bluenote Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I ask myself everyday why am I so into this person, everything is about her. What does she have that gives her the power to run my mind. For sure many will say its me that I am so needy, no self worth no self confidence that I don't love myself enough, well ok same diferrence, I still have the problem. I mean I manage an institution and lead ten people and I make conscious decisions about very important issues, I can't be doing this if I have the above issues. Seriously, its year and six months and I still hurt, although my mind is now clearer I still suffer inside, I so want her but I can never be with her. It was my decision but she brought it on. Its almost asif she broke up, yes infact she did break my heart. I never could imagine that a person hurts you like that it feels evil. I told my ex that she plays with fire, I have seen people go mad or crazy and end up in mental institutions for broken love, I have seen people kill their lovers for broken hearts, they now call this passion killing. My own cousin shot his lady and commited suicide after. Why is it so dificult to the extend that a learned person can resort to such extremes. Is there any one answer?
flightplan Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 In essence what you're saying is you're powerless. This person has an ungodly amount of power over my ability to manage my emotions. Do you really believe this? Deep down you know they don't but you continue to surrender your power to her. I won't pretend to be able to diagnose your problem in a forum, but my first inclination is to believe you have a real self loathing for yourself... or are afraid, for whatever reason, to take responsibility for your power. I suppose you may think that if she validates your emotions, you will feel whole? Talk to a professional, peel away the onion, you may find you have some type of fear in accepting your power. My two cents. Good luck my friend.
jphcbpa Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 have you seen a therapist? your ex might be the face of a childhood wound. Many people find themselves enamored with what they cannot have. Unavailability and not being able to have what you want, although painful, can be deliciously enticing in many ways That miserable deprived place feels so comfy and familiar to us. Even though we know where it leads to letdown, loneliness, sitting by the phone..we will let that feeling lead us around by the nose Wanting what we cannot have is a universal dilemma. It is so easy to conjure up fantasies about how delicious it would be if we could only have "that", even though we know we never could. Then we do not have to deal with what we do not have. And we do not have to face issues like intimacy, commitment and love. Learn to recognize longing and yearning for what we cannot have. And ask for the courage and wisdom to learn about the true delights of available, requited love. - Melody Beattie "More Language of Letting Go"
learning_slowly Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 You stil think about them after all that time because you're choosing not to move on. If you were trying to accomplish something, would you have time to think about them. Try to do something in your life and not rely on somebody who is no longer in your life. Only you can change yourself.
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