty mad, lol" Although my freaking heart was twisted in a knot and still is. No response. I don't know if I can face this guy every day or what I'm supposed to do about this. This really really sucks.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 He's not into you the way you are into him. He sounds immature, quite frankly, and not interested in a relationship. Don't make any further plans with him, and certainly do not sleep with him again. He's playing you like a fiddle. Also, ditch the "lol" at the end of serious messages. You were hurt. You don't have pretend that everything is ok. 2
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 Yeah, I know that deep down. It really really sucks though. Do you think that my texts to him today were crazy-person texts and he's going to tell everyone at work that I'm nuts??
ExpatInItaly Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Yeah, I know that deep down. It really really sucks though. Do you think that my texts to him today were crazy-person texts and he's going to tell everyone at work that I'm nuts?? They weren't crazy in the slightest. Why would you assume so? That doesn't mean he won't tell people you're crazy, but you have every right to defend yourself if needed. Is he a malicious type of person?
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 I don't know...I just always assume that I'm acting like a crazy person, because I try so hard not to. Especially after I flipped out about the phone prank.
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 And honestly, I don't want him to think that I like him as much as I do. What really irritated me was he referred to me as a "girl that likes him" to one of his friends. He is so arrogant and I honestly don't even know why I like him...maybe just because I can't have him.
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 Before...? He flirted with me a lot. Not anymore. I know, my fault for being a skank.
Kamila Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Oww, no, it's not your fault. He gave you flirty vibes and you acted on it. You didn't know he would turn on you this way. Learn from it. A flirty guy doesn't mean he wants something long term, even after you sleep with him.
sagetalk Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Before...? He flirted with me a lot. Not anymore. I know, my fault for being a skank. Low self esteem is the problem. It is like an epidemic with girls now days. Frighting. Treat this guy like the loser he is (stop interacting with him) and find a man that actually improves your life. 1
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 I just find it so hard to meet anyone that I don't work with. I had a boyfriend for years, and no friends...so now I have no friends, and no boyfriend, so where else am I supposed to meet someone? This whole thing has turned so ugly. I feel like I look like an absolute fool for being psychotic about the prank and then telling him how much he hurt my feelings. I just wanted to be cool about this whole thing and act like I didn't care, just like he does, and I end up looking like the loser that I am.
mammasita Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I just find it so hard to meet anyone that I don't work with. I had a boyfriend for years, and no friends...so now I have no friends, and no boyfriend, so where else am I supposed to meet someone? This whole thing has turned so ugly. I feel like I look like an absolute fool for being psychotic about the prank and then telling him how much he hurt my feelings. I just wanted to be cool about this whole thing and act like I didn't care, just like he does, and I end up looking like the loser that I am. It's not hard, you're not trying. Go out, joint meet up groups, online dating.....it's not hopeless.
Targetlock Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 yep sounds like a immature jerk to me, ditch this loser and get a real man who deserves your attention. i also learnt don't date co-workers
stillafool Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I just find it so hard to meet anyone that I don't work with. I had a boyfriend for years, and no friends...so now I have no friends, and no boyfriend, so where else am I supposed to meet someone? This whole thing has turned so ugly. I feel like I look like an absolute fool for being psychotic about the prank and then telling him how much he hurt my feelings. I just wanted to be cool about this whole thing and act like I didn't care, just like he does, and I end up looking like the loser that I am. Can't you make friends with some of the women you work with and go out with them and have fun? Are there single women where you work?
firmness Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Nadine. You are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Love/infatuation is many things to many people, but for most people who feel like you do, it is all about chemicals. Serotonin, oxytocin, and other hormones are rushing around to create "pair bonding". Unfortunately for you, our society is a bit weird about relationships. People expect men to "settle down" and get married too quickly. Marriage is a HORRIBLE contract that is patently unfair and very much against the average man's best interests. He might not know this, but his instincts are telling him to run. He is pulling away and the best thing you can do is play it cool and let him back off a bit. If you cling too much and let the chemicals and resulting emotions rule your behavior (you pretty much already did this) he will likely pull back even more. Let him go. If he comes back then great. And just one more piece of advice. If you EVER ever EVER say you are angry at him ever again - you should leave him. You do not understand what "angry" really means. Saying this to a man is very manipulative. If he gives into this he deserves everything you will do to him. So watch that one. You should never utter those words ever again. Good luck.
Author nadine5 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 There are no single women in my department...the only women are 50+ and married with kids. I am 29, so unfortunately we have nothing in common. I'm starting to think this might have something to do with the way I look. I have a good body but my nose is pretty big and my chin sticks out too far. I'm just not good enough.
sagetalk Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I'm starting to think this might have something to do with the way I look. I have a good body but my nose is pretty big and my chin sticks out too far. I'm just not good enough. In the famous words of Charlie Brown, "Good grief". Please do yourself, your family, society. and your future children a huge favor. Stay away from dating until you improve your self esteem. You will attract jerks like a magnet otherwise and fall for it every time.
bluegreen Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Are you ready to completely kick this "creep" out of your life ? If not no matter what we say will not work he will throw a crumb you will run like little puppy yipping and jumping from pure happiness. I kindly suggest you answer yes and then we can help Your health sanity "job" might go to hell in hand basket over this worthless maggot ...
Leeway Harris Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I don't think you did anything wrong. I think he acted really inconsiderate and should apologize to you. And please don't start thinking you're not good enough.
FitChick Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Unfortunately for you, our society is a bit weird about relationships. People expect men to "settle down" and get married too quickly. Marriage is a HORRIBLE contract that is patently unfair and very much against the average man's best interests. He screwed her twice. They never even dated. How is this about marriage? If marriage is indeed so horrible, why is it that divorced men remarry at a much higher rate than divorced women and in every survey I've read over the years, married men are happier, healthier and live longer than single men. Better get your burial plot paid off soon.
Kamila Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Low self esteem is the problem. It is like an epidemic with girls now days. Frighting. Treat this guy like the loser he is (stop interacting with him) and find a man that actually improves your life. Wise words. Try working at your low self esteem and being more self assured. Take maybe assertiveness classes ? Or something that improves your state of mind ? You should indeed find a guy that will add a certain value to your life, not diminish it. Even if you feel those so-called 'love hormones'.
Author nadine5 Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 I'm panicked. So, I went out with this guy a couple times. Unfortunately, he works with me. -_- Last week, I had a conniption because I realized that he didn't like me as much as I thought he did (found him active on Match) and I texted my sister about it. The texts went a little something like this: "Why the &$%* doesn't he like me...why the &$^% is he online dating, am I not good enough for him?...I need some meds, what's our doctor's phone number...I am flipping the &$%* out right now!!!...I am so sad, I like him so much and he does not give a %&$ about me..." So, these were my texts. A week went by, and I was REALLY good with the guy. I didn't talk to him, pretended like I wasn't interested but still polite...etc. So of course, the game always works, and he came up to my desk all flirty, asking what I was doing later, etc. I didn't text my sister again until today. I sent her a hilarious picture. Without thinking about it, I showed him the picture. He said he needed to see it better. He took my phone. Before I realized it, he was reading my text messages. I don't know how far he got. All I know is that it took me quite a bit of time to realize what he was doing, get off my chair, run around the desk, and grab my phone. So, then, he left. Without saying a word. I am mortified. I am SO mortified. WHAT should I do? ANY advice? I feel like death.
HappyLove Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 He's a jerk! He shouldn't be reading your texts! Instead of being upset at yourself you should be mad at him! 3
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